Drunken happiness
by Emy.Elle
Summary: A little Jagan. Romantic, fluffy and slashy. Review, maybe?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's notes: Ok, I know I have two stories I should be working on, but I just felt inspired to write a little Jagan in honor of my favorite author Clarry. She's going through stuff and I'm hoping this will give her a "jolt" to keep writing, because I really find her work amazing and inspiring. **

**That being said, here's my Jagan. Hope you likey. Please REVIEW! Thank you.**

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A shot of tequila, two glasses of whiskey on the rocks and maybe two or three tall glasses of vodka. Yup! It was fair to say that Logan Mitchell was shitfaced. But he did not care. "Come on buddy, I'm taking you home". His voice caressed Logan's eardrums. He leaned in closer, rested his head on his friend's shoulder. He felt safe. Logan sighed.

"Jaaaammiieee…"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"I'm drunk!" Logan said laughing into his shoulder, as if it was news.

"Yeah, buddy, I see." James couldn't help a smile at his small friend, almost carrying his whole weight, as Logan leaned into him. James grabbed Logan from under his arm, somewhere over his ribs, trying to have a better grip as he made a beeline for the door through the crowded club. Logan wasn't making his job easy, dragging his feet, more than walking, but James made do. Once they were out of the club, James thought of carrying Logan in his arms, but that would just be weird so he settled for this awkward way of advancing to his car. He got Logan in, closing the passenger side door quickly, before Logan had a chance to fall out.

"Jamie…" Logan stuttered when James got in the car and started it up to get back to the Big Time Rush mansion. "Yeah Loges?" James tried not to laugh. He had never known what a cute drunk Logan was. Wait – what? Cute? No way! Where did that come from?

"Where we goin'?" Logan got out, his head resting on the cool window of James jeep."Home." James replied, focused on driving. To focused to see a small smile form on Logan's face. "Jaaaaamiiieee?" Logan asked again after a little while. "Yes, Logan?" James answered patiently."Where are the others?" Logan hick-upped. "Carlos is at his family's home, for his momma's birthday and Ken left for New Zealand to visit Jo. You know that, Logie." James missed another little smile on Logan's face. "Oh, yeah…" Logan finally said, making James sigh.

When they finally got home Logan was feeling better. Much better. His fuzzy senses were coming back a little. His head was still a mess, but the cold window and the breeze from James' open window made it better. A little. It was just as he had hoped. James got the car into the mansions' garage and came round the car to get him out and Logan pretended he couldn't stand properly so James just decided to carry him, missing yet another little smile. Logan snuggled close to James, hiding his face in James' neck.

"Logan. Logan." James shook him a little, thinking Logan was falling asleep. "Mmm" was all the reply he got. "Logan, move you're tickling me." Instead of moving away Logan deliberately snuggled in closer, breathing in James' ear, sending shivers down his spine, making him giggle. "Logaaaan." James whined, shaking his friend a little as he struggled to open the door to the house.

He took Logan to his room, set him down on the bed. "Let's get you undressed, ok, Logie?" Logan fought himself to stop smiling. His plan was working better than he had hoped. "Mhmm…" Logan agreed, letting James struggle a little with his shirt, finally getting his hands around James' neck to pretend support himself as James pulled at his t-shirt. Logan got his hands up just at the right time, falling back on his bed, once his torso was free of all cloths covering him. His heart began racing as James fought his pants down as well. This time Logan didn't help. He couldn't help a giggle. He really was drunk. Not as drunk as he was at the club, but still drunk enough.

"What?" James asked a little abruptly, his head shooting up from someplace near Logan's crotch. Logan almost died at the sight of James' flushed face next to his dick. Which twitched deliciously as Logan propped himself up on his elbows. How James could miss something so obvious was beyond Logan's level of comprehension. He giggled again. "I stink." Logan stated, hoping that THAT will do the trick. "You kinda do… Shower?" James asked, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah…" James sighed at Logan's answer. "You can't stand…" James sighed again. "Help me?" Logan made a face he hoped was cute. James hung his head between his shoulders. "You'll owe me. Huge! Absolutely huge!" James pointed a finger at Logan before getting his shirt off.

Logan gaped at James. He could not believe it was that easy. And again James missed his facial expression. The man either was the most innocent person in existence or the most oblivious. As James tugged his jeans off Logan squealed. James turned to Logan. "Commando?" Logan asked happily. "Yes!" Logan giggled. James really was huge. Long and thick. Logan licked his lips as James walked into his bathroom to turn the shower on.

Logan got off the bed to follow James then remembered he wasn't supposed to be able to stand so he got down on all fours, as if he had fallen off the bed just as James came back to get him. When James saw Logan he rushed by his friend's side, pulling him up. Logan got goose bumps all over his body from the delicious skin to skin touch. He felt as he was growing hard. It was no way that James would miss THAT once he was butt naked. When he was standing up straight, hands on James' chest, for support he decided it was time to make his move.

"Jaaaamiiieee…"

"Yes, Logan?" James' voice was soft as he looked down at his friend. Logan moved his hand from James' chest, feeling sorry as he did. He made a little motion with his index finger, asking James to lean in, as if to find out a secret. James indulged Logan, leaned in a little, to his level. The same second Logan's hand went behind James' neck, his lips latching onto James' with hunger, conveying as much passion and need as he could in the half second it took James to actually realize what exactly was happening and react. Logan braced himself for that.

James squealed his signature girly squeal and backed up a couple of steps. Logan swayed on his feet, already missing James' warm body and feeling his rejection right in his heart. Logan started to fall back on his ass, not really caring what would happen to him, but James took a giant step forward and steadied him, keeping as much distance as he could between the two of them.

"Logan! You are DRUNK!" James controlled his voice from actually shouting. "Not that drunk." Logan mumbled under his breath, keeping his eyes from James'. James shook him by the shoulders. Logan's head bobbed back and forward a couple of times. "I am your friend, almost your brother!" James tried to reason. Logan closed his eyes, feeling himself tear up. "I'll help you shower…" James sighed. "You clearly won't remember anything in the morning." James took a baby step forward, got his arm around Logan's shoulders and ushered him to the shower.

By now the pain of rejection had dealt with Logan's beginning erection so James was none the wiser about the effects he had on Logan when he pulled Logan's boxer briefs down. Logan watched him almost kneel down in front of him as he helped with removing the black piece of cotton from around his ankles. He had to swallow a lump in his throat.

Before getting up James looked at Logan, keeping eye contact as he stood up to his full height. Logan's cock twitched painfully. James noticed something shift in Logan's eyes and looked down. He saw the half erection. "Logan…" His voice was shivering. He felt exposed. "You're beautiful." Logan simply said before taking a small step forward. James backed up. "Logan… you… are… drunk!" James said emphasizing each word, making sure Logan understood. "Not enough."

Logan reached out, touching James' left bicep with his fingertips. A ghost of a touch. He was amazed to see goose bumps on the skin he had touched. "You are so beautiful." He said again. "Just… let me show you how beautiful I see you." His hand ghosted down James' forearm, more goose bumps making their way to the surface of the perfect tan skin.

"Logan… I…" James stuttered. He was afraid to do or say anything. He might hurt his friend physically or mentally somehow. He couldn't do anything. He felt frozen. Logan's words were just what he needed to hear, his touch just right. It was confusing. And then Logan was kissing him again. His lips so soft and gentle. James didn't move, afraid of what he may do. Logan didn't seem to care. His lips moving to James' neck and chest and oh, God, it felt so good!

Logan was scared. James was not moving. But he was not pushing Logan away either. That had to be a good sign, right? "I've dreamt of loving you for so long. Showing you how you should be treated… worshiped." Logan whispered, his lips moving slowly over James' collarbones. "Logan…" Logan shivered at the sound of his name. "You need a shower and sleep." James tried.

"I do need a shower." Logan agreed allowing James to get then in the shower cabin, making sure he was leaning against the back wall, under the warm spray. Logan started sliding down a little, giving James the last little "push" into stepping inside the cabin himself and closing the door. Logan knew James' devotion to him as a friend would make him step inside.

James got Logan on his feet up again. Logan smiled. "You do care for me." Logan whispered. "You're my friend, Logan. Of course I care." Logan sighed. "Please. One time. Be more." Logan asked, hugging James' waist, letting his head rest on James' chest. "Logan, I can't. By morning you won't remember a thing…" James trailed off. "But I will."

"Logan stop being silly." James took the shower gel and started running it all over Logan's body. Logan sighed in pleasure, his cock twitching against James' thigh. "Stop that!" James asked. "I can't control it. Like you can't control how beautiful you are." Logan latched his lips on James' nipple gaining a moan. "Logan, please…" Before James could continue, Logan bit down a little, making James trail off in a little delicious moan. Logan's dick twitched again. "Logan, stop…" Logan moved to James' other nipple, moving his hands to knead James' ass a little and pull him closer, in the process. "Logan… please… stop!" James asked, his breath catching, more little moans escaping his lips as Logan added a little teeth to his teasing. "I will as soon as you stop liking it." Logan replied, his lips moving to James' collarbone again. He received a gasp. "You taste like heaven on my tongue." Logan licked at James' ear shell. James shivered.

"How…?" James tried asking, feeling himself getting hard as Logan's actions. "I love you, James. I know what you need. Let me give you what you need. Let me love you." Logan kissed James again. This time he got a reply from the soft lips. A small reply that made Logan's hear fly with happiness.

"Don't make me regret this…"

James caved in. He kissed Logan back, running his soapy hands down to Logan's ass. Logan opened his mouth for James, allowing him to take control. The taste of James invaded the little brain cells he had left, making him drunk with happiness and love.

A moan came from somewhere in between them. James wasn't sure from which neck, but the sound made him grow harder. Logan's submission to him was so delicious. The kiss tasted of alcohol and something else. Something sweet. Something he wanted more of. "Logan…" He wanted to pull away, he wanted to stop, he wanted…more! Suddenly kissing Logan was more important than breathing.

Logan shivered at the way James said his name. He parted their lips and kneeled. He came face-to-face with James' cock. He licked his lips. "No, Logan, don't…" James almost moaned out when he realized what Logan wanted to do. His words never matching the message sent out. Logan didn't bother listening to the words, just the sound of his name spilling from James' lips was enough. He looked up at James. "Say my name again…" he begged while his hand caressed his balls. "Logan…" James threw is head back as Logan gently licked at the top of his dick. Tiny kitten licks, almost like tasting him. "Fuck… Logan…"

"You're delicious." Logan said simply right before taking James into his mouth as much as he could, covering the rest of him with his hand. James felt like he had died and gone to heaven while Logan moved up and down and up and down and up and down on him at an increasing pace. "Jesus, Logan!" he let out every now and then, fisting Logan's hair.

When Logan popped off him, James let out a growl. "I need you inside of me." Logan whispered as he got up, looking James right in the eyes. That scared James. The honesty. The need. The determination inside of Logan scared the shit out of him. "I… I don't… know… how..." James whispered back, in fear. "I'll hurt you. I don't want to hurt you. This… this is enough…" James hid his face in Logan's neck, kissing at his fair skin, hoping to distract Logan, to give him enough pleasure.

"It's not enough. You need to know how I feel. I need to be yours. Please, Jamie." Logan pulled back to look James in the eyes. "But I'll hurt you." James looked down at their feet. At their erections rubbing together so deliciously. "I like pain." Logan whispered in a little voice. More a lie than anything, but he needed James and he would do or say anything to make that happen.

James' head shot up a little, his hazel gaze burrowing into Logan's chocolate eyes. "That's a lie." He stated simply. "No." Logan lied sternly. "In bed I like pain." Logan lied again. "Well… we're not IN BED!" James replied, hugging Logan close. "I don't want to hurt you." He whined. "Then get me ready." Logan asked, letting go of James' body, with a heavy heart and turning around to face the wall and pushing his behind onto James' erection. James gasped, trailing his lips on the back of Logan's neck.

"How?" he asked, his hands snaking to Logan's erection, tugging. The moan coming from those delicious lips told him he did good so he did it again. Logan's head fell back on James' strong shoulder. "Use your fingers. One at a time. Just go slow." Logan moaned a little. "Just do it now. Please" Logan begged. James had to listen to that.

He gently moved his left hand to Logan's ass while trying to keep a steady rhythm on his dick. He gently slipped a finger in. Logan sighed. "Move. Slowly" James nodded and did as he was told. "Mmmm… so good." Logan moaned. "Another." He demanded and James obeyed.

Logan moaned again. He did feel a little pain, but it was James. His gorgeous James! He didn't care about the pain. He focused on James' hand. His big hand was covering his dick almost completely. It felt amazing. That made the pain go away. Soon he wanted more so he began moving on his own on James' long fingers, a complete moaning mess. "God! Please! More!"

James pushed another finger in past the tight ring of muscles, his heart sinking at the sound of pain emanating from Logan's lips. He wanted to pull his fingers out, but Logan started moving on his fingers, mewls spilling from his lips. "Harder!" Logan demanded, moving hard on his hand. James did it. With a tiny heart. Filled with fear. "Fuck! So good! Deeper! God!" Logan's words encouraged him. Without wanting he curled up his fingers a little. He felt like he hit something and it kinda grossed him out, but when Logan moaned in pleasure he thought of it again. "Do it again. Do THAT again!" And James did. "Fuck!" Logan cried out in pure pleasure. James repeated his actions again and again while keeping a steady rhythm with his other hand.

"FUCK JAMES! FUCK!" Logan suddenly came all over James' hand and the wall in front of him. James watched in amazement, never stopping his movements inside of Logan. "I can't take it, James, please! I need you inside – now!" Logan shivered, coming down from his high.

"I'll still hurt you…"

"Please!" Logan's hoarse voice made James twitch in desire. "Please!"

"Logan…"

"Please!"

James caved again. He took his fingers out of Logan, slowly. "Too empty…" Logan whined, bracing himself on the wall in front of him. James instantly softened with fear. He moved his hand up and down his length a little, allowing the shower water to slick him up. "James…please!" James lined himself up to Logan's hole, fear paralyzing him.

Logan felt James' dick at his hole. He felt how hesitant James was so he pushed back. Hard! He took James in half way or more, he didn't know for sure. It hurt so much. He felt so stretched. He felt ripped in two. But he was so happy. He finally was James' completely. He forced his body to relax while biting down on his bottom lips. James' arms wrapped around him in a tight embrace. "I'm hurting you…" James whispered apologetically into his ear. "Give me more." Logan breathed out with the little strength he had. James snapped his hips forward in one swift move. Logan cried out in pain.

"I'm sorry." James let out against Logan's ear. He felt Logan squeeze his insides around him. He felt like he had a cock ring on. Hard and unable to move. But so warm. So delicious. So his. "I'm sorry." He chanted. Logan's breaths were fast and shallow. He was adjusting to the pain. James held him tight. His back to James' chest, his ass against his lower belly. "You feel so good. So tight. So damn tight." James whispered, hoping to relay some of his feelings to his Logan. Yes – HIS Logan. They were now one. He was HIS Logan. James embraced him closer.

Logan felt his ribs wanted to crumble under James' strong arms. "I feel so full." He let out. "You make me so full." He turned his face to James and James sealed their lips in the sweetest of kisses. "I love you, James." Logan said in their kiss as James began moving slowly.

He had no idea if Logan had adjusted but he could not take it anymore, he needed to move. Logan sighed with pleasure. James kept his pace gentle until Logan began moving on his own. He let Logan take charge a little while he bit down on Logan's shoulder, leaving a mark for the world to see. "You are mine now." James said gently, looking at the hickey he'd just made, taking charge once more.

Logan could have sworn he would die when he heard James claim his stake on him. Not even Heaven could be this good! When James hit his sweet spot me moaned loud. James got the hint and did it again. And again. And again. And again. Until Logan's throat felts sore from screaming and moaning. "More! More! More!" Spilled out from his lips.

James began losing control, pounding hard into Logan. Losing rhythm. His hands digging in Logan's hips hard, rough, without mercy. And still Logan demanded more of him. He tried to give Logan what he wanted, but he found himself coming. Hard. Deep inside of Logan. "Oh, my God! Logan!"

Logan felt James shoot his seed inside of him and almost wished he would have been a woman to turn this moment of pure love into a life. Tears began streaming down his face as he found his own release. Tears of happiness. Tears of jealousy. Tears of love. He made no noise as he came, just let go of everything and allowed euphoria to take over him.

James' legs gave in. he couldn't feel them anymore. He almost fell to his knees. Logan hissed at the loss. "I'm sorry, Logie… I… can't feel my legs…" Logan simply giggled and let himself down, on his knees, next to him. "Good." Logan smiled. James raised his hand to cup Logan's face. "How are you… emm… feeling?" Logan's smile grew a little. "Happy." He simply stated. "No… Not that…" James smiled, caressing Logan's face. "I mean…" He blushed and Logan giggled. "Sore. Empty. Happy. In love. Incomplete." Logan poured his heart out.

James simply smiled and sealed their lips together, his tears getting lost in the shower spray still hitting them. He just knew Logan would forget about it all in the morning! Logan broke the kiss. "Stay with me tonight?" James nodded. "And every night after that." James' heart leapt out of his chest. He nodded again. By morning Logan would be sober and change his mind. He'd take what he would be able to. Every second he could. He kissed Logan again before getting up and helping Logan up as well for what seemed like the billionth time that night.

Logan went into James' arms with a sigh of happiness. They spend a few moments hugging then washed up and made their way to Logan's king sized bed. Logan snuggled up in James' arms and drifted away to sleep, lulled by the steady beat of James' heart.

James watched over Logan's sleep for a long while, until the sun came up. He refused to fall asleep. He just knew his time with Logan was limited and he wanted every second. Making love to him tonight made him realize he was in love with his smaller friend. Everything made sense now. Why he was so protective over Logan. Why he had felt like a mud worm that time he had kissed Camille… Why he wanted to tear Camille's head straight off her pretty girly shoulders at times… Why none of his dates seemed to hold his interest.

When James pulled out of his thoughts he realized hours had passed. It was 10 minutes to 8. Logan would be waking up soon. James sighed. He rolled Logan off of his chest, kissed his neck gently and got out of bed and Logan's room, taking his clothes with him. He ignored the pain in his chest while he did so. He got to his own room, threw his clothes in the hamper and crawled into his own bed, pulling the covers over his head, allowing sleep to take over him, take him away from the pain of not having Logan.

Logan woke up a while later. Alone. He tried to move. A flash of pain shot to his brain. He smiled remembering the previous night. He sighed and gingerly got out of bed, in search of James. He knew James would run now, but Logan was not about to let that happen. Not after making love the way they did. The first room he searched was the logical option – James' room. Logical and correct. He found James in the middle of the two by two meters bed. Logan smiled. He gingerly crawled in bed next to James, inside of his arms. He sighed happily.

It took a while for James to wake up, but Logan enjoyed the wait. When James stirred and woke up Logan noticed the dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn't slept all night long. James rubbed the sleep from his eyes, making the cutest of faces, stretching a little.

"Morning, gorgeous." Logan whispered. He felt James' heart speeding up and he knew. He knew James was his. He knew it for his heart was beating the same loud rhythm.

James propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at Logan, in his arms, in his bed, with his love bite on his neck. Naked. In his bed. James' breath caught. "Morning…"

Logan caressed James' face. James didn't move.

"You were wrong, you know."

"About?" James asked, his voice still filled with sleep.

"I remember." James' eyes went wide. "I remember everything." Logan breathed out. "Every kiss. Every touch. The way you felt inside of me. The way you made me yours."

James' heart stopped. Logan remembered. Logan was in his arms. Logan wanted him. He could not think straight. He could not even remember how to breathe. He had no idea how to respond.

"I am yours." Logan gently touched his hickey. "Please don't run. Don't let me go. I love you."

"I love you." James whispered claiming Logan's lips in a heated kiss. They only broke apart when air became desperately needed.

"Be my boyfriend?" James asked.

"Yes! A thousand times YES!" Logan squealed with happiness.

James' smile shone like the sun, illuminating the whole room and Logan's heart.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's notes: **

**Ok, due to popular demand - four out of five reviews! OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH! - I am making this a story. I'm trying to go into m-preg. It will be my first m-preg so PLEASE REVIEW! I need opinions! As many as I can get to know if I'm doing good or not.**

**Ok, this is emm..a cute little thing I had in my brain that just needed to get out, so, yeah..here's a little fluff for you all. Hope you'll like it as much as I like writing it. I know it's short, sorry about that. I'll update soon though, as Jagan is totally blowing up my mind right now :)**

**Love you all! Thank you for the support!**

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The new couple spent hours in bed just kissing, holding each other in a way neither of them knew to be possible before the previous night. The change from friends to boyfriends felt simple, easy, natural to the both of them.

Logan felt like he was always meant to have his head on James shoulder when they slept, like…two pieces of puzzle completing one another to create a picture of a beautiful whole. His body was still sore from making love to James last night but he loved every feeling he had as if it would somehow enlarge his happiness. James was so gentle and caring with him, making sure not to move him too much, but Logan didn't care about the pain. Being James' - that was worth it all!

By noon both of them grew hungry and needed to leave the safe heaven of James' bed only to find an emptier than empty refrigerator. It would have been Kendall's turn to go grocery shopping that week and both of them had overlooked that little chore. "We've got… stale bread and maybe some jam of some sort from when Momma Knight sent us a "survival kit" last month" James giggled, his head buried in the cupboard above the sink. Logan sighed, leaning back on the counter. "I want coffee first, then I'll try to think!".

"I'll make you some." James offered. "Now, go sit down." He ushered his new boyfriend to the living room couch while he turned the coffee maker on. "I'll bring you a sandwich…" James suddenly stopped talking when he heard Logan awing cutely on the couch. He slowly turned to face his new boyfriend with a questioning look. "If I had known you're such a good boyfriend, I would've gotten drunk sooner." Logan replied to the unspoken question in James' eyes.

James gawked. "You mean…" He completely forgot about the coffee and stepped back into the living room. "…you did all of…last night…on purpose?" He asked taking a step with each word, standing in front of Logan, looking down at him from the incredible height his stature naturally gave him. Logan blushed. Deep.

He avoided James' gaze. "Maybe" He mumbled under his breath, looking down at James' feet, a bit scared, waiting for his reaction. His heart sunk a little - he had manipulated James. He had manipulated his best friend. It did turn out better than he could ever have had planned, but…

"You…planned…this…?" James whispered. "You…planned…us?" James sunk to his knees, to be at Logan's level. He could not believe this was real. He could not believe Logan loved him. Wanted him. Had planned to get him. Spent time thinking of him! Really thinking of him, not just as a friend. He could not believe it.

Logan's eyes shot up to James'. He was filled of fear. He couldn't bear it; if James were to reject him now… Now, after they'd finally - finally - been one. Logan would just die! "NO!" He spoke harshly. It made James take a little step back. "I didn't plan US. Yes, I did plan… I mean… A kiss… Maybe a b-b-bl…" He trailed off. He couldn't say it. He couldn't say that he had objectified James to that extent. He blushed and looked down at his hands, tears beginning to form in his chocolate eyes as he did so.

"Logan…" There it was. His name. From James' lips. The best sound ever. "Logan, look at me…" James asked gently, taking Logan's hands in his, covering them with his own. The heat radiating from James made Logan melt through all the fear. He looked at James. When their eyes met Logan was blown away. Love. Just love. Nothing more.

"You planned for us…" James' brain would just not work properly anymore. He had so much he wanted to tell Logan. How happy that thought made him. How much love he had inside his heart. But his brain would just not work properly. "I planned to show you what you mean to me, Jamie…I didn't plan that you'd feel the same way…" Logan said, his voice soft and gentle, like sharing a secret.

"Do you mind I do?" James heard himself ask. "Not even for half a nanosecond!" Logan's reply came the second James had finished asking his question. No doubt in his words. James smiled with all of his heart, his eyes illuminating with the happiness in his heart. "Good." James nodded. "Because I love you, Logan Mitchell."

Logan's tears began to fall. They were't sad tears anymore. James wiped them away with his thumbs, cupping Logan's face in his big, warm hands. "I love you." Logan whispered, putting so much feeling into those three little words it hurt. James simply kissed Logan's lips. Gentle and simple. Just a little touch of the lips lingering on Logan's.

Fear went away, melting in fluffy pink clouds flying around Logan's peripheral vision even though his eyes were closed, enjoying the closeness of James. His scent. His warmth.

When Logan's stomach reminded him that neither of them could live only of love - as much as they both wanted to right now - James pulled away with a giggle. "How about that sandwich now?" James asked him sweetly. "I'd like that."

James got up and went back to the kitchen. He got busy on their toast and jam sandwiches singing and dancing to himself. Logan turned on the TV but muted it so he could hear James' voice as he worked on their food. He watched with a smile as James would move to the beat in his head around the kitchen while singing. He put a hand on his heart, barely containing another "aww" noise. Then Logan froze. At first he wasn't sure, but then… He looked again at James' moves and he realized - his heart was beating in time with James' beat.

He had to make sure. He got up and walked into the kitchen, watching James from the door frame. "Hey." James looked up, not bothering to stop his little dance. "Whacha lookin' at?" James asked as he licked away a little bit of jam from his thumb. "Oh, nothin'" Logan replied, grinning, right before joining James in his silly dance. James giggled at their silliness but kept singing while he put the jam back in the cupboard, Logan joining in here and there, making a song that was no longer James' but theirs.

Logan smiled with all of his being as they took their make-shift lunch to the living room to eat it in front of the TV. Felt like a cheesy old movie, but he enjoyed it tremendously. When they were done with "lunch" they went shopping. Which turned out to be a whole new experience for the both of them.

Logan wanted to hold James hand, but feared to do so in public. James had told Logan once, a long time ago, of his fear of paparazzi and public opinion and Logan did not want to ruin James' public image in any way, so, with a little inward sigh, he kept his hands in his pockets.

James had no idea how to act. It felt awkward. He knew they'd be photographed and their fans would have a field day about "Jagan" going shopping, but he wanted to feel Logan's smooth skin against his. Still Logan kept his hands in his pockets. So James did the next best thing - he flung an arm around Logan's neck, pulling him close. Logan looked up questioning his action so James just shrugged and basically dragged Logan into the store as flashes went on around them. He couldn't stop a stupid smile on his face.

Logan mirrored James' smile. Having his touch meant more to Logan than anything in the world right now. It meant that James was showing him off. James wanted to world to know. Logan's heart was beating like crazy, wanting out of his rib cage!

They bought half a store. By the time they got back home and put everything away is was already time for dinner, but neither wanted to cook so they settled for Logan's back-up plan - ready made sandwiches! "Good thing you're smart." James told him, mouth half full from wolfing down his turkey sandwich. Logan ginned. It would have been adorable had he not had a piece of lettuce covered in mayo hanging out from between his teeth. "Sexy…" James commented, swallowing his own bite. "Shut up!" Logan shoved James in the shoulder.

After "dinner" they spent the night cuddled up on the living room couch, just watching some silly movie HBO was showing. James wanted to never let go of Logan. He wanted to make love to his boyfriend over and over again until both of them would be exhausted and unable to move, but was scared to come on too strong, so he just held Logan impossibly close to his chest.

As night covered everything in gentle darkness Logan forgot about the movie and got lost in the beauty of James' features. The eerie blue light from the TV was turning James into a god of beauty and Logan was in awe. He remained oblivious to James' desires, as they were never expressed, he just felt James' arms wrap around his torso tighter than tight. He let the feeling of being loved wash over him as he fell asleep with a huge happy smile on his face.

James sensed Logan still as he fell asleep. He felt so tired from losing a whole night's sleep that it didn't take long for him to follow Logan's example and drift away in restful sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's notes:**

**See I'm supposed to be working, but I can not help but write. I hope you like it. I really hope you do, because I really really love this story.**

**Hope to add to it soon. Not today though :)**

**Love you all! Thank you for your support and beautiful reviews!**

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Morning came with a bang. Literally!

Carlos returning from his momma's birthday party meant a lot of stuff for him to carry. Sylvia Garcia had made her son bring back food and gifts for her adoptive sons. Carlos could barely carry everything. Especially the food. Sylvia had cooked for an entire army! Which…come to think of it…was the way they usually ate, so why should that be a surprise? The surprise was finding Logan and James sleeping together on the couch. Carlos was in a bit of a shock so he maybe kind of dropped a pan…or three on the floor as he was walking to the kitchen.

"What the FUCK!" James yelled jumping to full height in a half a second, straight from his deep sleep, his eyes still not adjusted to the light, barely open. Logan didn't have time to react and he fell face first on the floor, from James' chest. "Ouch!" Was all that Logan could say, trying to get his arms on the floor to support his weight.

Carlos forgot his shock and started to laugh hysterically. "How's the carpet tasting like, Logie?" He teased mercilessly. That got James awake and looking at his feet to see poor Logan with his face on the carpet, his body in an awkward position, still partially on the couch, fighting to get up. "Logan, shit!" James squeaked, pulling his boyfriend up from the floor. "Ow!" Logan made before James could see his busted lips already starting to get swollen.

"I'm sorry…" James cooed, kissing Logan's lip. A little hiss of pain synchronized with another loud bang. Both men turned to see a very white and fainted Carlos splattered between pans of food and bags of clothes. They turned to look at one another.

Logan turned white. He knew Carlos was from a very religious family. He - certainly - would be against same sex relationships. He felt sick. "I need to clean my lip…" He told James, not daring to look him in the eyes. James nodded and sighed. I'll take care of Sleeping Beauty…" Logan chuckled, forgetting his worries for a second. When James moved to get Carlos off the floor, Logan stopped him and kissed his lips. He wanted one more kiss before the Garcia storm would come.

James replied to the kiss as gently as he could, but Logan still hissed a little. That made James feel a LOT guilty. "I'm sorry, baby…" He caressed Logan's cheek. "Baby?" Logan beamed. "Too soon?" Logan was about to spring wings when he replied: "No. Not at all… baby." He kissed James again and left, with a spring in his step, to get his lip cleaned up.

James shook his head. "Yeah. He's the girl." James chuckled to himself once Logan had left. He then picked Carlos up, put him on the couch and, with s huge sigh - "What I don't do for my friends", James thought with a devilish smile on his face - slapped Carlos over the face twice - HARD! When he was younger he had had calcium drops and had lost consciousness a couple of times. Slapping had been his mother's choice of waking him up, before making him pig out on cheeses and milk and - yuck - spinach!

Carlos came to his senses, his face ablaze. "What…?" He tried to ask. "You fainted." James shrugged and simply went to pick up the mess Carlos had made. "You kissed Logan." Carlos stated watching James' back as he picked up the scattered pots and pans, trying to save the contents as best he could. "Yes." James replied matter-of-factly.

"WHY?" Carlos' eyes were as big as saucers. "His lip is busted." James carried a couple of things to the kitchen. "James…you…kissed…Logan…on the LIPS!" Carlos bounced to the kitchen, forgetting the bump on his head. He soon regretted it, having to lean against the counter. "Yes, Carlos. I kissed Logan's lips." James put the savable food in different recipients.

"WHY?" Carlos kept asking. "That's something you do with…"

"Carlos, I can't believe you." James chuckled. "You're like a five year old sometimes. And, I KNOW you had girlfriends…" James closed the fridge and turned to meet Carlos' gaze.

"Yes. That were GIRLS! And not my best friend since pre-k!"

"Well…" James shrugged. With the corner of his eyes he registered a little movement. He looked up and saw Logan watching his discussion with Carlos. He saw the apprehension in Logan's eyes and in his stance - hands folded against his chest - a dead give-away of his nervousness.

"You're boyfriends now?" Carlos asked like a child would, looking at his feet.

"Yes." James replied, leaving no room for doubt, looking Logan in the eyes, above Carlos' head, across the distance separating them. Logan nodded and smiled, his hands unfolding, his feet carrying him James' arms.

Carlos didn't notice the silent conversation between his two best friends. He kept his eyes low, on James' feet and sighed. When another pair of feet walked into his line of vision he looked up.

"Carlos…" Logan tried but Carlos put a hand up to stop whatever he was about to say. "I don't know what this is." Carlos started with the most serious tone of voice either James or Logan had ever heard from the Latino's mouth. "But you are both my friends. If you screw whatever this is up I will NOT choose between the two of you and I will NOT be your handkerchief!" He stated, his eyes just as ablaze as his face had been a few moments before.

Both Logan and James felt their jaws fall. Neither expected this reaction. Logan was happy that Carlos had accepted them as a couple with such ease, but James felt hurt. "This is love, Carlos. Love. We're NOT going to ruin it!" James snapped back, surprising the hell out of Logan. "Good." Carlos nodded shortly and regretted it once more. His head began to actually throb in pain. He groaned and put a hand up on his bump - gingerly. "Why didn't I wear my helmet?" He whined.

"Go sit down. I'll bring you some ice to make your bump go down and an aspirin for the headache you're gonna have in about two minutes." Logan instructed. "Yes, Doctor." Carlos smiled. He obeyed Logan's instructions.

As Logan took out a pack of frozen pees and put them on Carlos' bump James went back to cleaning up and - maybe - making some food. And just like that everything had gone back to normal.

Over breakfast both of them literally interrogated Carlos about his family and he told them every little second of what he did while he was back home, in Minnesota. He gave them the gifts from Sylvia and laughed while stomping his feet at their faces and they unwrapped a couple of horrendous looking hand made sweaters with bull-dogs on the front - the logo of their former high school. "You'll HAVE to wear those next time yo go home! HA! HA! HA! HA! FINALLY! FINALLY! I get my revenge!" He held his tummy while kicking his feet in the air, laughing at the top of his lungs, tears streaming down his face. "oh, my God! I can't stop! Oh, my! Try them on, I promised Mami I'd send her a picture." Carlos kept on laughing.

Logan groaned and slipped the hideous red sweater on. James watched in awe. How could Logan be that cute in such a horrifying piece of clothing? He smiled. "Don't laugh!" Logan pointed an index finger in his face. "I wouldn't dare. Plus…You look perfectly adorable!" James whispered in his ear, effectively turning Logan tomato red and quieting Carlos down in one shift move.

"EEEEWWWWW" Carlos made. "New rule! No being couple-y in front of my poor, innocent eyes!" Carlos covered his face. "New rule, my ass!" Logan replied kissing James thoroughly. "EEEEEWWWW!" Carlos made again. "If you do that again I promise I'll post it on every single site I can think of!" Carlos warned.

James moved away from Logan just enough to look him in the eyes. Logan shrugged and James glued their lips once more. The kissed a while until a flash went off. "I warned you!" Carlos said.

"Dude! Don't. The fans will start a riot…" Logan tried to reason. "Let him." James whispered in Logan's ear and brought him in for another kiss. The surprise froze Logan's lips for a second, then he melted into James' kiss. His own private Heaven.

Carlos gawked at the two of them. He couldn't post the picture. He looked down at his phone screen. It was the sweetest of pictures. He sighed and, on a whim, activate his Bluetooth. He found James and Logan's phones, sent them the picture with a cute caption reading _puppy love_, as the bulldog on Logan's chest was in plain view. He deleted the picture from his own device and took the wrapping paper to the garbage.

By the time Carlos was back in the living room James had his green bull dog on. Carlos froze. "Dude! It's not fair! You look good in that thing!" Carlos whined. "Told you so." Logan winked. James just started shining. "I am The Face, after all!" He played it off. "Oh, shut up and smile pretty for Mami!" Logan allowed James to pull him to his side as the both smiled wide for Carlos' picture to his mom.

As soon as Sylvia received the picture he called her son to coo over the phone at how cute her sweaters looked on her two sons. She demanded to talk to both of them and, somehow, managed to keep the three of them on the phone for longer than 3 hours. Papi Garcia made her end the call yelling that it would cost a pretty penny for her to gush over the phone about some silly sweaters.

When all that ended the boys started their normal vacation schedules - Carlos met up with Stephanie for brunch and rollerblading in the park, James went for a little time in the gym and Logan found his way to the pool, with a medical book in hand. His lips was in a little bit of a pain, but it was ok.

He leaned back on his chaise-long and relaxed a little while his mind worked over the last couple of days. The happiest of his life. How loving, how caring James had been. how well Carlos had taken their relationship. He worried a little about what Kendall's reaction would be, but it didn't matter. James would take care of it, like he had taken care of the way Carlos reacted. Oh, how much he missed James right now. How much he missed being sore form having James inside of him. His mind started drifting a little and before he knew it he was half hard. He felt somewhat ashamed and almost ran inside the house, to the privacy of his bathroom. Except that was the wrong choice.

Logan saw his shower cabin and gulped at the memories. He quickly stripped and jumped in the cabin, closing the door as James had done. He grew hard at the thought of James' toned body. He started the shower extra cold, but that only made his nipples harden and his erection grow painful. Then an incredible need came over him. "Oh, James…" Logan whispered. "I need you, baby." Logan braced himself against the wall. The same wall. And put a finger inside himself. It hurt. He didn't care. Images of James were flashing inside of his head. Memories of his scent. His sounds. The way he felt. Logan added another finger. It hurt like hell. It wasn't enough. He added another. Pain shot through his spine but silly little moans left his lips. It still wasn't enough. He curled his fingers as the pain was moving away and added another finger. There. That felt closer to having James inside him. Except it wasn't the same. There was no warmth, no love. A tear fell down his face. He kept going. Soon he exploded without even touching his red dick. More from the memories than from touching himself.

* * *

At the gym James found he had lost focus on what he was doing just after half hour of working out. He felt something was missing. He tried to shake the feeling off, tried to work out, but he lost count of his push-ups again. He sighed. His mind drifted to Logan. He missed Logan's scent. How silly was that?

James sighed and got up, picked up his water bottle and headed for the showers. He had to go back home now. He took the quickest shower in the history of James Diamond taking a shower, got dressed in five seconds flat and left. The nice lady at the reception desk smiled at him and asked him if he had changed his hair style. He had forgotten about that. James freaking Diamond had forgotten to do his hair! "What's he doing to me?" James whispered to himself once his jeep was in gear and on the move.

He got back to the Big Time Rush mansion and went straight to the pool where Logan said he would be. All he found was Logan's abandoned book. James picked it up, with a raised eyebrow. He walked back inside and decided to check Logan's room. As soon as he opened the door his eardrums were caressed but Logan's moaning.

"What the…?" James growled. Now that Logan was HIS nobody - NOBODY - was allowed to even hear those sounds coming from his - HIS - boyfriend. HIS! James saw green in front of his eyes as jealousy took over him with every step closer to the bathroom. He opened the door without knocking and froze. He watched Logan finger himself and moan out his name.

When Logan came James felt like he could faint. That second he regretted wasting a whole night. He would not make that mistake again. He stripped in two swift moves.

"Logan." He gently reached out and caressed Logan's shoulder. He saw Logan use four fingers to finger himself. "Logan. Let me help." James pulled Logan's hand out of himself and turned him around. "You're here." Logan took a deep breath. "Let me take you to bed this time?" When Logan nodded James picked him up and carried him out of the much to tiny shower cabin.

"I love it when you carry me."

"Then I'll have to do that more often."

James allowed Logan to kiss him deeply while he carefully made his way to Logan's bed. When his left knee hit the bed he placed Logan down, never moving his lips from Logan's. He saddled Logan's lap and pushed him down on the bed, still kissing passionately. Logan moaned in pleasure, giving up the battle for dominance.

The feeling of Logan's submission went right to James' groin. He'd never known he liked control this much! Yet he did. He broke their kiss long enough to move Logan up on the pillows and settle himself between Logan's legs. As he parted Logan's thighs a little more, James slipped a finger inside of his lover. Logan threw his head back in pure pleasure. "Mmmm, baby, you did such a good job stretching yourself for me." James kissed along Logan's ear shell, slipping another finger inside of Logan.

Logan arched his back off the sheets. It felt so good to have James inside of him like that. He knew the best was yet to come. "Jamie." Logan whispered when James made yet another hickey on his neck. "Now they match." James' breath came hot in Logan's ear. He almost lost it again. He opened his eyes and met James' hazel, lust filled eyes. A hand moved up to caress a few soft strands out of James' eyes. "I love you." Logan closed the distance between their lips, kissing James lightly, lovingly.

James took his fingers out of his lover. Logan whined. "We need lube.." James used his last remaining lucid brain cell. "Left night stand drawer." Logan whispered and watched as James crawled to it. Before James could come back on top of him, Logan moved on top of James, kneading his ass cheeks. He gently kissed them. James sighed in pleasure. Logan smiled and spread them apart a little, licking at James' hole. James gasped. Logan licked circles around the little hole until he got dizzy and James turned into a moaning mess under him. When Logan slipped his tongue inside the tightness of James muscles he thought he'd lose his mind with pleasure. James gasped and moaned and made all these amazing sounds that drove Logan insane with need and love. "Fuck, Logan! God! That feels…SO GOOD!" James panted under him. Logan kept at it a little longer until his own need took over. He kissed a trail up James' back. "I'll give you more, just take me now."

James let out a low wolf-like growl and flipped under Logan, kissing him hard. So hard it hurt. He completely forgot about Logan's busted lip. He pushed Logan with his back on the mattress, slicked himself up and just slammed inside of Logan, needing to feel his heat. "Yes!" Logan let out. "Move!" Logan ordered and began moving on his own, legs around James' waist, pulling him closer, deeper.

James gave in and started moving at full speed. It hurt how much he wanted Logan. How much he needed Logan. He felt his orgasm coming fast. Right before releasing he stopped completely. Logan whined, opened his eyes and looked at him. "I want this to last." James started moving again. slowly. torturing them both. Logan arched his back. "More. More. Please, James. Let me come." He begged. "Not yet, baby. Hang on a little longer. Hang on with me. Just a little longer." James whispered back, kissing Logan's lips lovingly.

Logan wrapped his arms around James' neck, deepening the kiss. James started picking up speed again. This time he couldn't control neither Logan's nor his own orgasm. They came together, kissing the whole time.

James's arms gave in and Logan pulled him to his chest. "Stay like this." And James did. A long time. Until night feel and Carlos came knocking on their door, asking what they wanted for dinner. "Chinese!" They both answered as one.

"Figures. They're boyfriends. Now they even think alike!" They heard Carlos mumble outside the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's notes: **

**I can't stop writing! I've got the Jagan bug :)) Thank you Kimmi for your support, means a lot!**

**This chapter Logan's starting to get hormonal so bare with him. ****Hey, yupy! Kendall's here! Who's happy about that? :))**

**Ok, go on, read and PLIIIIZ let me know what you think.**

**Thank you and lots of love.**

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The past couple of days went like a blur for Logan. He had never felt happiness like this. He had never been more grateful for getting wasted. Weirdly enough that had been the best decision of his life. He only had one worry on his mind. And that worry had a name and a surname - Kendall Knight and his reaction to his and James' new relationship.

He clearly could not focus anymore of his book. With a sigh Logan got up from the couch and made his way to the kitchen, in search of something to drink. Something like milk. Yeah milk - that sounded yummy right about now. Maybe soy milk. The one with vanilla. Yummy vanilla. Logan's mouth watered at the thought. He opened the fridge and found…chocolate flavored soy milk - who drinks chocolate soy milk? That's just gross! Logan made a face and placed the milk carton back. With another sigh he went to get dressed and go shopping.

He made his way back to his room and smiled like a child knowing that the only thing of his in there anymore was his extensive book collection and his clothing, as it would not fit in James' closet. Logan shook his head. "My boyfriend has more clothes than a shopping mall." He giggled and got dressed. At last minute he decided to text James and let him know of the impromptu shopping trip asking if he wanted anything.

James was at the gym again. The man spent half his life working out! Not that Logan would ever complain. Never! James looked like a Grecian God - HIS Grecian God! Wow! That sounded nice! HIS Grecian God. Logan smiled and changed James' name in his contacts to Grecian God, giggling at himself.

He bought his craved soy vanilla milk, drinking half a carton before he even paid for it, then went back to buy another carton, just to make sure he had enough. When he was heading back to the cashier to pay for his milk a little girl came up and asked for a picture. He smiled and accepted gladly.

"You look funny." The cute five year old told him. "Oh…why?" He asked in confusion. "Your mustache is white. Like Santa's!" She giggled and hugged his neck. Logan was taken aback by her cuteness so he left his little milk mustache as her mom took the picture. "That's because I'm growing it back, to have it full length by Christmas." Logan whispered to her, raising an index finger to his lips, as if telling her the biggest secret in the world. The girl's mother smiled warmly as his little fan gasped. "You're Santa?" She asked in awe, putting her little pudgy hands over her little mouth. Logan winked at her and nodded. She hugged him again. "Can you bring me a pink unicorn bike, please Santa! I'll be good! I promise!" She whispered in his ear. Her mom nodded "yes" and Logan agreed. The little girl left bouncing in happiness.

Logan smiled as he stood up, wiping his upper lip. He simply paid for his groceries and went home with a stupid smile, half imagining how it would be like to have a daughter as cute as that. He sighed knowing he wasn't destined to be a father. At least not to his and James' child. A tear ran down his face before he could hold it in. He wiped it away as he pulled into the BTR Mansion's garage. He put his milk in the fridge and went right to bed, flopping face down on the mattress, feeling sorry for himself, allowing tears to just fall of their own free will.

* * *

Carlos heard the garage door open. He got up from his lounge chair, by the pool, and went inside to see who it was. He saw Logan go to his room. To his old room. Logan didn't look right. He seemed depressed.

"If they had a fight, I'll bash both their heads in!" Carlos said, determined, to the air. Logan hadn't noticed him. Carlos sighed and went to check up on Logan. He found the door wide open and Logan, face first on his bed, crying. Crying like a child that lost his favorite toy.

Carlos got scared. Logan didn't usually cry. Come to think of it, Carlos hadn't seen Logan cry since first grade when he fell from a tree and broke his leg in two places. He thought of what to do. If it was about James, Carlos had said he would not meddle. If it wasn't about James, though, he should be a good friend and, at least, offer Logan a shoulder to cry on. But how to know the reason why Logan was crying? If he were to ask and Logan would say it was about James then Carlos could not leave his friend and just walk away…What to do? Logan's sobs were filling the room, hitting Carlos' eardrums like jackhammers. Jackhammers of guilt for standing like a statue in the door way. Then it came to him. Call James! Ask if he had upset Logan. Simple. Simple and fast.

Carlos got his phone out. It only took a ring for James to answer. "Heya Los!"

"Dude! What did you do?"

"Do? What do you mean?"

"Logan's in his room bawling his eyes out. WHAT did you do?!"

"WHAT?! Carlos what are you talking about?"

"So…It's not your fault…" Carlos replied in a small voice. Now he was feeling guilty about scaring the shit out of James. He knew how protective James was of Logan. And that was way - WAY - before they ever got together.

"I'm coming home!" James ended their conversation. Carlos hung his head and walked inside Logan's room, putting a hand on his friend's back. "Logie… what's wrong?" He cooed, trying to get Logan to calm down. Logan just shook his head "no" and emitted a sound in the pillows. Yeah - that helped! Not at all. Carlos sighed inwardly. Logan could be such a child at times. Apparently this was one of those times. Carlos remained silent and kept on rubbing Logan's lower back gently - trying and failing miserably to calm him down.

* * *

James just took his stuff out of the gym locker, threw the key on the reception desk and ran out of there at full speed. It took him a fraction of the normal traffic time to get home. He didn't even bother parking the car properly before he was literally flying inside the mansion to find out what was wrong with his Logan.

He found Carlos rubbing Logan's back. Logan just kept crying. When their eyes met, Carlos got up and left the room, mouthing a little "I'm sorry" on his way out. James sat down on the bed.

"Baby?" He asked worriedly. Logan slowly turned to face him. His beautiful eyes all red and puffy. James' heart sunk, but opened his arms to allow Logan to hide his face in his neck. "Baby, what's wrong…?" James tried again, caressing Logan's soft brown hair.

"I'm not good enough for you." Logan sobbed harder than ever. James' heart stilled. "What?" If Logan was breaking up with him, he'd kick his ass to the Moon and back! "I'm not good enough…I'm…not…" Logan tried to pull away. James felt him move and tightened his grip, effectively pinning Logan against his chest. "You're perfect, Logan. You're everything. You're all I need." He went on, fear gripping his insides. "Don't ever say that again, Logan. I love you so much!" Logan sobbed harder.

"I'll never be able to…" Logan tried to explain himself but lost it again. "Please, Logie, please stop crying. Just… just tell me what got you like this. Please, baby, you're scaring me." Logan drew in a long breath. "…give you children." He whispered against James' neck and kept on crying. James wasn't sure he had heard right. He gently pushed Logan at arm's length to look him in the eyes.

"Logan, look at me." Logan did. His eyes red, his face red, his nose runny. "Where did that come from?" Logan shrugged. James ran a hand through his hair. How to explain to the man you love that you'd give up the world just for one single kiss from him? How to explain that you couldn't care less about having children if you had him?

"Having you is enough." Logan shook his head "no" and looked down at his own hands. "Logan. I said look at me." Logan looked up again. "I love you! Stop crying, baby. We can always adopt if we decide we want a child. Please, stop crying."

Instead of calming Logan down, James' words had the opposite effect, Logan falling into his chest once more. "See. I'm not enough. I can't give you YOUR children, James. You deserve to have children. Your own children. You need a woman…" James grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. "I will punch you in the face if you ever say that again!"

That did it. Logan instantly stopped crying. He was in shock. His loving James was scaring him a little. "You are the only person I want or will ever want by my side, to share my days and my nights with. Ever!" James hugged Logan so tight he felt his ribs crack a little. "You're everything to me, Logan. Everything."

Logan hugged James back. "I love you so much, I just want…" Logan tried but James cut him off. "I know, baby, but it's ok. I'm ok with this. I'm ok with everything, just to have you. Only you." Logan sighed. He allowed James' love to wash over him and calm him down.

When he felt Logan relax in his embrace James dared to ask "What brought this on?" Logan bit his lip. "I went shopping." James nodded. "A little girl recognized me. She was so adorable. I just…" Logan started to tear up again. A little. He controlled himself this time. "I just wondered how it would be to h-h-have a daughter like that…" James kissed Logan's neck. "She'd totally get your brain and outsmart me." James played along. "But she'd get your eyes. And your smile." James smiled at the thought.

It did sound amazing. A child made from both of them. James could almost see their little girl, running around the house, making a mess, playing him and Carlos to her every whim. "We could get a surrogate." James told Logan in a whisper. "Really?" Logan's voice was full of hope. "You'd want us to have a child?"

"Yes, Logan. I would."

Logan kissed James. Desperately. Gratefully. Lovingly.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Logan whispered against his lips.

"You were born." James hugged Logan again. The fear of losing him was now melting away, but he still needed Logan's warmth to calm himself down.

Logan let the hug go on for as long as James needed it to, he himself needing the reassurance. And then his stomach broke the magic again. "You're hungry." James - captain Obvious - stated. "Yeah."

"Lets find Carlos and go out for food?" James suggested. Logan agreed. "But we have to be back in time to pick up Kendall from the airport… what time is it, anyway?" Logan's brain function was coming back. James looked at his watch. "We still have 4 hours till we have to be at the airport."

They found Carlos talking on the phone with Stephanie. "Hang on, Steph. Yeah, guys?" He asked, putting a hand over the receiver of his phone. "We wanted to go grab a bite to eat before going to pick up Kendall from the airport. Wanna join?" James asked. Carlos shook his head "no". "Steph and I already made plans…" He said with an apologetic voice. "So, we're going on our own to pick up Kendall?" Logan asked, raising his eyebrow. "If you guys don't mind…" James sighed. Carlos did have the right to find happiness. "Yeah, sure, whatever…" He shrugged. "Say "hi" to Stephanie for us." He said as he pulled Logan out the door.

Carlos sighed as he watched them go, happy they were both ok. "Yeah. The mansion's all ours, if you want to come over…" Carlos purred in his receiver. "Oh, and the boys said to say "hi" for them." He added. "I'll be there in 10." Stephanie's voice rang clear over the phone. Carlos nodded, even though she couldn't see him. "See you." He ended the conversation, running to his room, making sure everything was squeaky clean and tidy and perfect looking for his girlfriend.

Fifteen minutes later, Stephanie was knocking at the BTR Mansion door. Carlos opened the door almost the same second, pulling her in a heated kiss even before closing the door behind her.

"Hi, boyfriend." Stephanie giggled against his lips, sending sweet little shivers down his back. "Hi, girlfriend." Carlos pecked her lips once more then just rested his forehead against hers, breathing in her sweet floral scent. The scent that made his head fuzzy. He closed his eyes a second and got lost in her scent. "You smell good." Carlos finally said. "It's the perfume you gave me." Stephanie giggled in the girly-est way possible. It made Carlos happy. The sound. It made Carlos happy.

"What were you doing before I came?" Stephanie asked when Carlos moved away, pulling her, gently, to the living room. "Waiting…" He played. "Fooor…?" She insisted. "The most beautiful girl on the planet." Carlos replied. When Stephanie visibly melted Carlos got a impish grin on his face. "But the you showed up…" Stephanie gasped and punched Carlos in the arm as hard as she could. Which wasn't hard at all, but Carlos still broke out in a light run around the couch. "You little…" Stephanie panted, laughing, running after him.

Seeing how she had no chance of outrunning her boyfriend, Stephanie decided on a simpler form of attack, she jumped over the couch, right in Carlos' chest, but catching her leg on the couch back, causing them both to fall to the ground with an "umph" from Carlos. "Ouchies…" He let out after his body settled on the hard floor.

"You deserved it!" Stephanie teased. She tried to get up, but Carlos held her there by her waist. "You know you're the most beautiful girl to me." He said seriously, looking her in the eyes. Stephanie smiled. "Then, let's get you off the floor and look at your back…I think you'll get a bruise…" She tried to push herself up, from Carlos' chest, to allow him to stand up. Carlos didn't let her move an inch.

"There's only one thing that will make me feel better." He whispered. "What?" Stephanie asked in the same low voice. Carlos simply locked their lips together, his heart beating at 100 miles per hour under Stephanie's gentle touch. She didn't fight him, just answered his kiss with the same amount of need.

Carlos rolled her on her back, breaking their kiss so he could watch her features. Her brown hair was framing her face in such a way that it almost looked like an angel's halo. Carlos supported his weigh on his arms while looking down at the beauty in front of him. Stephanie just smiled and caressed Carlos' face.

When he kissed her again it tasted differently. It tasted right. It wasn't heated or demanding, just a slow movement that drove Carlos crazy. It went right to his groin. He felt himself grow hard and blushed without control. He moved his hips higher so Stephanie wouldn't catch on.

They'd been dating for a few weeks, almost two months. Carlos wanted more, but he didn't want to push. He respected Stephanie too much to do that. Lately it had gotten harder and harder for him to wait. His dreams were getting away from him and mornings were harder to take in when he seemed to wake up more and more in soiled undergarments. Yet, still, he waited. Carlos thought it was only normal for him to do so. His mom had taught him a long time ago that women are to be respected and treated like precious china. And his momma was always right. So Carlos waited. And waited. And moved his hips away when he had to. Every time. He gently broke their kiss and pulled Stephanie to her feet.

Stephanie felt him move away. She felt the reason why. She was a bit confused. She knew it wasn't the first time that this had happened. She had hoped for Carlos to take charge and get them to the next step of their relationship. She knew she wasn't his first girlfriend - he wasn't her first boyfriend either - he had to know what to do. She knew he liked her that way. She could feel it in his kisses. And yet… Yet Carlos pulled away. _"Not this time." She thought with determination. She was desperate for his warmth, his touch, his kisses. She wanted it all, not just half of…him!_

Carlos gently guided her to the couch and sat down. Before he could pull her beside him, Stephanie saddled his legs, sitting right on top of his crotch, feeling his need for her. She knew he'd get the point sooner or later. The heat radiating from her could not be mistaken, not even by her sweet innocent Carlos.

Carlos' eyes went open wide, as big as saucers, but he didn't have time to react as Stephanie bent down and kissed his lips roughly, her hands tangling in his raven hair. A moan escaped his lips when Stephanie took control of his mouth, rolling her hips on top of him. His hands were hovering half an inch away from her back, not sure weather or not he should touch her, knowing that, if he did, he would no longer be able to control himself.

Another little move of Stephanie's hips on him and Carlos felt like coming. His hands rested on her waist, trying to still her, but when she moaned his name, in between kisses, Carlos' hands found their own way to Stephanie's ass, squeezing, kneading, touching, doing whatever they wanted to.

Stephanie smiled at her triumph. If she would have known Carlos only wanted her to make the first move, she would have done so weeks ago! She moved her mouth to his neck, kissing, nibbling, licking, making Carlos moan. She loved the sounds he emitted under her touches and kisses.

"Steph…" Carlos panted. "We need to stop…"

"Why, Los?"

"I won't be able to later…"

"So?"

Carlos looked in Stephanie's brown eyes. Something had changed. There was a new spark inside of them. Carlos licked his lips.

"I don't want to push you…" Carlos groaned when Stephanie replied with a nicely placed movement of her hips.

"I want it all. I want you to make love to me." Stephanie told him without hesitation, her heart racing at the speed of light, in time with Carlos', beating erratically under the palm of her left hand.

"Steph…" Carlos tried, his voice hoarse with lust.

"I'm sure." Stephanie replied.

"Not here…" Carlos finally managed to get out. Stephanie nodded and got off his lap, on shaky legs. Carlos steadied her and pulled her up in his arms, carrying her to his bedroom. Stephanie smiled and cradled her head in the crook of Carlos' neck, her arms wrapping around his neck.

When he reached his huge water bed, Carlos placed Stephanie down on her feet, right next to it. "No shoes on my bed." He looked her in the eyes. "Especially not heals." When Stephanie raised an eyebrow at him Carlos explained. "Water bed." Stephanie giggled. "Of course. It's so you."

Carlos blushed as Stephanie sat down gingerly, trying to keep the watery mass under her as still as possible while she took off her sandals. The straps were giving her a bit of trouble, but, then Carlos kneeled in front of her covering her small hands with his. She looked in his eyes and allowed him to take off her shoes. As he did, Carlos placed gentle kisses on her feet. To her ankles and back. To her knees and back. On her lips.

Stephanie shivered under the gentle touch of Carlos' fingers trailing up her legs. She melted in Carlos' kiss and allowed him complete control over her body. Her hands moved up Carlos' arms, to his neck, tangling gently in his hair.

No words left their lips, just soft breaths, little moans of pleasure as their fingers traced special spots on their body. Carlos was the most gentle of men and his water bed made it easy for them to move as one. Stephanie reached her very first orgasm without knowing, tumbling over the edge, right in Carlos' arms who followed her, grunting her name in the crook of her neck.

As Carlos came down from his high he felt grateful that his water bed allowed him to remain on top of Stephanie without squishing her. Carlos gently moved by her side. Stephanie sighed and cuddled in his embrace.

"Thank you." She whispered, kissing his chest, right above his heart. Carlos smiled. "What for, girlfriend?" Stephanie blushed deep. She was thankful that Carlos had his cheek on the top of her head and would not be able to see how embarrassingly red she had turned. "My first orgasm." She smiled.

Carlos gasped out loud, pride invading every cell in his body. "Steph… really?" She simply nodded against his chest, hearing the giggle inside of him. "Wow. My pleasure. Anytime, milady!". Stephanie flicked his nipple. "Stop teasing."

Carlos lifted her chin and kissed her lips. "Wanna try see if I can do that again?" He asked playfully. "Emm… yes?" Stephanie answered, locking their lips together as best she could, due to Carlos' ear-to-ear smile.

Sitting at the airport waiting area James saw Logan fidget, a complete bundle of nerves. "Loges, what's wrong?" He tried to move closer to his boyfriend, but Logan just back up a little step. "Paparazzi…" Logan mouthed before giving him a fake little smile. James grunted and closed his eyes under his aviator sunglasses. "What's wrong?" He asked again, sticking his hands deep in his jeans pockets and leaning against the wall behind him.

"I'm…just worried…how…he'll react…" James lowered his sunglasses a little. "He'll be ok with it." James stated and shrugged, pushing his glasses back up. Logan wasn't reassured.

When they announced Kendall's flight had landed Logan almost jumped - that's how scared he really was. James saw right through him. Knowing someone for literally all your life will give you a bit of an insight. He sighed and carelessly flung his arm around Logan's neck. "Relax." He whispered.

Logan looked up. James' scent and warmth were making him feel somewhat better. His body actually followed James' order and he stopped fidgeting, but his mind was another story. They saw Kendall's honey hair over the crowd and Logan's heart sped up. "Relax! We'll tell him at home…" James whispered and let go of Logan to hug Kendall tightly.

"Dude! I've missed you!" James told Kendall, ruffling his hair. Kendall growled a little "I haven't missed you - especially when you do this!" He shoved James in the ribs, playfully. "Logie!" Logan grinned and welcomed Kendall's hug. "Two weeks is too long, dude!" Logan replied, tip-toe-ing a little to hug Kendall properly.

_"He so is the girl!" James thought and smiled at the sight in front of him before throwing Kendall's bags in the trunk of his jeep._

"Where's Carlos?" Kendall asked, looking around a little. "Home. With Stephanie." James and Logan answered as one.

"You two spend too much time together." Kendall joked, not knowing even the half of it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's notes: **

**Here comes Kendall's reaction and a bit of an information on Logan.**

**Don't kill me - everything has a purpose! Bare with me, ok? :))**

**Thank you for your support and beautiful reviews! And to the Guest that told me Logan is too girly - bare with me, everything has a reason. I promise!**

**Hope you'll keep sharing your thoughts with me. I LOVE to get reviews! So, don'tshy away from reviewing - PWWWWEEASSE! **

**Love.**

* * *

"You two spend too much time together." Kendall joked, not knowing even the half of it.

For the few seconds that followed time seemed to have slowed down for Kendall. His hockey-developed high level of observing everything around him slowing things down as his brain processed the information.

James moved from the back of his jeep, opening the passenger door. Logan moved from Kendall's now loose hug to enter the jeep with a bit of a smile. James closed the door as Logan settled in and went around the car to get in the driver's seat.

Kendall gawked. Usually he got shotgun in James' jeep. And usually everyone opened their own door. What the…? Kendall's eyebrows went up, meeting his hair line as his jaw fell a little realizing what was going on. He got in the jeep with a huge smirk on his face. He needed to have a talk with his friends. Yet, the jeep wasn't the most private of places. Oh! He could not WAIT to get home!

"You're not opening MY door?" He teased James as he jumped in the middle of the back seat - so he could have a good view of both of his friends. Logan went beet red. James turned to him. "Nope." He replied nonchalantly. Logan remained frozen, looking RIGHT in front of him, his hands folded on his lap. Kendall smirked and refrained from teasing further, for poor Logan's sake.

The drive home seemed too dang long. The only one who seemed to not care was James. He kept interrogating Kendall about his trip and Jo and everything he could think of. He kept his best friend and his love as distracted as he could and sighed inwardly as he pulled up in the BTR mansion garage, knowing he wouldn't be able to postpone the inevitable anymore.

As soon as the car was parked, Kendall jumped out, grabbing a couple of bags and bursting inside with the force of a full hurricane. He froze when he saw Stephanie on the living room couch in nothing but one of Carlos' many purple T-shirts. She squeaked and covered herself with a couch pillow, turning redder than red. "Hi, Kendall, welcome home." She said in a small voice. "Hi, Steph…" Kendall smiled awkwardly.

Just then Carlos came out of his bedroom, in a pair of blue boxer briefs and nothing else. Kendall saw his smile widening. "KENDALL!" He screamed out loud. Kendall only had time to drop his bags and utter a little "Car-umph!" as he found himself on the receiving end of one of Carlos' signature break-your-bones-bear hugs that made Kendall lose his footing and end up on the floor, with Carlos on top of him. "Hi.." Kendall let out with a small breath. "I missed you!" Carlos told him, still not letting go.

"Dude! He can't breathe!" James said, laughing as he stepped over Kendall's bags to get inside the house with the biggest of Kendall's luggage. "Carlos, we want him alive." Logan said giggling as he followed James inside the house, his hands in his pockets. Carlos gently let go - a little - just enough for Kendall to be able to draw in some air, but he still didn't let go completely.

Stephanie just stood there, terrified and in awe. Terrified that all of her boyfriend's best buddies will now see her half naked and in awe over her almost naked boyfriend being on top of Kendall, resembling, maybe, a baby koala, or a monkey - she wasn't sure which exactly. "Hi, Steph." Both James and Logan greeted her at the same time. "Hi, guys." She tried to smile through her embarrassment.

"Don't worry about those two." James said walking to Kendall's bedroom. "Yeah…Carlos won't be letting go soon." Logan finished James' idea, picking up one of Kendall's forgotten bags and following James to their friend's room. Stephanie sighed. She really wanted to get off the couch, but the T-shirt she had on was a bit small-ish. Her butt was almost hanging out. She blushed deeper. This was SO beyond embarrassing. Good thing neither of them had made her feel worse than she was already feeling. She looked back at Carlos - yup - koala baby, she decided.

"Carlos…could we, please, get off the floor?" Kendall asked, half amused. "Fine…" Carlos caved and let go of Kendall long enough for him to stand, before he jumped on his back, yelling "Piggy-back!". Kendall giggled and ran inside the living room, passed a very stunned Stephanie right out to the pool and jumped in, clothes, shoes and all. Stephanie's jaw fell. She forgot about her half-naked state and began to laugh, holding her belly, as both Kendall and Carlos popped out of the water and began splashing like kids.

James and Logan came back in. "Piggy-back?" Logan asked her knowingly. "Yup." She answered, trying to calm herself down. "We do that sometimes…" James tried to justify his friends. Stephanie said nothing. She was very much aware of their childish sides. "Here." Logan said, stepping from behind James, pushing a pair of shorts - most likely his - in her hands. Stephanie blushed so hard she felt her face burn. "Th-th-thank you, Logan." She finally managed and slipped the pants on as James and Logan went for drinks in the kitchen.

When she was dressed she heard another "piggy-back" yell and James zoomed past her, carrying Logan in his back only to splash in the pool and join the fun. Again - clothing and shoes were not an issue to be concerned with. Stephanie laughed at the four acting like children, splashing around. She shook her head and found her way to Carlos' bathroom, getting four towels out of the cupboard Carlos had shown her just 10-15 minutes before.

She took the towels out on one of the chaise-longs by the pool side then made her way to the kitchen. "Usually, kids get hungry after playing around in the pool." She whispered to herself as she got out the ingredients she'd need to make them some grilled cheese sandwiches and a little salad.

Twenty minutes later she was done, feeling all motherly and warm on the inside. She went to the pool. "I made grilled cheese - who wants!?" She only poked her head out the sliding door. "ME!" They all yelled as one, fighting to get out of the pool first. "You can dry yourselves up a little first, then change clothes and THEN come eat!" She went back inside.

"Look at your girl, all demanding and such!" James teased Carlos. "Shut up." Carlos blushed. "I love that…" He got a towel and went straight to the kitchen as he dried himself off. "Mmmmm…something smells divine." Stephanie smiled. "Go get changed, honey." She accepted the little kiss Carlos placed on her cheek. "But I have the towel…" He whined. "Clean, fresh, dry clothing or no food." She pulled the plate away from Carlos' greedy fingers. "Hey! No fair!" Carlos pouted. "Go. Now." Carlos hung his head then got an idea. He untied his towel, dropped his underwear and strutted naked to his room, swaying his ass a little. Stephanie's eyes widened. She unconsciously licked her lips. "He's gonna be the death of me." She mumbled when Carlos disappeared in his own room, shaking her head, trying to get the delicious image out of her mind.

Logan was the first to come to the table. "I'm SO hungry! I think I could eat a horse!" Stephanie giggled. "I don't have a horse. Will a couple of sandwiches do?" Logan nodded. "Yeah - for now!" He smiled wide when he had a couple of sandwiches fill his plate and a salad bowl in front of him. He filled it to the brim and then some before getting up with a happy "wooh!". Stephanie watched him almost bounce to the fridge and get out a carton of vanilla soy milk. He drank it all. Right out of the carton, threw it in the trash then got a second one out, taking that one to the table. "You want?" He asked. "It's deee-lish!" He made. "Emm..nope..I think I'm good with just water." Stephanie poured herself of plane ice cold water. "You sure? Tastes like pudding. Yummy yummy pudding." Logan poured the yellow-ish liquid in a glass. It looked…uninviting. "Yeah, I'm ok." Stephanie answered as Carlos came back and hugged her from behind.

"Who's pants are those?" He asked. "Mine." Logan answered with his mouth full. Carlos mouthed a small "thank you" which Logan acknowledged with a small nod. "Dude! You're supposed to wait for everyone to be at the table before wolfing down." Carlos scolded Logan a little. "I was hungry." He answered, unfazed, sticking a fork-full of salad in his already almost full mouth. Carlos shook his head and sat down across from Logan. Stephanie served him too. "Baby, come sit down. Jamie and Kendy can get their own food, trust me." Carlos pulled Stephanie in the chair next to his.

* * *

Kendall heard Logan and Carlos go to the kitchen so he took the chance and sneaked in James' room. "James." He called out, quietly, so his three friends in the kitchen wouldn't hear him. "Yeah?" James answered, getting out of his bathroom, a towel around his waist, another in his hands, drying his precious hair.

"I have a question."

"Shoot."

"You and Logan…"

"Yeah…?"

"Got together, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"HA!" Kendall made, jumping up, fist pumping the air. James was taken aback. "Finally!" Kendall jumped James in a Carlos-worthy hug.

"What?"

"It's been years in the making. I can't believe you two stupid asses didn't get together sooner." Kendall replied in James' chest, still hugging him stiff, as Carlos would do. "I so won! HA!"

"You what? Wait - WHAT? How.. WHAT?"

"James, you're not making sense." Kendall giggled and let go. James drew in a deep breath, ran both his hands through his hair, closing his eyes. WHAT did just happen?! He drew in another breath, opened his eyes and focused on Kendall's green gaze. Kendall looked genuinely happy for him and his Logan.

"What do you mean by "finally" and "years in the making"? And WHAT did you WIN?" James threw his hands up then let them fall besides his body.

"I mean that you both finally realized that you two were meant for one another and head over heels in love with one another. And I won the bet I had going on with Katie. She said you two would need at least another 5 years to open up to one another. I won! Ha! In you face, baby sister!" Kendall called out. "I could KISS you right now!" He told James who instantly put his hands up.

"These lips have an owner now" James made a fake-horrified face and pretend kept Kendall at arm's length. Kendall laughed. "Do you have an idea HOW LONG I've been trying to win over Katie?! And this is BIG! Huge! I won 50 bucks!" Kendall jumped up in happiness. James fake pouted.

"So Logan's and my happiness is worth 50 bucks to you two?"

"Emmm…yeah?" Kendall shrugged.

"You're so gettin' it!" James let out before he started chasing Kendall out his room, laughing, forgetting he only had a towel around his waist, forgetting Stephanie was even around. He remembered those tiny details as he saw Logan's eyes bulge out of his head and Stephanie slowly turn to see what all the noise was about.

He tried to stop, he really did, but he had a lot of speed - chasing Kendall meant you had to be at top speed - and the floor was a bit slippery and he hadn't really dried his feet properly, so James ended up skidding across the hallway, losing his balance, falling on his naked backside and skidding even further, stopping only at Stephanie's feet, by the kitchen table. Yeah - he was worthy of Looney Toones right about now.

Stephanie tried to get up to help him, but, when she pushed her chair a bit back, she hit poor James right in the balls. "OW!" He yelped, hands covering his now throbbing testicles.

Kendall saw it all from behind the couch and, even though it hurt to see just where Stephanie's chair had ended up, he doubled over, laughing. Carlos almost feel off his chair, laughing uncontrollably - that is before Logan started laughing as well and all the milk he had just drank went out - from his nose - all over Carlos' face and shirt and remaining food! That definitely caused Carlos to stop laughing, but Kendall teared up, falling on his knees, behind the couch, laughing without control.

Stephanie was in shock. She gingerly extracted herself from the table, handed Logan and Carlos tissue paper and James an ice pack. When she finally saw the mess she started to laugh as well. Carlos pouted and James gave her a harsh look. Logan got up from his chair, wiping his nose. He kneeled beside James.

"Are you ok?" He tried not to laugh. "NO! MY BALLS HURT! And my ass…" He grabbed Logan's extended hand and got up, Logan catching his towel and securing it in place. "I'm sorry you're in pain, baby, but you should have seen your face!" He started to laugh. "Yeah…Thank you…" James said in a sarcastic voice.

"Baby?" Stephanie questioned and Logan froze, his eyes darting to the couch. "That's what one normally calls their boyfriend." James answer slowly walking to his room, trying to breathe normally through the pain in his groin. Logan was left there, frozen, jaw slightly open. "Congrats." Stephanie patted him on the back and Logan gulped. "Th-thank you…" He said before he literally ran out of there, following James.

Kendall got up with an impish smirk. He winked at Carlos who understood nothing and followed the two to James' room.

"Why did you say that to Steph?" Logan questioned James, with a worried voice right when Kendall walked in the room. Logan didn't see him - he was focused on his boyfriend sitting down on their bed, trying to chase the pain away.

Before James could form a single sound Kendall was literally behind Logan, whispering in his ear. "Because good news should be shared with all your friends." Logan screamed at the top of his lungs in the girly-est way ever and jumped, his shoulder hitting Kendall's jaw, making Kendall bite his tongue. "Fuck!" Kendall let out, covering his mouth with his hand. James laughed the made a face in pain. "Serves you right!" He told Kendall. "Laughing at my pain." James hissed as he laid down on the bed.

Logan's heart settled. He turned slowly to face Kendall. "You're ok with…?"

"The two of you being a couple?" Kendall finished. When Logan nodded he answered. "Of course!" Logan couldn't hide his amazement or his happiness. "It should have happened a long - LOOOONG - time ago."

"I know, right?" Logan replied before thinking and sat down beside James. "Want something to eat..?…or more ice?" He asked, full of concern. "Ice." James answered nodding. "I'll get it." Kendall offered and left them alone.

"See, you had no reason to be scared." James smiled a little as Logan kissed his hand.

"I know. But you know I worry about everything."

"Yeah… Like a girl." Logan frowned and punched James' upper arm lightly.

"Ouchies. I'm in pain here - don't add to it." James complained.

"If I'm a girl - you're a baby."

"I can live with that." James smiled as Kendall brought him the ice and a tray of food. "Steph sent you this along with an apology about the chair…" Kendall was about to burst in more laughter, but held it back. "How's your tongue?" James asked suddenly. "Ok, why?"

"Cause I think you should bite it again!" Kendall laughed out loud and ran out of the room, leaving the two alone, to find a way to make James' pain go away. He had a few ideas but kept them to himself, as he knew better.

He found Stephanie cleaning up the mess on the kitchen table and went to help her. Carlos had gone to change again and wash his hair of the milk Logan spat..or…rather "nosed" all over him.

Carlos found them eating together and laughing over silly little stories from Kendall's trip to Jo in New Zealand. He joined them.

* * *

"You're sure you don't need the ice anymore?" Logan asked, his eyes filled with worry.

"Yes, baby, I'm fine. I'll survive, I promise." James smiled. He saw something in Logan's eyes. Something he could not place. He didn't like it. Logan sighed. "You know best…" He put the ice pack on their food tray, on his night stand and moved back to James, on the bed. James opened his arms and Logan lay down, into his hug, his back to James. "Want proof?" James asked, his voice a bit lust filled, muzzling Logan's neck. Logan let out a warm breath and closed his eyes when James' lips replaced his nose.

"Baby, it's not the best moment for this…" He tried, but felt James' erection on the back his thigh and himself getting hard as well. "Just be really quiet." James whispered and turned Logan's face to him before kissing him slowly.

Logan's blood turned to lava. Red. Hot. Thick. Burning as it ran through his every vein. "Really quiet." He said to James as he deepened their kiss and turned so that his back was flat on the bed. James moved on top of him and linked their lips again in a slower than slow kiss. Pure torture.

James' perfect mouth moved to Logan' neck, kissing every inch of exposed skin, making him burn with desire. Logan let out a sigh of pleasure, biting down on his own lips, holding every sound inside of him. His eyes drifted closed, his head buried in their pillows. "James…" He breathed out no louder than a whisper. "Shhhh.." James instructed as he pulled Logan's shirt off and threw his towel off.

Logan sat up, licking his lips at the sight of James' naked body. He placed his lips on the center of James' chest, above his heart, hands wrapping around his Grecian God torso, caressing his shoulder blades and lower to his ass. James sighed, his hands tangling in Logan's hair. "Lay back down. Let me love you." James asked of Logan, his voice low and filled with love and lust.

Logan did what he was told. James took off his shorts and underwear, looking him up and down. The milky skin shone deliciously in the dimming light of the late evening. He wanted to kiss every single inch. His hands ran up Logan's thighs, but, before he could reach where he wanted, Logan pulled him in for a kiss, by his wrists. They shared a long moment, tongues moving against one another lazily, erections moving against one another at the same maddening pace.

Logan's legs wrapped around James' waist, his hands around his neck. James' dick rubbed a little against Logan's opening, melting a bit of his worry away. He'd have to tell James eventually, just not now. He wanted to be perfect just a little longer.

James felt amazing rubbing against what he knew took him to Heaven. He moved up a little, trying to massage Logan's balls with his dick. Get him to lose his mind. Get him to allow what James wanted. What James needed. To taste Logan completely. Logan sighed in pleasure and James knew it was working. Except..something felt different than he expected. The pleasure was there, but… He moved again gaining another sigh. Yeah - something was not as he expected. Then James understood what he had seen in Logan's eyes a little while before. He knew what he had to do.

He moved his mouth lower and took Logan's nipples in his mouth, trying to distract him from where his hands where heading. He stopped his hands at Logan's waist, pulled him closer, made him arch his back in that delicious way he would do when he came. Logan sighed and mewled when James' teeth grazed against his hardened nipple. "Mmph..Jay.." He let out, fisting James' hair.

James moved even lower, his hands now on Logan's thighs. Before Logan realized, James had taken him in completely, not even having the decency to gag when deep throating him in one single take. A louder moan escaped Logan's lips, before James' fingers found their way to his mouth, quieting him down.

James kept his eyes on Logan's face while moving his head slowly up and down. He gained a little speed, swallowing around Logan, driving him insane. When he was sure Logan had lost it completely and would not fight him anymore James touched Logan's balls. Or should he say - Logan's ball. As in one. As in that's why Logan was so shy and self conscious. As in James finally understood Logan's apprehension of being naked in the boys' locker room back in high school. James closed his eyes and focused back on the task at hand. His fingers became as light as feathers contrasting his harsh movements on Logan's shaft.

Logan let a tear fall on his face. Now that James knew he would be perfect no more. He pushed the pain in his chest aside and focused on the immense pleasure James was giving him. He'd never known he was so sensitive over his ball sack. He'd never allowed anyone to touch him there. When James swallowed around him again Logan came hard. He tried to pull out of James mouth but James took him in to the base and swallowed down everything he had to give. More tears feel down Logan's face.

James worked him through his climax then moved up and pulled Logan to his chest, holding on to him as tight as he could. Logan cuddled close. "I love you, Logan." James whispered. "I love you, too."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't like talking about it."

"Why?"

"James, please, let it go. I just am like this. I can't do anything about it. Why bother thinking or talking about it?"

"Because you think less of yourself."

"Why wouldn't I? I'm…"

"Perfect." James replied, kissing the top of Logan's head. "You are perfect, Logan. In my eyes, you are pure perfection. Why won't you believe me?"

Logan looked up into James' loving hazel eyes.

"Even like this…? Incomplete?"

"You're perfect." James simply said, kissing Logan's lips.

"What did I do so right that I am worthy of you?" Logan whispered into James' sweet kiss.

"Thought I told you - you were born." James just held Logan like that, to his chest, for the longest while. Logan drifted into sleep and James watched over him until he was covered in moon light. He kept dreaming of what their future held.

James wanted a home of their own. Two kids. A dog. Maybe two. Maybe even a cat, if they would adopt a daughter and she'd want one. He wanted a big yard with swings sets and a pool and… sleep crept up on him, freezing a smile on his face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's notes:**

**Oh, wow! All the reviews! Oh my! Thank you! Kimmie - thank you for your kind words. It means a lot! Clarice, I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait a little. I'm still not quite ready to share why Logan has just one testicle. I promise I do have a reason for that - don't kill me, ok? :)**

**This chapter was supposed to be about Kendall then I got distracted and this came out. ok. Hope you like it. Love to all of you!**

* * *

In the morning Carlos took Stephanie home leaving Kendall to vege out in front of the TV for a while. He needed the peace and quiet. He needed to clear his head. Since Stephanie had been there the whole time he hadn't gotten a chance to really talk to his friends about the trip. He just told them all the funny stories, made them laugh, showed the pictures of the landscape, never mentioning the truth. He was happy no one had seen what – or, rather WHO – was missing from those pictures. He let his head fall back on the couch back with a deep sigh.

A scream ripped through the air and Kendall jumped. When his heart settled he realized who's voice that was. James must've had the time of his life. Kendall smiled at the hallway and focused on the TV again.

* * *

James woke up screaming his release, his throat sore, his body resembling a huge pile of boiled macaroni. He opened his eyes to Logan's beautiful features illuminated by the brightest smile.

"Morning." He purred, stretching his long legs.

"Morning, baby." Logan muzzled into James' neck.

"What was…that?" James asked caressing Logan's hair.

"Your "good morning" kiss?" Logan replied, more of a question than a statement. James smiled in Logan's hair.

"Do I get one of those every morning?" He asked playfully. Logan shoved James with a finger.

"No!" James pouted.

"Why? I promise I'll be good." He purred.

"We'll see… If you're really-really good, then MAYBE I'll give you a morning kiss every now and then." Logan teased making James giggle. They spent a while in bed, just cuddling, until James could really feel his legs again. It felt so good, he just didn't want to move.

* * *

By the time lunch time came around all four boys were back at the mansion, Logan cooking up a storm, James setting the table and Kendall and Carlos…well wrestling by the pool. When Logan announced he was finished with whatever dish he was making, James went to get "the kids".

"You guys told Gustavo about this, yet?" Kendall asked wolfing down his food.

"No. Only you two and Stephanie know… for now…" James asked chasing down his food with a sip of Logan's homemade lemonade. For some reason Logan wanted to cook lately. He had had weird cravings for a day or two now. James indulged him. As long as the food was tasty, why should he mind?

"You should tell him." Carlos chirped in.

"We know, Los, we know. It's just…" Logan ran a shaky hand through his hair. "I'm scared of his reaction, to tell you the truth."

"You're always scared, baby." James smiled but received a not so loving kick under the table. "Ouchies… Ok, I'll shut up! Sheesh!"

"Baby, if he thinks this is bad for our careers he'll put an end to Big Time Rush and all of our work so far would be for nothing." Logan said, placing a hand over James'. "Or worse, he'll make us break up…" James turned his hands and linked his fingers to Logan's.

"You know I won't let that happen." James reassured him, kissing his knuckles.

"You can't control Gustavo, baby, as much as you want to."

"Is that a challenge? Cause if that's a challenge, I'm so game!" James played tough, even if, on the inside he shared every single one of Logan's worries. But Logan didn't need to see that. He needed James to be strong for the both of them, so James put up a front, played it down, made fun and smiled.

"It's not a challenge, James. It's serious. I don't want to ruin this. Any of it." Logan sighed but allowed James to pull him in a sideways hug and kiss his temple.

"Stop worrying. I don't want to spend my old age next to a wrinkly old man. I'll look too good to have an old looking old guy by my side. I am The Face, after all."

Logan's jaw fell, Carlos choked on his food and Kendall smirked, trying not to do a spit take all over the table.

"You two are a blast. To think we lost years and years of this!" Kendall teased, addressing his statement to Carlos who choked on his food again and had to get a sip of water. "Yeah. I mean… Seeing them cuddle just makes you all warm and fuzzy on the inside." Carlos kept the game up.

Logan stuck his tongue out. James smirked. Carlos make kissy faces and hugged himself. Kendall looked around the table at his friends. All of them had found love. Suddenly he felt very sad. He hung his head between his shoulders and sighed.

"Jo broke up with me." He said, barely audible. All three of his friends suddenly quieted down. "What?" Carlos reacted first. Kendall didn't find the strength to say it again, he just nodded. Carlos moved his chair closer to Kendall's, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, man." He whispered. Kendall nodded again.

"Why?" Logan simply asked from across the table. Kendall sighed and took a deep breath.

"When I got there… it just… wasn't the same. I mean… we had fun but her kisses were not the same." Kendall sighed again. "She's in love. With the screenplay writer. I think I knew it even before I got there… I'm grateful she did tell me to my face…"

"Kendall…" Carlos tried to convey his feeling but found himself tongue tied.

"It's not that bad. I did get to see New Zealand."

"When did Jo break up with you exactly?" Of course Logan would catch on.

"My third day there…"

"You spent two weeks on your own?!" James exploded. "That BITCH!"

"James, don't speak of her that way…"

"Baby…" Logan placed his hand on James' thigh.

"Who does that? Who makes someone fly half way across the world and then breaks up with them for a stupid screenplay writer?" James shouted.

"Jo." Kendall replied without hesitation. He was grateful of how protective James was of him, Carlos and Logan – especially Logan, but now it was too late and very unneeded. What Kendall needed now was to forget about it all and find someone else who'd look past shallow first impressions and love him for his heart.

"James, it's too late to get angry now." Carlos stepped in with surprising maturity. "Kendall doesn't need reminding." He turned to look at Kendall. "He needs a boys' night out." He smirked and Kendall mirrored him. "Alcohol, dancing and girls." Carlos wiggled his eyebrows.

"What will Stephanie say?" Logan asked.

"I'll explain we need to catch up. She'll understand. She's a good girlfriend." Carlos smiled but caught himself when he saw the hurt in Kendall's eyes. Kendall quickly shook it off.

"So, tonight… getting drunk?" James asked, looking at Logan with a know-it-all look in his eyes.

"Never again." Logan smiled. "Already got what I wanted." James smiled in return.

"Don't you just hate it when couples have secret conversations you understand nothing of?" Carlos asked Kendall a lot louder than he should.

"We do need to tell you how we ended up a couple…" James said.

"No, WE DON'T!" Logan cut him off. "That's PRIVATE!"

"Baby, we don't have secrets from one another." James teased.

"Yeah, bay-beeh" Carlos and Kendall added.

"Oh, shut up! I'm never drinking again!"

"Awesome! Designated driver!" Carlos pumped the air as he got off the chair to go call Stephanie and cancel their plans for the evening, praying to every saint he had ever heard of that she would not be mad and understand the need for a guys' night without having to share Kendall's pain with her. He knew he could trust her, but you just don't break a guy's trust.

* * *

Carlos came back half hour later, a little deflated, but with a smile on his face.

"How'd she take it?" James asked.

"Good. I guess." Carlos sighed. "She's not happy, but she understood… I think…" Carlos scratched behind his head. "Girls are hard to read…"

"She's cool." Logan tried to be there for Carlos.

"You're so lucky!" Carlos told James, looking up into his eyes. "You get a guy…" He kept rambling, his arm flailing around in the general direction where Logan stood behind James. "… a guy you've known like ALL your life. You know him. Know how he thinks. Understand him. His needs. But me? No! Me? I get a girl! I have to guess what she wants and needs and stuff… it's tiring!" Carlos flopped down on the couch with an "umph".

Logan had no idea what to do or say. Carlos did not have outbursts like this. Not usually. James, on the other hand, smirked and sat down next to Carlos, flinging an arm around his Latino friend.

"Girls aren't that complicated, Los. They just want attention. And time. Maybe a flower or some candy, every now and then. And their doors opened for them…" James trailed off, looking up at Logan who puffed and rolled his eyes.

"I am not a girl…" He mumbled under his breath, but let it go, for Carlos' sake.

Carlos sighed. "I'll remember that…" He stood up with a little jump and patted his head twice before he noticed his helmet was not there and ran to his bedroom without a single word to search for it. As soon as Carlos left Logan folded his arms across his chest.

"I am not a girl!" Logan told James with a stern tone of voice.

"You so are." James giggled, stepping right in front of Logan, looking down into his eyes, hugging his waist.

"What exactly makes me "the girl"?" Logan fought himself and kept his stern tone of voice.

"Weeell… You like it when I open the door for you, you cook and worry all the time…" James rubbed his nose against Logan's.

"It's normal for a boyfriend to be chivalrous. I want a good meal. And I've always worried about everything. That's who I am! And that does NOT make me a girl!"

James let out a little laugh that melted Logan's bones. "Yes, it does, baby. Yes, it does." James kissed his lips lovingly. Logan replied to his kiss before he could stop himself. "But I love you, just the way you are." James sighed happily as Logan finally caved and snuggled to his chest, hugging him back.

"You're lucky I love you." Logan did his best at a retort.

"I know, Logie, I know. I'm the luckiest man alive."

"EEEEEEWWWWW!" Carlos' voice rang from the hallway. "I thought I told you guys no being all cute and couple-y around me!" Instead of an actual reply James chuckled and brought Logan's face up, kissing his lips gently.

"Awwwww." Kendall made from behind Carlos.

"So, Kendy, where you wanna go tonight? We should make a reservation, right?" Carlos asked as Logan pulled apart and cuddled to James' chest once more.

"I was thinking we could go to that dubstep place that opened up the month before I left… I don't think we'll get too many fans there…"

"I'll make the call." Carlos offered.

* * *

Carlos managed to get them the best table in the place. He always managed to do that. You'd never know by just looking at him, but sweet, innocent Carlitos got his way – always and with everyone.

Logan got under the bodyguard's skin and made sure he didn't allow any paparazzi in. Apparently the guy was gay and fell for Logan's smile. James almost blew his lid off with jealousy seeing Logan flirt shamelessly. It was Logan's little way of paying his Grecian God back for calling him a girl – by acting just like a girl. Yeah – not Logan's best plan ever, but effective nevertheless. He loved to see James get all possessive, claiming his "territory". If he would have been a cat, Logan would have purred in happiness.

Kendall sat his ass down as soon as the waiter got them settled in, ordering up half the bar. He wanted to get drunk and forget. He wanted to dance. Find a random girl and grind up against her through the mist of alcohol. He trusted Carlos with finding the right girl. Carlos always found the right girl – just not for himself. Kendall sighed.

James dropped on the couch next to Kendall looking like he could kill someone. He ordered a glass of whiskey. If Logan wanted to flirt with some random bodyguard, he'd make Logan take care of him through his hangover. Yup – perfect retaliation. Make Logan worry! He does that anyway. James sulked. Tonight was supposed to be fun, yet there he was, feeling abandoned by the man he loved.

The waiter brought Kendall and James' drinks. They clinked and drowned down the first glass in one single gulp, slamming the gasses on the waiter's tray, asking for round two. The waiter did as he was told, taking his bug-eyes with him.

Carlos came back, bouncing on his feet. "I just saw the cutest girl for you, Kendy. She about my height, really dark hair, with blue highlights and this tight – TIGHT – little umph" Carlos yelled over the music, moving his hands in the air as if tracing a girl's shape. "Carlos, man, you're a pig!" James giggled a little, without wanting. "Maybe, but I'm an efficient pig." Carlos stuck a finger in the air for emphasis. "Come on Kendy, let's get you a girl!" He grabbed Kendall's wrist, dragging him to the dance floor to find the "target", leaving James to sulk on his own, watching Logan STILL talking, flirting with that bodyguard.

Logan sensed James' eyes on him. He pretended to laugh at something the stupid bodyguard said and touched the man's heavily tattooed and overgrown bicep. Yeah, Logan was a bit disgusted with himself, but, revenge was oh, so sweet. Two minutes later the guy had to go back to his work and Logan turned, with a huge smile on his face, to his James.

James was just drowning another glass of whiskey when Logan walked up to him, sitting close, but not close enough. James growled low into his glass. Logan's smile – the smile that other guy had put on his face – was annoying James. It had to go away. It had to be replaced by a smile that James had made come to life.

James leaned in. "Come with me!" He demanded. Logan got a shiver down his spine. He nodded and followed James to the club's bathroom. James made sure they were alone then locked the door. Logan swallowed hard.

"You were flirting." James stood in front of Logan, effectively pinning him between the sink and his rather large and quite frankly delicious body. "I made sure no paparazzi are being allowed inside tonight…" Logan defended himself. "You touched his bicep." James growled. Logan shrugged. "You touched him." James was turning red in the face.

"James, you're overreacting. Really." Logan was enjoying every second of this. James' possessiveness was delicious to him. He felt loved. "I am not. You were flirting with another man in front of my eyes and I could do nothing about it because people think I'm fucking straight!" James whisper-shouted in Logan's face. Logan was taken aback. "You… you…" he mumbled.

"I can't stand this. You're mine, Logan. Mine!" He suddenly hugged Logan to his chest. "No one can touch you. Make you laugh. Flirt with you. You're mine!" James hick-up-ed ruining the moment, making Logan laugh out loud. "What?" James pouted.

"The night barely started and you're drunk."

"Seeing you flirt with some stupid random guy makes me do that."

"James, you know you're the only one for me." Logan snuggled closer into James.

James sighed in happiness, closing his eyes. "I feel woozy."

"Want me to take you home now?"

"It's for the best." James hick-up-ed again. "Promise me."

"What?"

"Promise me you'll never do that again."

"What?"

"Make me jealous like that."

"If you don't call me a girl again, I won't have to act like one."

"Ok."

"Ok."

"Then promise."

Logan giggled and looked in James' eyes. "I promise. As long as you won't call me a girl again, I won't make you jealous ever again."

"Good enough for me." James smiled. "Take me home?"

"Yeah. But you gotta let go and we gotta get out of the bathroom first. Then tell Carlos and Kendall.." Logan shoved James away the tiniest bit.

"Now you're pushing me away.." James was trashed.

"How much did you drink, baby?"

"Only five glasses…"

"In 15 minutes?" Logan yelped. James replied with yet another hick-up, raising a hand to cover his mouth. "Ugh, James…Take a step back…let me take you home…to bed..."

"Mmmm to beeeed…" James wiggled his eyebrows, trying to look sexy.

"Yeah – to bed. To sleep!"

James pouted, but moved aside and allowed Logan to pull him out of the bathroom, in search of Carlos and Kendall. They found them grinding against two rocker looking girls. Logan cringed a little on the inside. He kept a tight hold on James' wrist as he tapped Carlos' shoulder. He didn't want to bother Kendall, who's tongue was most likely doing the lambada down the girl's throat.

"Los, taking James home. He's drunk already. Call a cab?" Carlos nodded and returned to his dancing. When Logan tried to move, tugging at James' wrist, he felt pulled back. He turned his face only to see another rocker girl grinding against James. His James. He growled, pulled James wrist to catch his attention. James turned his head. His body stiff as a rock, a fake smile on his face.

Logan pulled at his boyfriend's wrist again. James moved to follow him, the girl clinging to his neck. Logan saw her actions and turned green. He moved to her ear. "My friend and I were just leaving" The bitch smirked at him. "I'm dancing with your friend. You can leave on your own, if you want."

Logan didn't know how to react. He'd never been on the receiving end of a girl's bitchiness. He'd usually been – well – usually means like two times, but, who's counting? – the reason of the bitchiness between girls. Oh, no! James had been right. He was the girl! Ok, so be it!

"Listen hoe! Get your filthy paws off my man or I will scalp you!" He let out in a hiss.

"Faggot! Get away!" She shoved Logan in the chest. James wanted to kill her, but, before he could even react, Logan got a fistful of the bitch's hair and pulled her off James. "Didn't ya mamma teach you not to use those words?"

When the girl lashed back James put his body between the two of them, holding the girl by her shoulders, at arm's length. Which was quite a distance, considering the length of James' arms. "Go get your friend." James told Logan, over his shoulder. Logan understood and found the bodyguard he had previously flirted with. The guy was more than happy to see him again, thinking Logan had interest in him. He kind of deflated when he heard the reason why Logan had actually come to find him, but he threw the offensive girl out of the place anyway.

"He's your boyfriend, isn't he?" The bodyguard asked Logan referring to James. Logan simply nodded, blushing a little, in a very girly fashion. "If he ever does you wrong… or you feel like you need a change… you know where to find me." The bodyguard whispered in Logan's ear and gently, but respectfully kissed Logan's cheek.

Logan blushed again. The guy was completely unattractive to Logan. Even smelled bad. But being seen like an object of desire made Logan purr on the inside. He looked at James. He was green again. Logan found himself smiling as he crossed the distance between them.

"What did HE want?"

"He asked if you were my boyfriend. I said you are. He said good-bye."

"And kissed you."

"On the cheek, yes."

"Ugh." James rolled his eyes. Logan smiled so wide his cheeks hurt. "Just take me home." James almost stampeded his way out of the club. As he left, Logan waved goodbye to the nice bodyguard.

All the way home James kept silent. When they got home he model-walked-away right into the bedroom. Logan sighed locking the doors behind them. He found James already in his underwear, getting in bed.

"James?"

"What!?"

"How's your head?"

James let out a sound and got under the covers. Logan smiled and undressed. He got under the covers, hugged James too his chest. James tried to move away, but Logan didn't allow him to.

"You promised."

"I did nothing James. The man just asked a question. I didn't flirt, baby. I didn't break my promise, love. I'd never do that to you."

"It hurts."

"I know, baby. But I'm here. With you. Only you. I love you. Only you. Always you, James. Always…" Logan whispered in James' ear. James sighed.

"I know you love me, Logie, it's just…" James turned to face Logan.

"You know you're my first, right? My only…"

"Really? Your first?"

"Yes, James. My first. You're the only one I ever wanted. The only one I'll ever want. No matter how many women or men walk in front of me, no one will ever compare to you. My friend, my love, my everything."

James teared up. He never knew how Logan could just say the right thing at the right time. Not just the past few days since they'd been together, but even as children. Logan always knew what to say and when to say it to make James feel like the king of the world. The best part was that Logan never lied either.

James kissed Logan. A simple, loving kiss. Logan melted into the kiss, his hand resting on top of James' chest as he kept hovering over his love.

As their kiss ended with a simple peck on the lips James pulled Logan's forehead to his lips.

"You smell like home to me." Logan said.

"So… your home is Cuda man products?" James smiled against Logan's forehead.

"You're still sober enough to crack wise ass jokes. Maybe I should bring you another drink?"

"No, cause then you'd have to move and this feels too good."

"That it does." Logan shifted his weight a little so that he rested the upper half of his body on James' torso, his cheek on James' shoulder, his fingers linked to James'. It didn't take long for James to drift asleep.

Logan watched his sleep, his heart growing with love. The moonlight danced on James' features as a cloud moved out of the way. Logan touched his beautiful face, his fingers as light as feathers.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Logan whispered to the beauty next to him. James' answer rang loud and clear in his hear _"You were born"._ Logan smiled without control. He chose to spend the night watching James sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's notes:**

**I can not get over how many ideas are blooming inside of me for Jagan. I'm kind of spending my time writing it all, trying to finish this story before the year end, while I still have time to put it all on paper.**

**Again thank you Kimmie for your your support and reviews. You're a total doll!**

**Love to all my readers. Please please please don't shy away from sharing your opinion with me 3  
**

* * *

The last day of vacation flew by in a blur of headaches – for James, Carlos and Kendall – and mothering them back to health – for poor Logan. He had to run between the three rooms of his best friends' and his boyfriend. That lasted a while until Logan got tired and ushered them all on the living room couch. Which turned out to be a bad idea as James was irrationally jealous when Logan tended to Carlos or Kendall, Carlos kept whining he didn't have enough leg room, because James was too big and Kendall ended up just crying. Logan wanted to kill them all and be done with it!

None of the remedies he knew of worked on getting them sober again, and they couldn't sleep anymore so Logan gave up and locked himself in his room. In his old room, where he had a lock and he could research all he needed to.

He found the weirdest of drinks to get rid of hangovers. Only the thought of mixing fish and pickles and sour cream with soy oil in a blender made Logan's stomach churn in disgust. Other mixtures were just as awful. He had to take a few moments to calm his stomach down. He finally decided that simpler things had better effect – sauerkraut didn't sound that bad. He went shopping, tip-toeing around when he saw that FINALLY all of them had fallen asleep.

Their normal shop didn't have any pickles. At all. Logan sighed. Figures! He now had to go to the mall, be recognized, take pictured and smile pretty for all the fans. What doesn't a true friend do?

He put on a brave, happy, careless face as he parked his car in the mall parking lot, throwing on his bug-eye sunglasses. He locked the car over his shoulder, feeling stupid as he did so, but it was expected of him to be suave and full of himself, so, he pretended. He walked inside the mall with his head held high, his walk slow, as if he hadn't had one single care in the world. He knew where to go, but he couldn't go straight there, so he went into a stupid shoe shop. Smiled and laughed and pretended for the nice sails lady. Of course she wanted and got a picture and a "free sample" pair of sneakers that was SO NOT his style, but, maybe, Carlos would like? Logan shrugged. Fame did have its perks, just not right now!

He strutted a little longer then made his way – slowly! – into the shop he wanted. He pretended to look at a couple of things, asked the shop assistant about foreign foods, bought a whole bunch of crap and a big jar of sauerkraut. Finally! He left the shop with a couple of bags of his own shopping and another one of "gift samples". God only knew what all those things were! Logan was just grateful to be out of there.

He kept his fake smirk on – the crooked one, that fans swooned over – and made a bee line for his car. His "short" shopping trip had taken the best part of three hours. Logan sighed. He spotted a car following him – a paparazzo he'd grown accustomed with by now – so he stopped at some random clothing store he saw on his way home and posed for pictures, buying himself a new shirt. He figured why not get something nice out of all of this insanity.

"Hey, Michael!" he nodded to the paparazzo when he went back to the car. "Hey, Logan! What's going on?" The guy asked snapping a picture. Logan put on a show, smirked and waved at the camera as another flash…well…flashed! Logan wanted to groan but held it back. "Nothing, man, just getting stuff, you know..." Another flash. "Getting ready for a date?" Michael asked, nosy as ever. "Neah, just felt like getting something new." Logan shrugged. He really did like his new shirt. Another flash went off as he got into his car, still managing to keep his smile on. The paparazzo had gotten his material; Logan now knew he could go home. And that's what he did, worry eating at his insides.

When he walked in the living room Logan barely held himself back from laughing out loud. Kendall had stolen all the covers, resembling something of a cocooned larva, only his face left out of the covers, his head resting on Carlos' right hand as if it were his own private pillow.

Carlos had somehow managed to end up on top of both James and Kendall, sleeping across both of his friends, his head on Kendall's covered belly, his feet splattered all over James, his left knee in James' face.

And James – his James – had taken over half the couch, his legs opened wide, his arms cradling Carlos' bended leg as if it were the most precious of babies, holding it tight to his chest.

Logan giggled and – on a whim – took a picture. He'd use it later as leverage should either of them say or do anything he might not agree with. He moved to his bedroom to drop off the shirt and sneakers but a snore came from the couch and Logan ran at top speed since he could not control his laughter anymore.

He left his shopping and changed his clothes. That gave him enough time to compose himself. He went back to the kitchen, got out the sauerkraut and struggled with opening it. He managed to do so without getting the "juices" all over himself. The smell made his nose crinkle. It wasn't pleasant. Yet, somehow, for some stupid reason, his mouth watered. He tried a little bit of cabbage. It really was good. That's how the smell became acceptable to him.

Apparently the others didn't agree, waking up grunting, calling his name, asking what that awful stench was. He laughed and made them all drink some of the liquid. They all acted like children, made Logan put his foot down. James obeyed in the first try, but Logan found himself having to hold Carlos' nose and pour the drink down his throat the way Momma Garcia had to when they were kids and Carlos absolutely refused to take his dreaded couch syrup. Kendall drank his portion when he saw what had happened to Carlos and Logan was happy he didn't have to go through that again, seeing as he now had a lovely new bruise on his ribs from Carlos' lovely, sharp Latino elbow.

Half hour later all three of them were feeling like themselves again. Finally Logan could relax. He announced he was putting his feet up and taking over the TV and shooed them all away. After having to pretend for half a day and taking care of CHILDREN the other, Logan needed some time for himself.

"Baby, you want something to eat?" James asked him after a little while, leaning in over the couch back. "Yeah…actually I would. Make me something?" Logan purred, letting his head rest on James' forearm.

"Turkey?"

"Yeah…and get me some of that sauerkraut I bought today too."

"Emm…yeah…ok…" James kissed Logan's forehead. Logan closed his eyes and allowed James to move away.

Soon James was back with a plate full of turkey, toast and chopped sauerkraut. Logan dug in happily and asked for seconds, which James indulged, seeing as Logan had been taking care of him and Carlos and Kendall all day long.

"I'm still worried about tomorrow." Logan told James as he followed his boyfriend into the kitchen to wash the dishes. "I know, baby. Honestly, Gustavo's reaction to us worries me a little, but…" James shrugged putting the dishes in the dish washer. "We'll handle it." He finished, standing up.

"Baby, but what if…" Logan bit his lower lip. James walked up to him, took his hand and kissed his knuckles. Logan smiled. "Breaking up is not an option. Either us or the band. I'll fight him every step of the way." James assured him and Logan nodded.

* * *

When they all walked into Rocque Records the next morning Logan's heart was as big as a flea. James' as well, but he kept laughing and goofing off with Carlos, just as if it would have been a normal day.

"DOGS!" Gustavo shouted when he saw them. "Gustavo!" Carlos called and literally jumped in the fat man's arms, giving him as big a hug as he could. "You lost weight! My arms almost go around you now!" Carlos noticed happily when he was letting go.

"I've made him work out." Kelly told them, coming in from Gustavo's office, carrying her usual map. "Kelly!" Carlos yelled and pounced on her, hugging her close, spinning her around. Kelly laughed. "Put me down!" She giggled while the other three boys shook hands and hugged Gustavo as well.

Carlos finally put Kelly down so that the others could hug her as well. When all the pleasantries were done, Logan hung his head. James saw him and flung an arm around his neck. "Gustavo, we have something to tell you." James said, bravely. It was better to get it out of the way sooner rather than later. Logan sighed and met Gustavo's eyes. "What is it, dog?"

"Can we go to your office?" Logan asked, shyly, somehow hiding under James' arm, into his side. Gustavo lifted an eyebrow over his green bug eye sunglasses. "Maybe it would be better." Kelly suggested – always the peace keeper.

Gustavo walked in first – no regard to being a gentleman towards Kelly, as always – and took his seat. Kelly stood behind him, as she normally did and the boys sat down on the couch in front of Gustavo's desk. Logan couldn't sit though, he was too nervous.

"What is it, dog?!" Gustavo snapped at him when he saw Logan could not open his mouth. Logan looked at James. James nodded. He sensed Logan needed to do this. Logan needed to tell Gustavo on his own. "WEEEELL!?" Logan nodded to James and turned, stiff as a statue, to face their manager. He took a deep breath, opened his mouth and closed it again. He let out a sharp breath and looked at his feet. He tried again. This time the air moving through his vocal chords made a sound. "James and I…" Logan froze.

"You're not leaving the band, are you?" Kelly asked, her voice filled with worry. "No." James replied simply. Even through that single syllable everyone could hear his nervousness. Kelly smiled and nodded.

"We're a couple now." Logan finished. His voice loud and clear. His head held up high. James smiled wide looking at his Logan, falling in love just a little more seeing how sure Logan was of them.

Gustavo did a double take, his jaw hanging, his chubby cheeks swaying. Kelly gasped, covering her mouth with her hands, dropping her map. Logan just stood there, frozen, waiting for anything to happen. Kendall and Carlos remained just as still in their places, on the couch. The only one that moved was James. He stood up, snaked his arm around Logan's waist and pulled him to his side. Logan enjoyed his warmth, his support. "We love one another." James simply stated. Gustavo still didn't move. Neither did Kelly.

After a while that seemed like an eternity Gustavo finally reacted. "OUT! ALL OF YOU OUT OF MY OFFICE!" Gustavo yelled. Logan jumped. Kendall stood up. "Gustavo…" He tried to be the leader again and face Gustavo's wrath. "RECORDING STUDIO! FIVE HOURS OF HARMONIES! NO BREAKES! NOW!" Gustavo shouted at the top of his lungs.

Carlos literally ran out the door. James ushered Logan out as well. Kendall followed last, closing the door behind them, leaving it just the slightest bit open so that they could hear what was going on in the office without being noticed.

"What do we do now?" Kelly asked. They all clearly heard Gustavo's loud sigh.

"What CAN we do, Kelly? You heard the dog – they love one another…" Gustavo sounded defeated, deflated, lacking energy.

"Their fan base is so young… if this gets out the parents will have a cow!"

"AND YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?!"

"DON'T YOU SHOUT AT ME, HAMLER!"

"Don't call me that, Kelly – you sound like my mother."

"Then stop, breathe and think – what are we going to do?"

"The only thing we can – have them keep it a secret and bust their balls if they dare to fight me on this one – even the leader dog. I'll castrate all of them if the even dare argue!"

"Gustavo, calm down. Remember your blood pressure."

"I know, you're right…" Gustavo sighed again. "I'll go check on them now…"

The boys ran to the recording booth. Gustavo found them talking to the sound engineer, laughing at a joke Carlos had said in the spur of the moment, to give the impression they had been there, as instructed, all of the time Gustavo and Kelly had decided upon their future.

"James, Logan – my office – NOW!" Gustavo spat out and turned on his heels. Both young men sighed and followed him, knowing exactly what he had to tell them. Kelly remained in the recording booth to make sure Kendall and Carlos began work on their harmonies.

"Dogs!" Gustavo said once they were all settled in, Logan's hand wrapped tightly in James'. "There's only one solution to the problem you've presented me with…"

"Love is not a problem!" Logan snapped.

"It IS a problem if it affects my band's image! Which it does!" Gustavo shouted, slamming his fists against the desk, standing up for emphasis.

"We're not breaking up…" Logan added in a small voice. Gustavo sat back down.

"I didn't ask you to. What you ARE going to do is keep this to yourselves. The second you're out of your own home you are just friends. I don't want this leaking out in the press…"

"Ok." James agreed. Logan looked at him with a bit of disappointment. James squeezed his hand tighter. "You know he's right, baby. It's the only way." Logan looked down. He knew it as well. He nodded. James let go of his hand, putting his arm around his shoulder, pulling him in for a sideways hug and kissing his head once it rested on his shoulder.

"This is NOT your home!" Gustavo pointed out.

"Yes, it is, Gustavo." James smiled "You're family to us. Shouty, crazy family, but family nevertheless."

"HARMONIES! NOW!" Gustavo shouted out before either of his dogs could catch on to the fact that James' words had made him melt on the inside.

James and Logan joined their friends. The day went by like it was never there. By the time Gustavo allowed them to go home neither of them thought they would be able to ever speak again, let alone sing.

* * *

That was their normal rhythm of life. Wake up, get a shower, get breakfast, drive to Rocque Records, sing till you drop, get home, have dinner, take another shower, fall in bed, repeat next morning.

Kendall was grateful – that didn't allow him time to think about his love life – or lack thereof. Carlos was pissed – Stephanie felt ignored and they started to fight a lot. He didn't want to lose his first serious, important girlfriend over his busy schedule.

As for Logan and James, they were simply happy. They spent all their time together, stole kisses here and there or discovered the insides of supply closets all over Gustavo's building. Yeah, turned out that hiding their relationship from the world was exciting and spicy.

Logan's choice of foods was becoming more and more weird by the day and he was gaining a bit of weight around the middle area, but James enjoyed his rounding hips and thought that the little bit of belly Logan had grown over the past couple of months made his love look sexy as hell. All James wanted to do all day long was kiss Logan all over. And Logan didn't mind. All it took for him to get aroused was a simple kiss or a touch over is lower back, or even something as simple as a breath. Logan was insatiable and James felt desired like never before in his entire life – by anyone. Yeah, it's fair to say James was in Heaven.

That didn't mean Logan and him didn't fight – no, not at all! When Logan and James fought the Earth itself shook. But the Earth shook when they made up as well. James always made sure they didn't fall asleep angry.

Logan was just the same – did everything in his power to get over whatever argument they would have. Sometimes, Logan even started a fight or two on purpose, just to get to make up with James. Make up sex had become his favorite, right up there with their stolen moments.

All in all things were good. That was until the day they had to start their dance rehearsals up again. Mr. X demanded that Logan lose the little weight he had gained and that got Logan bawling his eyes out in James' arms all night long. The next day James put Mr. X on the spot telling him to keep his mouth shut about their weight since he had some extra kilos on as well. Mr. X left the room crying and Gustavo kept them two extra hours in the studio, harmonizing. Logan repaid James that night with the quickest, roughest and most unexpected blowjob he'd ever gotten – in their garage, on the front seat of his jeep, after Kendall and Carlos had gone inside the house. James wasn't able to move a muscle for five whole minutes!

* * *

Their next dance rehearsal was even worse. Logan actually got through half of it until he fainted, falling like a log on the dance floor.

"Logan!" James screamed, scared out of his mind. His love looked whiter than white. He gingerly took Logan off the floor and put him on the couch in the recording room. Carlos sprinkled a bit of water on Logan's face. It took a bit of time for Logan to stir and come back to his senses. By that time everyone had gathered around him.

"Logan! Logan!" James sounded desperate and scared.

Logan stood up a little. "What happened?" He asked. His head was literally throbbing.

"You blacked out." Kendall told him.

"We're taking you to the hospital right now!" Kelly informed him.

Logan grunted but didn't refuse. "It's most likely just a calcium drop or something…" He said.

"Yeah – NO!" Gustavo yelled. "Doctor's office!"

"Ok, ok – just, please stop shouting!" Logan grunted.

* * *

"What are they doing in there?" James kept pacing back and forward in the waiting room where they had all been instructed to wait.

"We know as much as you do, James." Kendall tried to calm his friend down.

* * *

Logan had been waiting in the hospital room for the better part of an hour now. He kept wondering why he wasn't allowed to have anyone with him. He was so happy to see the nurse.

"What's going on?" He asked gently, hoping to get some information out of the tiny blonde woman. She shook her head "no" as she gently pushed him down on the bed.

"I'm here to set a drip for you. Calcium and a bit of a saline solution." Loan nodded.

"Could I, please, see my friends?" The nurse nodded as she poked the needle through Logan's arm. Logan hissed. He hated getting shots.

When she was done she smiled gently and went to find Logan's friends. Less than five minutes later James was bursting through the door. "Logan." He whispered, rushing to his side. Logan smiled and sat up, allowing James to hug him.

"It's just a saline drip with a bit of calcium. Don't worry, Jamie." Logan said in James' neck.

"I was so scared."

"I know. I'm ok."

Seeing their friend about to kiss Kendall cleared his throat loudly. James turned to face him, mouthing a simple "thank you" that Kendall acknowledged with a smile.

They all settled around Logan, telling jokes, keeping him entertained. James found a way to be able to touch Logan just a little – he sat at the end of Logan's bed, having Logan's legs across his lap, his hand settled on his right leg.

Half hour later Logan's drip was done and the nurse was back to take the needle away, but she didn't allow him to leave. When everyone asked why she only replied "doctor's orders" and left to see to her other patients.

"What was that all about?" Kendall asked when she was gone.

"I have no idea…" Logan replied. "Maybe they need to keep me under observation a little." Logan shrugged.

"You guys should go home. I'll stay here with Loges." James told everyone.

"We can't leave, dude!" Carlos chirped in. "You know how you get when you're alone…" He started making kissy faces until James flicked his arm with a smile.

"Just go, we'll be fine. I promise." Logan smiled.

"I'm counting on you – you're the sensible one." Kendall pointed a finger at Logan who giggled and agreed.

Carlos and Kendall went home, following Gustavo's and Kelly's example, leaving Logan and James on their own for the first time in a long time. James hugged Logan to his chest the second they were alone.

"We promised, Jamie." James sighed into Logan's hair. "I know, but you scared the shit outta me, Loges. You really did. Please eat better and take care of yourself. I don't know what I'd do if…" Logan shushed James with a gentle and very quick peck on the lips. "Nothing's gonna happen to me, baby. Nothing." Logan cuddled into James' chest, closing his eyes with a happy, content sigh.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's notes:**

**Yes Kimmie and Scarlett you got it! Damn my lack of subtlety! LOL**

**This is a tiny, little chapter making my Mpreg official. Hope you all like it. I'm still over-flowing with ideas!**

**Thank you so much for your reviews, favorites and alerts. They all mean so much to me! Much more than I can ever express in words.**

**Anyways - here you go. Pwwweeeease gimme feedback!**

**Love!**

* * *

They'd been in the hospital room with no news for about three hours now. TV didn't hold their attention - at least not Logan's. His little doctor's knowledge was making him worry and giving him stomach cramps already. Thankfully, that's when the nice lady doctor that had admitted him to the hospital came in.

"Doctor Jones!" Logan exclaimed with happiness. Finally - news!

"Mr. Mitchell." Her voice was solemn. "I have to ask you a question. Please, don't take this the wrong way, but…" Logan's eyes widened. "Have you had a sex change operation?"

"WHAT?!" Logan exploded. "Oh, my God! Of course not!" He answered half amused. The doctor hung her head. She sighed. "Why would you…assume that?" Logan asked. James was mortified.

"Because there's a hormone in your blood analysis that should not - could not be there…It's a woman's hormone…" The doctor sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's clear the nurses mixed up your blood tests. Do you mind redoing them?"

"No, of course not - but I already had a calcium and saline drip…won't that mess up the results?" Logan asked, already moving to the edge of the bed, to make it easier for the doctor to take another sample of his blood.

"We know what to look out for and we'll rule out those specific tests. I really am sorry for the inconvenience. Especially since I really would have you wait here for the results…" The doctor poked Logan's skin again and he hissed a little.

James, instinctively, covered Logan's hand with his own. Logan smiled at James. The doctor noticed and smiled while taking a second vile of Logan's blood.

"You're very lucky to have such a caring boyfriend." She told Logan with a smile. Both men froze. "Please don't tell anyone…" James whispered. "We're not supposed to…" The doctor lifted a hand. "It's covered by doctor-patient confidentiality. Don't worry." She smiled. "My younger sister had a hard time coming out of the closet as well. I fully understand." She smiled again and took the needle out of Logan's arm. "Thank you." Both of them said as one. "I'll be back with your results as soon as possible. I'll do them myself!" Doctor Jones said before exiting the room.

Two whole hours passed before Doctor Jones returned to Logan and James. Her face was longer than before, a light shade of…translucid. Logan's heart sunk. Something had to be terribly wrong with him for the nice doctor to have that expression. Fear took over him as he squeezed James' hand in a death grip. James squeezed back just as tight, sharing in Logan's worries. They had just found each other and true happiness, neither wanted to lose that.

"Mr. Mitchell…" The doctor began, brushing her bangs out of her face. "I need to ask you to allow me to take a scan of your torso. The results I got were… confusing." Logan nodded without even realizing he did so. James mirrored his actions. "If you think it's best, doctor." Logan replied in a small voice. "Yes. I think so. A scan will put my doubts to rest… And your… emm… friend…" The doctor smiled, sharing in their secret."… can accompany you, if you so desire." Logan nodded. He needed James around him, his presence calming, somehow. "Ok, then please follow me."

The doctor took Logan to a different part of the hospital, showing them into a small room with a desk, a chair and a small bed. By the bed there was a huge, white machine, with a monitor. The light purple of the walls was somehow inviting ad Logan felt safe, like whatever was wrong with him could not be that bad. "Please have a seat." The doctor instructed Logan pointing to the little bed. "Take off your shirt and lay on your back." Logan did as he was told. James sat at his feet, folding Logan's shirt tidily, on his own lap. Logan smiled at his boyfriend.

Doctor Jones pulled the chair next to the bed and started the machine. It made a little buzzing sound as the monitor lit up. The doctor took out something that looked like a weird medium between a computer mouse and a hand scanner and a bottle of blue gel.

Logan suddenly realized what she was doing when she put the cold gel on his belly, moving the "mouse" above his stomach. As soon as the "mouse" touched his belly a rapid bada-boom bada-boom bada-boom filled Logan's ears, though the volume was on a low setting. Logan squealed and covered his mouth with both his hands fully recognizing the meaning. He turned to see the screen and there it was – a white little blob that moved. The doctor squealed herself almost at the same time as Logan did.

"WHAT? What is it?!" James asked in fear.

Logan looked at Doctor Jones. Doctor Jones looked at Logan.

"Are you sure you didn't have…"

"Absolutely positive!"

"But you have a… a…"

"I'm…I really am…?"

"As you can see!" The doctor almost flew off the chair with happiness.

"WHAT?! WHAT?! Someone please tell me what's going on!? What's wrong with MY LOGAN?!" James all but screamed at the doctor.

"Nothing! Nothing's wrong baby!" Logan turned his face to the monitor, tracing the blob gently."I'm perfectly fine." He smiled, dreamingly.

"He's pregnant." Doctor Jones' eyes were filled with happiness.

"He's…" James fainted, falling off the bed.

"JAMES!" Logan yelled, trying to get up as the Doctor pushed him back down. She smiled as he settled then bent down and slapped James hard over the face – twice. James grunted and opened is eyes to see Doctor Jones' face hovering over him. His face throbbing, feeling like a teenager again. He stood up gently. The doctor helped him sit back on the bed and handed him a glass of water, dissolving in it a calcium pill. James sighed and drank it all in one gulp. He looked back at Logan. His chocolate eyes filled with worry. Behind the worry James saw something else. Something new. Something that made his own heart sing. James got lost in Logan's eyes. He didn't hear his boyfriend talking to him.

"Baby…" Logan shook James' arm.

"Mmmm…"

"Are you ok?"

"Y…yeah… yeah… I… I… I am…" James blinked and the magic in Logan's eyes broke for long enough. Long enough for James to turn his eyes on Doctor Jones."Pregnant?"

"Yes."

"A baby…" James looked to the ground. Logan put a protective hand over his belly, now clean from all the gel."A baby…" James kept chanting. "A baby…" Logan was scared James had lost his mind. "A baby…" Logan tried to shake James, but the doctor shook her head "no" and Logan placed his hand back over his belly, looking at James, waiting. "A baby…" James murmured again. He looked up at Logan. "A baby?" He asked and Logan vigorously nodded. "A baby…" James looked at Logan's belly. At his hand protecting the little being growing inside of him. "A baby…" A tear ran down James face. "A baby… Logan… our baby!" James suddenly jumped off the bed, wrapping his string arms around Logan's waist, spinning him high in the air. "A baby, Logan, a baby!" James whispered, placing Logan safely back on the ground, nuzzling his neck. "Our baby." James cried in Logan's neck. Tears of joy, tears of a dream that he'd never though to dream. Tears of a dream he'd never thought would come true.

Logan sighed, happy beyond description. Happy he would be a father. Happy he could make James a father. Happy he would give James his own child. A child born of both of them. A child he already loved more than life itself.

"Our daughter." James whispered as he pulled back. That made Logan lose it. His tears began flowing as he laughed at the level of silliness they both displayed. "Our daughter." He echoed, nodding a little.

Doctor Jones cleared her throat. They both turned to face her, blushing harder than they had ever done in their lives.

"We can't know the sex of the child yet…" She tried to bring them back to Earth a little.

"It's a girl, doctor. We want a girl." Logan cuddled in James' embrace, sighing, closing his eyes, forgetting about shyness, shame or anything else in the world, feeling loved and blessed and just the luckiest man that has ever walked the face of the planet. James let his cheek rest on Logan's head as he held him close.

Doctor Jones chuckled. "Ok, then." She giggled. "Please take a seat." She instructed. James reluctantly let go of Logan and allowed him to sit down "way" over on the chair next to him. "We need to talk some things over, Mr. Mitchell." Logan nodded. "I see you have some medical knowledge…"

"Some? He's always got his nose in some medical book – ever since he was five! He's always dreamt of being a doctor!" James exploded with pride.

Doctor Jones' eyes grew in her hear. Logan blushed at James' praise but shushed James down placing a calming hand on the back of his boyfriends'. "Baby, it's ok. That's got nothing to do with this." James widened his eyes. "Baby – it has everything to do with it. You're smart. You ~know stuff~!" James said, emphasizing the last two words with a low voice.

"It's good he "knows stuff"…"Doctor Jones giggled. James seemed so innocent to her. Innocent and loving. "But I think there are a few things we still need to go through together." She explained.

"Yes, there are." Logan told James, who sighed and took Logan's hand between his, placing them on his lap. For the rest of Logan's discussion with Doctor Jones he kept to himself, mainly looking at how beautiful their hands looked with their fingers linked together.

First thing Logan wanted to know was how come he could even get pregnant. Doctor Jones showed him his scans. She showed him he had one ovary, on his left side. Logan gasped. _"That explains why I only have one ball."_ He thought to himself. Somehow that didn't bother him anymore.

"You also seem to have a uterus." The doctor told him at one point. Logan's jaw dropped. "How is that possible, doctor. I mean… I am a normal guy…" He said with amazement. "Well, maybe not normal-normal… I do have only one… but, otherwise… I'm normal!"

"I'm not sure, Mr. Mitchell. I will look into it. See if there are any more documented cases like yourself, but, in my experience, you are the only one with both male and female reproductive organs." Logan thought of it for a second. "Which makes me a… h-h-hermaphrodite…?" Logan asked with a shaky voice. "No, hermaphrodites, technically have mainly woman's reproductive organs and a very small penis." The doctor explained. "You… are different." Logan nodded.

"And because you are different and have both organs, your uterus is not as big as a woman's. but it does seem to be fully developed." The doctor said, looking at Logan's scans. "That's good, right?" Logan asked. "That's it's fully developed?"

"Yes. It is. But what's not good is that it is a little small. I don't think you'll be able to carry the pregnancy full ter. It may also be dangerous for your health to try and do so – if you choose to keep the child…"

"I will keep my child. That is not even a discussion." Logan stated firmly. "How long do you think that I CAN carry this baby?"

"Best estimation? Seven months…"

"That's enough for our child to survive, isn't it?" Logan asked placing his free hand over his belly. Over his precious daughter.

"Yes. It usually is."

"Then I'll carry her as long as possible, then she'll be in your hands?" Logan asked again. Doctor Jones smiled at Logan's unconscious use of the pronoun "she" when referring to his unborn child. She shook her head.

"I have no delivery competencies, but I will refer you to a good friend of mine. He's been an OBGYN for more than twenty years. He will be a good choice for you to deliver your baby with and take care of you while you are pregnant."

"All right, Doctor Jones, if you think it's for the best…" Logan sighed. He really did like the nice blonde lady. She had something about her that reminded him of Kendall – maybe the honey-like blonde hair and her take-charge kind of way.

"You'll need to go to see Dan as soon as possible, though." Doctor Jones said while searching through a drawer in her desk.

"Dan?"

"Oh, Dan Williams. Doctor Dan Williams." The doctor replied, with a sweet smile. Logan nodded again. "Your pregnancy is, by my measurements, quite far along…"

"How far along?"

"I'd say about, oh, maybe 10 weeks." Logan gasped again.

"T-t-ten weeks?"

"Yes…I'd ask you about your last menstrual cycle to be sure, but…"

Logan smiled like stupid. If he really was 10 weeks along in his pregnancy that meant that their daughter was conceived the night that Logan seduced James. Their very first night. The night that he prayed he would have been a woman to be able to turn their love into a life! His prayer had been answered! In the weirdest of ways, but it had been answered. He now held a life within him. A life made of love. Pure love. Logan looked down at his belly. "My beautiful baby made out of love." He caressed his belly making a quiet promise to always look after her and protect her, at any cost.

"Can we go home now?" James finally asked when he heard the conversation between Logan and Doctor Jones had died down.

"Yes, I'll take care of your release papers and then you can go home."

"Thank you, doctor." Logan said before Doctor Jones exited the room.

When they were finally alone James looked at Logan. "Ten weeks?" He asked with hope. "Doc seems to think so." Logan smiled. "That means…" James let out with a hot breath. Logan just nodded, his hand still on his belly. "I know." He whispered. James put his large, warm hand over Logan's. "I love you, Logan. So much!" James said simply. "What did I do to deserve you?" He asked, pulling Logan on his lap, to his chest, in a tight hug. "You were born." Logan replied and allowed James' warmth to wash over him.

* * *

The next day James and Logan gathered Kendall, Carlos, Kelly and Gustavo in Gustavo's office at Rocque Records and showed them the picture from Logan's scan. Kendall froze, Gustavo fainted, Kelly squealed and Carlos jumped up and hugged Logan, screaming "I'm gonna be an uncle, I'm gonna be an uncle!"

When Gustavo finally came to his senses he began yelling at Kelly to make sure no one will ever find out about this. He got Kelly searching for a medical center where Logan could have an abortion really quick and quiet like so that no one – NO ONE – would ever find out and ruin Big Time Rush.

**"I AM NOT HAVING AN ABORTION!" **Logan yelled so hard that the whole building shook. Since Logan never yelled, Gustavo froze, his words caught in his throat. "I am having this baby." "Ok, then – adoption will be harder to pull together but a closed adoption should protect…"  
"WHAT THE FUCK AREN'T YOUU GETTING?" Logan yelled again. "I am having and keeping and raising and taking care of this baby. MY BABY! OUR BABY!" Logan yelled, gesturing to him and James, getting in Gustavo's face, up close and personal. "Our baby, our decision. Not yours." He growled low, like a tiger. "Never yours." Logan spat in Gustavo's face, then turned on his heels to storm out of the room.

Gustavo caught his wrist. "YOUR DECISSION will destroy this band and MY WORK!" He yelled.

"No. It won't." Logan said.

"You'll figure something out." James continued. "You always do. But we are having this baby." He stepped forward and slapped Gustavo's hand away from Logan's. "Just so you know…" He leaned down a little to look Gustavo in the eyes. "No one is allowed to touch my family." He whispered, in a low, menacing voice.

Gustavo shook his head, his cheeks wobbling, and took a tiny step back. James took Logan home for the rest of the day, making him rest, pampering him until it all became nauseatingly sweet.

"I may be forced to live inside of these four walls after I get bigger…" Logan reasoned at one point during the day. "I'll get so bored!"

"Don't worry, love, I'll entertain you."

"How?" Logan smirked almost reading James' mind.

"Like this…" James said, kissing his lips lightly. Logan melted into his kiss before it got heated. James picked Logan up from the living room couch and carried him to their bedroom, placing him on his feet.

"Hands up." He whispered. Logan obeyed and found himself naked in two shift moves. Logan shivered a little as James' fingers wrapped around his hips and turned him all the way around. He found himself facing the full length mirror James loved so much, gasping at the sight of the little bulge on his stomach. He stood there mesmerized not even noticing as James got undressed. He only noticed James' hands come up from behind him, cupping that little bulge, feeling the warmth of James' body radiating behind him.

"Jamie… I'm showing a little, aren't I?"

"Just when you're like this… naked… perfect… mine… all mine." James whispered.

Logan moved his eyes up on the mirror from his belly to James' face. The love in the hazel eyes made his knees weak. He leaned back completely. James smiled and moved his hands to Logan's hips, turning him around again. Logan tip-toe-ed, wrapping his arms around James' neck, meeting his lips halfway.

"Will you still want to entertain me like this when I'm twice my current size?" He asked, breaking their kiss. "I'll always want to entertain you like this, my love. I'll just have more of you to hold…" James squeezed Logan closer to him, rubbing his hard on against Logan's thigh. "…to kiss…" James kissed Logan's neck. "…to love." James finished, kissing the other side of Logan's neck, gently sucking at the sweet skin.

"Mmmm…" was all that Logan could remember how to say when James' warm hands cupped his ass while his mouth left a mark right on his shoulder. Logan let go everything and gave himself over to all the amazing sensations James was giving him. He forgot he was supposed to love James back, his hands doing nothing more than helping him support himself from around James' neck, while he took in everything.

James bent down a little, picked Logan's thighs up and pulled him to his arms. Logan went to James' arms, feeling his cheeks pulled apart a little, desire rushing through his blood.

James gently put him on the bed then stood up a little, watching him. Logan smiled, caressing James' face. "You are so beautiful." He told James. "So unbelievably beautiful." James kissed his lips, his jaw, his neck, his shoulder and the mark he had just made, going further down, slowly. When James finally reached Logan's nipples, Logan arched his back, just the way he knew it drove James wild. He still did nothing to James, he still forgot he should, he just took everything in, feeling greedy and selfish.

James was more than happy to give everything to Logan. Seeing him give himself like that turned James on so much it was ridiculous. He kissed and bit and licked at Logan's nipples, keeping his hands away from Logan's body, to drive his love crazier. It was working – Logan arching his back, making all those quiet, little sounds. He moved a little lower, kissing right down the middle of Logan's chest to his belly and his happy trail.

"Mmm…Jamie…" Logan moaned. James smirked kissing lower on his lover's body, ignoring the place Logan wanted his lips most, going down his right thigh and up his left. Logan fisted James' hair, trying to convey just a bit of his need, but James gently wrapped his hands around Logan's wrists and squeezed a little, removing his lips from Logan's body, looking into his beautiful face. Logan let go of James' hair and allowed James to pin his hands down on either side of his body. "Baby, please…" Logan begged.

"You have no patience, my love." James teased but took Logan in his mouth, his tongue flat on the underside of Logan's dick, while he moved his head up and down his love's length. Crazy, delicious, little moans left Logan's pink, parted lips. The sounds going right to James' groin. He pulled his tongue up, twirling it around Logan's head before deep throating Logan's full, impressive length, never even gagging.

Logan moaned more, feeling his senses go numb and his orgasm build up. "Baby… I'm…" He didn't get to finish, James' mouth acting like a vacuum over him, faster and faster until he exploded, flashes of color bursting under his closed eye lids.

Logan panted wildly while James moved his legs up and began licking at his whole. "Oh, my God! James!" Logan felt himself grow hard again as James' tongue found its way inside of him. "Baby, please!" James indulged Logan's plead, releasing one of his hands, moving his fingers to one of Logan's impossibly hard and sensitive nipples, twitching it painfully, making Logan moan up a storm. His fingers moved higher to Logan's delicious mouth.

Logan tongue mirrored the movements of James' on his lover's fingers. That made James grow even harder. So hard he was in pain. He couldn't take it any longer. He took his fingers out of Logan's mouth and moved them to Logan's hole, poking one in a little, not even half a knuckle, before Logan came again screaming out his name.

James didn't stop. He moved his finger in further, next to his tongue, which he kept swirling around until he got dizzy. Logan moaned and whined and sighed and begged for more. James shoved another two fingers in, finding Logan's prostate from the first try, slowly getting Logan hard a third time.

"Baby, Jamie, please! Just… please!" Logan begged. James took his fingers out. Logan whined and watched with wide eyes as James slicked himself up with Logan's own cum, literally diving inside his hole in one sharp move. "Yes, finally!" Logan whispered, pulling James down, on top of him, kissing his lips, moving his hips as much and as fast as he could.

James soon took charge, kissing Logan hard while he began thrusting gently. Logan had other plans though, still moving his hips up to meet James'. James took a hint and gave in to Logan's insatiable desire. He found Logan's prostate again and hit it every single time, wanting to make Logan feel all of his love and desire.

Logan wrapped his legs around him, taking him in deeper. Logan's arms latched to his back, pulling him so close there was no air left between them. "James…" Logan whispered almost like a chant. James looked in his chocolate eyes. "I love you." James told Logan, simply, hitting that special spot again, erratically. "Come inside me." Logan pleaded, feeling James reach his peak. James did just that. He let go and came deep inside Logan, his love holding him closer than close as he did.

When he came down from his high, James realized Logan was still hard. He wrapped his hand gently around his shaft and moved up and down just a few times before Logan came again. All over his hand and their chests.

Logan became limp. Three orgasms was a new record even for him. He felt more than spent. He tried to say something, but all that came out was a little moan. James got off him and pulled him to his chest. "Sleep, baby. You need to rest."

"I love you, Jamie. Thank you ."

"For?"

"Standing up to Gustavo today."

"You're my family, baby. No one touches my family." James whispered as Logan fell fast asleep, his body depleted of energy, his heart light and filled with love.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's notes: **

**Thank you my sweet readers for linking my story. I'm honestly IN LOVE with Jagan right now. They just work so good together. **

**Here's more about Logan's pregnancy and a tiny bit extra. Just a tiny bit. It's my special Christmas gift to all of you. Love you all so much!**

**Merry Christmas to all!**

**Pletty pletty pwease don't shy away from reviews. They'd make my X-mas. *wink***

* * *

"GET THE DOGS IN MY OFFICE NOW!" Gustavo yelled in Kendall's phone, instead of a "good morning" a few days later. He had allowed Logan and James to take a few days off, until he would come up with the solution and now that he had the dogs had better agree, or else!

Kendall sighed into his pillow. He and Carlos had taken Gustavo's wrath for the past four days, for the sake of Logan's pregnancy. Kendall had yet to believe it or say something about it, actually, but he supported his friends unconditionally, as he always did.

He slowly threw his legs over the bed and wet to wake up Carlos then the future parents. Carlos didn't even budge. He was so deeply asleep. Kendall sighed again and went across the hall to try his luck with James and Logan. He sighed at the sight of the two of them hugging even in their sleep. He went to the foot of the bed, gently shaking James' leg. James woke up easily, smiling down at Logan before even noticing Kendall.

"Gustavo wants us all in his office." Kendall sighed and walked out of the room, leaving James to wake himself and Logan up, heading to Carlos to give it another go at waking him up.

Carlos registered being shaken slightly. He opened his eyes and grunted. Sleep was taking everything away – all the pain in his body and his heart. In his sleep he wouldn't have to take Gustavo's yelling or the fact that Stephanie had found someone else, someone who had time to spend with her. In his sleep tears would stay away on they own, he didn't have to fight himself and put on a fake happy face. In his sleep everything was perfect. He saw Kendall at his side and tried to smile, but feeling Kendall's warm hand on his shoulder, feeling his quiet support, he just couldn't smile, couldn't lie anymore. Kendall didn't notice though.

"Gustavo wants all of us in his office." Kendall said, still half asleep, getting up to leave. He took a couple of steps to the door, but heard a little sob and turned on his heals instantly, his loyalty to his friends taking over, waking him up on the spot. Carlos had curled up on his side, in a shaking ball. Kendall's eyes bulged. He crossed the distance in a single step. "Los… what's wrong?" He asked gingerly, fear gripping at his insides. Carlos hadn't cried since they'd gotten to LA – and that was years ago. "What made you cry, Los?"

Carlos said nothing, just allowed his tears to fall, quiet little sobs escaping him as Kendall hugged him from behind. "Los, please tell me what's wrong." Kendall asked quietly, the same way he used to do when they were kids and Carlos would get bullied into tears. "You can't beat anyone up for me, Ken. Not this time…" Carlos finally said; his voice shaky from crying. "But I can listen, Los. Maybe that can help." Carlos shook his head, yet he still turned in Kendall's arms and cried in his chest. Kendall could do nothing but hope that his presence would be enough to help Carlos, even if he had no way of knowing what was actually wrong – apart from being tired to the limit of exhaustion.

* * *

James woke Logan up, gently kissing his temple. Logan opened his eyes, smiling up at his love, receiving a sweet kiss on the lips. "Morning." He whispered into James' neck, spoiling himself a little with James' scent. "Morning, love." James replied, caressing Logan's hair. Over the last three months these kind of moments had become James' favorites – feeling Logan nuzzle his neck as he stretched the sleep out of his body, like a cat cuddling into his body, just made him feel happy and safe and needed and complete. He hated cutting this moment short, but he had to. "Gustavo wants us in the office…" Logan's head shot up worry etched on his beautiful features. "Why?" James shrugged a little. "I don't know, baby. Kendall woke me up just now and told me." Logan nodded and put out his brave face. "Shower?" James asked with playfulness on his face, trying his best to get Logan to stop worrying.

Logan smiled wide at the thought of James' naked body and nodded, not even bothering to answer before getting out of James' embrace and their bed, almost bouncing his way to the shower, getting the water just right.

James followed Logan, leaning in the door frame, watching his deliciously naked lover get their shower ready. Logan turned to see him. "What?" He asked playfully. "Just watching my gorgeous naked boyfriend." James smirked at Logan' gentle blush. He loved it only took a few words to still make Logan blush, after all the time and all the times they'd been together, all the time they'd known one another, Logan still blushed. He took a baby step forward. Logan blushed deeper, raking his eyes on James' own naked body, his Adam's apple moving as he swallowed down an evident lump. "What is it, baby?" Logan shook his head. "See something you like?" James teased. "Nope." Logan lied, moving his eyes up into James' hazel ones. "Really now?" James kept teasing, closing the distance between them, making Logan step inside the shower. "Really." Logan replied back, still holding James' gaze. "Well, I do." James replied, stepping inside the shower, closing the door behind him, moving in Logan's personal space, making sure both of them got under the warm spray.

Logan allowed James' embrace. He loved the feeling of skin-to-skin contact, even if there was nothing sexual about it right now. James' hands felt so loving on his rounding hips, it reassured Logan he was still appealing to his lover.

It took them about 20 minutes to get out of the shower, washing each other, playing around like children. It took another 15 minutes to get fully dressed and get to a perfectly empty living room.

"I thought the boys would be waiting for us by now…" Logan said with surprise in his voice.

"I know… me too…" James agreed. "KENDALL! CARLOS?!" James yelled while Logan rolled his eyes as James went "hunting" for their friends. He went to Kendall's room – empty. He went to Carlos' room. The door wasn't closed so James saw Kendall holding a shaking Carlos with ease. It felt like they were back in school, when Carlos used to get bullied around. James worried. He caught Kendall's eyes, quietly asking what was wrong. Kendall just slightly shook his head, telling James he had no idea. James took a step forward, but Kendall shook his head "no" again, James seeing the same protective Kendall he always saw when is friends hurt or in any kind of trouble. James nodded and went back to Logan.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked, standing up when he saw James' expression.

"Carlos is crying… I think…"

"What happened?"

"I have no idea. Kendall's with him though."

Logan nodded remembering Kendall's protective instincts.

"We should go to Gustavo's… distract him until Carlos is ok to come in…" Logan said.

"Yeah." James agreed with half a voice. He feared Gustavo's reaction. He had barely controlled himself when Gustavo had suggested Logan have an abortion, he would not guarantee he could do that again. Logan saw it in his eyes and place a hand on his forearm.

"Let's go." James nodded.

* * *

After more than half hour of having Carlos cry into his chest, Kendall wanted to get him talking. He wanted to know who to kill already!

"Los…" He tried again, his voice low and soothing. Carlos shook his head. "Los, look at me." Carlos hid his face. Kendall sighed. "Los…"Carlos shook his head again. "You wanna stay here all day long?" Carlos nodded. "But, I'm hungry, Los." That always used to work. That used to get Carlos up and running.

This time, though, not even the promise of food got Carlos to feel better. He just let go of Kendall, turning to the other side, no longer crying, just sulking in his own misery. "Go eat." He simply said, hiding his face in the pillows. Kendall sighed. "You know I'd never leave you alone when you're like this. Come with me." Kendall tried again. "No. Just leave."

It was the first time Carlos had pushed Kendall away. It hurt. Instead of leaving, Kendall hugged Carlos again. "Never." He whispered and Carlos began crying again. "It hurts, Kendy, it hurts so bad." Carlos finally got out. "What does, Litos?" Kendall had already hit his limit. All he wanted was a name. Just to know who to kill for hurting his friend this bad. It wasn't normal. "Steph broke up with me…" Carlos finally got out. "Oh, Carlos." Kendall calmed down and pulled Carlos to his chest a lot tighter. He knew how it felt.

Carlos instantly felt better. Kendall's warmth radiating through him. "And seeing James and Logan all happy and couple-y and starting their own family really does not help…" Carlos got out with a sigh. "I know, Los. When I came back from my trip…" Carlos nodded. "I'm sorry, Kendall. I was such an insensitive ass…"

"It's ok, Carlos. I was mostly over Jo. It's ok." Kendall said before kissing Carlos' temple. He didn't even realize the gesture, just placed his cheek over Carlos' and held him close. Carlos did realize, the warm outline of Kendall' lips almost throbbing on his skin. He blushed slightly and felt grateful Kendall would miss his embarrassment.

"You said you were hungry." Carlos finally said. "Let's get something…"

"Corndogs?" Kendall offered with a smile.

"Yeah and that sauerkraut Logan bought the other day – if he didn't eat the whole jar by himself." Carlos let out a little giggle. The sound put Kendall's heart at ease as he reluctantly opened his arms and let go of his friend.

* * *

James and Logan walked inside Gustavo's office with their heart beating at insane rhythms. James' arm around Logan's neck. Gustavo sighed at the sight.

"I thought I told you that outside your home you two are just friends." He pinched the bridge of his nose. James shrugged but kept his arm in place as they both sat on the couch. "Where are the other dogs?"

"Carlos wasn't feeling well. Kendall is taking care of him." Logan explained.

"And, besides, I have a feeling that you wanted to talk to the two of us anyway." James added cockily, never letting on as to how nervous he really was.

"You're right. We…" Gustavo gestured to him and Kelly. "…have found a solution to the problems you keep throwing at me." When Logan and James kept silence he continued. "Kelly did some research and found out about a bug that causes weight gain and anemia. It takes months for a healthy body to process it. And hospitalization. It's the perfect excuse."

"EXCUSE?!" Logan burst, standing up. Gustavo put a hand up to make him shut it.

"Your pregnancy is high risk. I spoke with your doctor. You'll need bed rest and constant watching over. We need an excuse for you to be fat and in a hospital without paparazzi around and fans going insane over this."

Logan sat back down. "Sounds reasonable…" He mumbled. "But what excuse will you find for our baby, when she's born?" He mumbled through his question.

"We still have some time to think of that." Gustavo sighed. His voice was at a normal volume which scared both Loan and James. They weren't accustomed to Gustavo's normal voice. "For now you need to study this bug and go on an interview and tell your fans not to worry." He got up and handed Logan a bunch of papers. Logan took them and skimmed them over.

James looked at Logan in worry. He wasn't ok with lying to his fans. But seeing Logan's acceptance, he decided to go with whatever his love wanted to do. It was his body and his decision, after all.

"I'll get more info on this thing when I get home." Logan simply stated. "How much time do I have before the interview?"

"Two days."

"More than enough."

"Good. Now that's settled – get to the studio. You're back on three songs."

Logan and James nodded. They both got up and went right to studio A. James stopped Logan before going in. "You're sure this is what you want?"

"I don't have a choice."

"You do – we could tell the truth."

"That would ruin the band, our hard work and your dream. I won't allow that to happen." Logan replied, entering the studio, a hand gently on his belly. James sighed looking at his love's back as he went up the four steps leading to the studio.

They spent the day recording, catching up on the songs Kendall and Carlos had already recorded.

* * *

Two days later Logan found himself on Ellen DeGeneres' couch, nervous as hell, without James or Kendall or Carlos by his side.

"So, Logan, why the pounds?" Ellen started to badger him.

"Well, that's a bit of a story. Emm… I have a bug."

"A bug?" Ellen raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. A few months back we had some time off and went on vacation in the islands of Hawaii. I ate a couple of raw shells, on a dare, and I got a bug."

"Oh…" Ellen made.

"Yeah. Because of it I have been gaining a bit of weight. It also causes anemia. It depletes calcium and magnesium, mostly. That's why I fainted and ended up in the ER a couple of days back. I'm fine now, I'm just not allowed to do effort of any kind."

"Not even… you know…" Ellen put a lot of double meaning to her words. Logan laughed.

"Not even that, Ellen." He laughed once again. "That's a lot of effort!" He added and Ellen laughed, leaning on her elbow. "So what now? I mean, you can't live with that all your life."

"No, no, of course not. Doctors say it takes a little time, but the body gets rid of it naturally. I'll have to go in a medical center where doctors will be able to keep an eye on my anemia."

"So, you'll be taking a break from…"

"Yes. Unfortunately."

"What do your band mates have to say about this?"

"What can they say? I mean, neither of us likes putting Big Time Rush on hold, but I'll wait for as long as I can before going in the center. I'll be recording the whole time, try to get the album out, for our fans, before taking a bit of time off."

"So, no tour, no promos, no nothing."

"Not for me, no."

"That's sad news."

"I'm sorry. I just need to take care of my health for a little while. It will get worse before getting better…"

"That's ok, Logan! We understand!" A girl in the studio audience shouted. Logan turned and smiled.

"Thank you so much. I know we always say this, but it is the truth – your support means the world to us – to me. Our rushers really are the most supportive and best fans in the world. Thank you."

The crowd awed at his statement and Ellen went to commercials, allowing Logan to sign some autographs and take some pictures before going backstage. "Logan, don't leave till the end of the show, kay, I need to talk to you a bit." Ellen called out after him. Logan nodded with a smile, heading for the green room where James was waiting for him.

"How was it?" James asked, hugging Logan to him.

"Easier than I thought. Ellen was nice." Logan allowed the hug. "She asked me to wait for the show to be over."

"That's only 15 minutes. We can wait." Logan nodded and settled on the couch, into James' side, watching the show on the little TV set.

When the show was over Ellen came bursting in the door. She greeted James warmly.

"You should have come on the show." She told James.

"This was about Logan, not me."

"This is about the both of you. Gustavo told me the truth."

"Thank you for keeping our secret. We hate having to lie, but…" Logan said from behind James.

"Believe me, I know the price of fame." Ellen nodded.

"You said you wanted to talk to me…?" Logan asked.

"I just wanted to congratulate you both and tell you that I'm here for you, should you need help with anything. What you're doing is brave. I have nothing but respect for you." She said plainly, patting Logan gently on the shoulder.

"Thank you, Ellen. Thank you."

* * *

From then on Logan was more comfortable with his extra weight. He worked as much as he could, giving it his all in the recording booth. Especially after Kelly had a bar stool brought up inside jut for him.

Gustavo wasn't shouting anymore. Which was a wonderful new little detail that showed just how much heart Gustavo did actually have, even allowing Logan to take all the breaks he needed.

His new doctor – Dan Williams – was nice and caring AND a sight for sore eyes. Logan loved going in for his weekly check-up – to James' annoyance. The only thing that made his new doctor a bit imperfect was his preference for women – which was the only reason why James still accepted doctor Williams as Logan's OBGYN.

Weeks passed in a blur.

Logan was horny as hell, tiring "poor" James out every chance he got. He had the weirdest of cravings and the best puppy eyes to get James, Kendall, Carlos, Kelly and, at times, even Gustavo, to cater to his cravings. Yeah – the fat man had a heart.

It showed the first time Logan felt the baby kick. A weird feeling in what seemed like the pit of his stomach took over him. Like butterflies, but stronger. He placed a hand over the butterflies, rubbing slightly with his fingertips. He felt a little gentle push against his fingers and teared up instantly, in the middle of a verse. James ran to him, worried and flushed, but Logan shut him up before a single sound had the chance to leave his lips, taking his hand and placing it over the butterflies, pressing down ever so slightly.

James finally felt the kick. Tears ran down his face. His smile brightened the room. "Hi little one." He spoke softly to the baby, kneeling down so he could "face" his daughter. "This is your daddy, honey." The baby kicked again. Logan giggled at the feeling and the cheesiness of it all, caressing James' hair.

Gustavo came in and joined them. Neither had expected that. Like they hadn't expected Gustavo's hand on Logan's belly, his eyes wide – wider than the blue bug eye sunglasses he chose to wear that day. James stood up and allowed Gustavo to feel the little movement on his own. "Oh." He made when it finally happened. Logan smiled.

"How is it like?" He asked Logan, still in awe.

"Like butterflies. Just in one spot. More defined."

"Butterflies." Gustavo echoed, looking down at his hand on Logan's abdomen. He took his hand away and simply left, still looking at it.

Two days later Gustavo had them record a new song called "Butterflies" about his experience with Logan and James' unborn child. Of course no once could ever hear the song, but the boys worked on it gladly.

* * *

When Christmas came along Logan was already five and a half months along. His big belly was getting in the way. He was bigger than a woman would have been at this time in her pregnancy, but Doctor Williams said it was all right, his child growing normally, even under the conditions of his male body.

Logan wanted to go home, to Minnesota, for holidays, but the doctor said it wasn't a good idea, so Kendall and Carlos decided they would stay with him and James and make it a Big Time Christmas.

Logan wasn't happy, but he made do. He had James buy the biggest tree he could find and cleaned out the decorations shop. He got the prettiest white angel for the top and a huge star to go in the middle of their tree. Carlos got Christmas huge red socks and had them embroidered with each of their names and hung them over the living room fireplace. Kendall got the food – well, Kendall hired a caterer to bring their food. He ordered every one of their favorite dishes and some extra sweets, as Logan was going through a "sweet period" in his never ending cravings.

But the best part was definitely decorating the tree. It took hours. But art usually does. When he was done he was the happiest camper, sparkling lights and shiny decoration almost smiling back at him.

James wrapped his arms around Logan and their baby – they had refused to know the baby's sex, being sure they were expecting a daughter. Logan leaned back in his love's embrace. "It's beautiful." Logan said. "You're beautiful." James replied, kissing Logan's temple. "You keep saying that." Logan giggled. "Because it's true." James replied, his baby kicking his hand through Logan's belly. This had happened so many time before. Him hugging Logan, feeling their daughter kick at the sound of his voice. It felt like she recognized him somehow.

"Logan… I've been thinking…"James' heart sped up behind Logan's back. "Mmmm." Logan let out. "I think we should do this right."

"Do what right, baby?" Logan asked dreamingly, still lost in the beauty of their Christmas tree.

"This. Us. Our family." James let out, his voice shaking. Logan moved his head slightly on James' shoulder so he could look up at his boyfriend.

"What are you saying, Jamie?"

"I'm saying we should get married." James looked down in Logan's chocolate eyes. The love inside of them always gave him power to get over his own fears.

"You… You…" Logan mumbled, his eyes wide in surprise.

James let go of Logan with one hand, taking the little secret in his pocket out.

"I've been carrying this around for weeks. Just looking for the best moment to ask you." He opened up his hand in front of Logan showing him a beautiful white gold ring with tree small yellow diamonds on the top. "Logan Mitchell, you make me the happiest man alive. Please share your life with me. Please marry me."

Logan stood there, frozen, looking down at the ring in James' palm. He could not say a single word. He could not move a single muscle. Then his baby kicked again and he breathed out a small "yes", lifting his hand to touch the little band that would show the world he belonged to James with his entire being.

"Yes?" James asked with hope in his voice.

"Yes." Logan uttered, nodding.

James' heart started a normal pace, matching Logan's, as he placed the ring on Logan's finger.

Kendall and Carlos awed from somewhere behind them as Logan turned and kissed his fiancée's lips for the very first time.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's notes:**

**I know I already updated today, but this story is just unstoppable.**

**THANK YOU for the reviews! Especially Kimmie and Scarlett who keep reviewing my every chapter. You are amazing. Seriously - THANK YOU.**

**As for this chapter. Well I had to. I just had to. It's been screaming at me to be written down for like 2 or 3 chapters now. Don't kill me.**

**Hope you like it. And, please, please, please don't shy away from reviewing - i see you reading! hihihi**

**Love!**

**And - again - Merry Christmas!**

* * *

Christmas night finally came. Carlos could not wait! He'd never been this giddy about it since he had learned that Santa wasn't real, back in 10th grade. Yeah, ok, maybe it was a little late, and maybe he had had his suspicions before, and maybe kids were making fun of him, but Kendall had always protected him, so he didn't care. It still broke his heart when he saw that Santa was actually his older cousin Andres.

Carlos laughed a little at the memory, looking at himself in the full length mirror as he closed up his last buttons on his burgundy button up. He thought is brought out the brown in his eyes. His heart began racing thinking of the plan he had came up with for tonight. Carlos rolled up his sleeves to an inch of his elbows and ran his fingers through his raven hair one last time before going out into the living room.

Logan was in the kitchen, warming up the food that the caterer had brought just a few hours earlier, as per his strict instructions. Kendall had given up trying to surprise Logan and handed him the phone to set up the final details. He really was acting like an over-protective mother, but he couldn't help it. Doctor Williams had him on estrogen – a woman's hormone – to make it easier for him to carry the baby, so he was all over the place. Logan as grateful to his best friends and fiancée – oh, dear Lord, that sounded nice – fiancée… fiancée… that rolled perfectly off the tip of his tongue. They all had put up with him, his mood swings and cravings so well, never complaining, just being supportive. Well, James had had to put up with Logan's newly found insecurities and constant state of horny-ness. Still he never complained. Logan smiled inwardly. His fiancée…

"LOGAN!" Carlos yelled.

"What? What?"

"Can't you smell you're burning something?"

"Oh my…" Logan made and took the pan off the heat. Thankfully the food wasn't completely ruined – just a little… smoked… on the bottom. Logan put the salvageable food in a different pot and began scraping the burnt one clean before putting it in the dishwasher.

"Loges, leave it – I'll do that." Carlos offered.

"It's ok Los…"

"Loges, let me…"

"Carlos, I'm pregnant, not handicapped."

"You're pregnant – you should take advantage of that and make your man and friends do everything for you while you keep your feet up. You'll have enough to do when the baby comes. Rest up while you can." Carlos pulled the pot from his hands. Logan chuckled and allowed him to take over cleaning duties. "Go change. You said pretty clothes for Christmas dinner, so – go make yourself pretty for your fiancée." Carlos shooed Logan away from the kitchen, with a smile.

Logan entered his bedroom and flopped down on the bed, on his back, his body bouncing up a little. He loved to bounce back. It made him giggle. He decided a little nap wouldn't hurt. James would wake him up when he'd get back home from his last minute shopping trip. Of course James would leave everything last minute. Logan shook his head affectionately and turned to cuddle James' pillow, their baby kicking gently as if she – yes SHE – would have been disturbed by the movement. Logan fell into a light sleep, rubbing his baby's arm, or foot.

* * *

Carlos cleaned up the kitchen and placed the precious little silver box under the tree. He smiled. Yes it was cheesy. Yes it was childish. But if he wouldn't do all of this he wouldn't be Carlos Garcia. And he knew Kendall would love it.

Carlos gently stood up, his heart racing, his head in a whirl. He was second guessing himself. He looked down at the little box. Maybe he should not leave it there after all. Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe he was screwing everything up. Maybe…

"What's up, Litos?" Kendall's voice rang loud behind him. Carlos smiled and turned to look at Kendall. "Nothing. Just looking to see if Santa brought me anything this year." Kendall smiled wide. "Of course Santa brought you gifts, Los. You're always on his "nice" list." Kendall threw his arm around Carlos' neck, looking under the tree himself. He lifted an eyebrow seeing the little silver box with his name on it. "Hey, I'm on the nice list too!" Kendall exclaimed knowing perfectly well who had placed the little box there, bending down to pick it up. "Kendall!" Carlos smacked Kendall on the back of the head. "OUCHIES!" Kendall turned to look up at Carlos. "You know we're not supposed to open up our gifts until AFTER dinner." Kendall made a face and stood up at his full height, looking down at Carlos a little.

Carlos looked up in Kendall's green eyes. His heart booming in his chest. So loud he was surprised the man in the moon didn't hear it. "Los, what's going on?" Kendall asked. "Nothing. W-W-Why would you think that?" Carlos stuttered a little. Kendall shrugged. "Just got a feeling, that's all." Carlos felt his knees get weak. "Well…nothing's goin' on... so…"

"What up guys?" James broke the moment. Carlos almost let a sigh of relief escape his lips. He wasn't ready yet. He wasn't ready for Kendall to know his mind. Fear still ran through his body. He needed that Christmas dinner first.

"Nothin' much. Just checkin' to see if Santa brought us anything." Kendall replied, his voice casual, but his eyes locked on Carlos'.

"Awesome. And did good old Santy Clause bring me anything?" James asked stepping closer to the tree himself. Carlos moved to make room for James to pass and put his gifts under the tree. He added six different boxes that aroused Carlos' interest, leaving Kendall to stand in the exact same spot and watch his every step. "Wow, Jamie, you brought the whole store, didn't you?" Carlos giggled. "Yeah. " James answered dreamingly placing a small pink box right next to the others after giving it a little kiss. "Where's Logie?" James asked standing back up. "Your room." Kendall replied from the same spot, still watching Carlos' every move. "Thanks, Kendy." James smiled, patting Kendall's shoulder, heading for his and Logan's room.

James found Logan in bed, sleeping, with a hand protectively over his belly. James smiled and joined his family for a little nap, right after setting his alarm clock for half an hour later.

* * *

Carlos got himself busy in the kitchen, leaving Kendall in awe. He sensed Carlos' tension. He knew something was wrong. He didn't know what. It drove him insane. Usually Carlos would confide in him, would tell him every little thing. But tonight… Tonight Carlos was keeping secrets. It got on Kendall's every single last nerve. He wanted nothing more than slam him against the nearest wall and get whatever it was out of him. Kendall huffed. Suddenly his imagination was running wild. He was liking the idea of slamming Carlos against the wall way too much. He got himself a glass of white cooking wine and drowned it whole.

"Take it slow, Kendy. You don't wanna miss dinner." Carlos chuckled, still a bit nervous about the plan he had set in action.

"I would if you'd just tell me what the hell you're hiding." Kendall mumbled as he poured himself another glass of the horrible tasting wine.

"You said something, Ken?" Carlos asked, setting the table.

"Nope" He answered out loud. "If you can keep secrets from me, I can keep secrets from you." Kendall mumbled into his glass, drowning it as well, hoping to fill the emptiness in his heart with the foul tasting liquid.

"Kendall, that's for cooking… If you want a drink, let's just open a bottle…"

"And face Logan? No, thank you, very much!" Kendall poured a third glass.

Carlos came up behind him, placing a hand on his forearm.

"Kendall, please, don't get drunk yet. Let's just have dinner first, ok?" Carlos begged. Kendall gave in. He could never resist a plea that came from Carlos. Not once. Not even as kids. Not even the very first day they had ever met – in pre-k.

Carlos had come in mid-year of last year. He was small and dark and had the biggest, brightest eyes little Kendall had ever seen. He was small and shy and Kendall raised his hand so that the teacher could tell the little new boy to sit with him. That very day Carlos had asked him to let him swing in his favorite swing. His eyes went wide-wide-wide and became filled with hope seeing the big, purple swing that was Kendall's favorite. So Kendall said "yes". He even pushed Carlos as hard as his little hands could push, laughing loudly, but not because he had fun, but because Carlos was laughing happily, swinging away in his purple swing.

It was the same today. When Carlos asked something of him, when Carlos looked at him with his big brown eyes open wide and ask for something Kendall would say "yes" in the blink of an eye. He had no other answer for his friend. Even if his heart felt empty. Even if Carlos keeping secrets from him hurt so much. He still said "yes" and put the wine back in the fridge, washed his glass and helped Carlos set up the table to Logan's liking.

* * *

The alarm clock rang annoyingly loud and woke Logan up. He didn't remember setting up an alarm. Then he moved the slightest bit and felt James' warm body behind him, hugging him. James stirred and snoozed the alarm, hoping to have a little more cuddling time with his favorite persons in the world.

"Hi." Logan greeted.

"Hi." James rolled on his back and stretched his legs a little – taking up almost three quarters of the bed as he did so. Logan rolled a little, so his back was now resting on James' chest.

"Where were you?"

"Shopping."

"Last minute?"

"Always. You know me."

Logan shook his head, linking his fingers to James. His ring catching one of the last rays of light of the day, sparkling as if it were filled with joy.

"Come on. We need to get ready for dinner."Logan said, moving away from James, feeling rather like a duck as he got off the bed. James followed his example, slipping right into the clothes Logan had set up for him. Yeah, his Logan was acting more and more like his wife with every passing day. And James was enjoying every single second. He loved being taken care of. Honestly, Logan was spoiling him, making him feel like the most important, most loved, most cherished person on the face of the planet. He did his best to make Logan feel half of all of this but he wasn't sure he was succeeding.

Logan turned to see James already dressed, looking like a true angel. He had to lean against the dresser behind him for his knees were about to give in. "You're so beautiful." Logan whispered. A dreamy look in his eyes. James smiled. "Thank you, baby." James closed the distance between the two of them, pecking Logan's lips lightly. "But I'm not nearly as beautiful as you, my gorgeous fiancée." James purred in Logan's ear, before pecking his lips once more and letting go. "I'll go check on the guys. Come join us when you're ready." Logan nodded and got back to dressing.

He was happy he'd gotten something new to wear. His clothing had all become too small for him. He felt like a walking, talking barrel. But every single time depression got the best of him, Logan thought of why he was as big as he was and he began to smile. A daughter. James' daughter. Their daughter. Made of them both. Their child.

Logan dreamed of her. He knew that the darker genes would take precedence, so, their baby would have his brown eyes and his dark hair, but James' skin. He smiled at the vision in his head and finished getting dressed.

He walked out into the living room, feeling just a little tired only to find Carlos, Kendall and James laughing while putting food on the table.

"Hey." He said, a hand over his large belly.

"Logan, man, you should've seen James' face!" Carlos kept bouncing up and down. Logan understood nothing but let it pass and got involved in the conversation.

That was the first Christmas they spent on their own. Just the four of them. Having fun, laughing, needing no one and nothing else. They enjoyed it knowing that coming next Christmas at least one more little person will be added to their celebrations.

Half hour to midnight they decided they were drunk enough – all of them but Logan, of course – to start opening their gifts. That moment Carlos sobered up in a second.

James decided to play Santa, since most of the gifts under the tree had been placed there by him. It was way pasted midnight when James only had two more gifts to give and the whole living room was covered in all kinds of colors from the wrapping paper.

Logan spotted the little pink box.

"Who's that for, Santa?" Logan asked happily.

"Well… emmm… why don't you see for yourself?" James told him shyly, handing him the small pink box, no bigger than the palm of his hand.

Logan looked down. The note said Emily Diamond. A single tear fell down Logan's face as his fingers gently caressed the box. "That's where you went today?" He asked in a small voice. James nodded "yes", his heart racing, awaiting Logan's reaction. Carlos had a hand over his mouth to keep from awing and Kendall was smiling from ear-to-ear through the fumes of alcohol in his head.

Logan took off the small pink lid to reveal a pair of white baby socks with a little pink ruffle on the top. Logan took them out gingerly, as if they were precious china that would break under his touch. Tears were streaming down Logan's face, his smile wide on his beautiful face.

"Emily…" He whispered looking up a James.

"You like it?" James asked, standing up from his place next to the tree to go and take Logan's hands in his.

"I love it, Jamie. It's perfect. Perfect, just like you." Logan said between happy tears, kissing James on the lips, their hands linked over the little pair of baby socks.

James hugged Logan to his chest. Logan closed his eyes and yawned a little. "You're tired, baby. Let me take you to bed." Logan nodded and James picked him up in his arms, saying their "good night and merry Christmas" to their two friends.

James made Logan stand while he got him changed for bed, then helped him get under the covers. He smiled when he realized that his fiancée was still holding on tight to the little pair of socks. He quickly got changed for bed and snuggled up against Logan's back.

"I love you." James whispered as he drifted into sleep.

* * *

After James took Logan to sleep Carlos knew he had no more reason or excuse to back away from the plan he'd made that morning. "There's one more gift…" Carlos said in a small voice, half hoping Kendall had not heard his words.

"Yeah… I know…" Kendall replied with a bit of a grudge, getting up, swaying a little from all the alcohol he had drunk and awkwardly bending down to pick the small silver box. "What do you know. It's for me!" Kendall pretended to be surprised through a hick-up.

Carlos almost died seeing his "gift" in Kendall's hands.

Kendall took it back to his seat on the couch. Carlos sat down next to him. Really close. "What did you get?" Carlos asked, putting on a brave face. "You tell me." Kendall replied, looking him in the eyes. Carlos smiled. "How should I know. It's your gift."

Kendall shrugged. This game Carlos was playing was getting in his very last nerve. He begrudgingly took the lid off, looking Carlos in the eyes. Carlos kept his eyes on Kendall's without fear or shame. It was too late to back away now – he'd set the wheels in motion, come what may!

Kendall turned his eyes down into the little box. All he found was a piece of paper. He took it out. It only said "Thank you." He looked at Carlos in amazement.

"Thank you for always being there. Protecting me. Listening to me. Indulging me. Taking care of me every single time I'm hurt or scared or alone. Thank you, Kendall." Carlos said before leaning in and kissing his lips. Just a soft little kiss that made his insides tingle.

Kendall couldn't even react. Carlos' words had frozen him, but his lips were making his blood boil. Soft and gentle and sweet. Kendall's senses were on over-load. But just as quick as it started Carlos' kiss ended and Kendall felt empty. He looked at Carlos who shied his eyes away from him.

Kendall hadn't reacted to his kiss. Carlos felt miserable. Unwanted. Hurt. He had gotten his hopes up so high. He had thought that, maybe, just maybe, for all the protection Kendall had always provided him with, all the care he had taken with him, of him, maybe, just maybe, Kendall felt… more. But he didn't and Carlos was crushed beyond words.

He got up to leave to his room but Kendall caught his wrist and pulled him into his lap, capturing his lips with his own. Carlos' heart began flying. His arms snuck behind Kendall's neck and he opened up to the kiss, letting Kendall take complete control. He lost himself in the moment. Kendall tasted of banana split and champagne. Banana split, champagne and something more. Carlos' head began to whirl in pink, fluffy clouds.

Kendall's hands went around Carlos' waist with ease. It felt so natural to kiss his Carlos like that. Even through the buzz of alcohol in his head, Kendall knew he never wanted to stop. Ever. He kept kissing Carlos with everything he had, getting a tiny little moan from Carlos, the vibration spreading through his entire body in the most delicious of ways. Soon his lungs began needing air, but Kendall didn't care – kissing Carlos was more important.

Carlos pulled apart a little, panting for air.

"That's a "thank you" kiss." Kendall smiled and Carlos blushed bright red, trying to get up. "Where are you going?" Kendall asked with sadness. "To bed…" Carlos answered innocently, before he even realized what he had said. Kendall giggled. "Can I join you?" He wiggled his eyebrows not so innocently. Carlos smacked Kendall's chest lightly. "Only if you'll hold me while I sleep." Kendall nodded.

Carlos got up and helped Kendall to his bedroom, putting him to bed, before going to his own room to change and get ready for bed. He sighed as he thought what he should do – join Kendall or snuggle up in his own bed. He sighed again and got in his own bed.

Five minutes later he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around him. "You said we could cuddle, but never came back." Kendall sighed, pulling Carlos close to his chest. Carlos smiled. He felt Kendall fall asleep. He soon fell asleep himself, with a huge grin on his face.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's notes:**

**Here you go my beloved readers, chapter 11 finally up. It's a bit more Kenlos in this one, I promise I have a reason. Hope you like it, my lovelies! **

**As usual - thank you Kimmie ad Scarlett. You make me happy with your beautiful words.**

**So, to all my lovely, beautiful readers - please don't shy away from reviewing. It makes my day.**

**Love!**

* * *

December 26th. The first day of his life when Carlos woke up wrapped up in Kendall's arms. Well not really the first – they had slept together before… as friends, at sleepovers, but this – this was different, oh so different. It was 5 am but he couldn't sleep. He needed to see Kendall's face. While he still could. He'd wake up soon, with a hangover the size of Santa's big red belly! Carlos sighed quietly and turned to face Kendall. He moved super slow on his wobbly water mattress, so he would not wake Kendall and sighed real quietly when he was faced to Kendall's naked chest. "_Funny. I remember getting a t-shirt on him last night… Not that I'm complaining."_ Carlos thought and looked up a little, right into Kendall's green eyes.

Kendall smirked. "What are you doing?" Carlos blushed adorably. "Trying not to wake you…" Carlos moved his eyes from Kendall's. Which wasn't such a good idea, because the sight of a half naked Kendall, holding him tight after kissing the way they had last night had Carlos facing a small problem with the confides of his boxer briefs. A problem which only grew when Kendall pulled him closer, making Carlos rest his cheek on Kendall's chest.

"Ken.."

"Yes, Los."

"What are we doing?"

"Cuddling."

Carlos didn't say a word but Kendall could feel his heart rate picking up.

"Last night you said we could."

Carlos' heart began to race even harder. "You… remember l-last night?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"C-cause y-you were s-s-so d-d-drunk… I… I… I…"

"You don't want me to remember?" Kendall said in a teasing tone of voice, his heart half stopping, waiting for Carlos' answer.

"N-no… i-it's not that… ju-just…" Kendall got more courage from Carlos' shyness.

"Just what, Los?"

"I… I don't know, Ken, ok, I don't know." Carlos tried to move, get some distance between the two of them. Run away. Lock himself someplace and stay there until Kendall forgot last night even ever happened. Kendall wrapped his arms around him tighter, in a death grip, cutting Carlos' air supply a little, but not caring.

"Don't run." He whispered in Carlos' hair. "Don't run." His arms were hurting from the strength he was using to hold Carlos in place, but he didn't let go. Not for a long time. Not until he finally felt Carlos relax. Just a little.

Carlos finally gave up running away. He finally realized that this was Kendall. He'd chase Carlos to the ends of the world and beyond. He always had. He'd never left Carlos alone. Kendall would never do that. Let him run away. Let him hide. Carlos gave in and hugged Kendall tight.

"I'm scared, Ken."

"Of what?" His voice still no higher than a whisper.

"Of what last night can mean."

"What do you want it to mean, Carlos?"

Carlos felt Kendall's heart begin to race in time with his.

"I don't know, Kendall. I just don't know."

"Then why did you kiss me."

"Because…"  
"Because what?"

"Because I needed to show you how much you mean to me."

"You could have done that with a couple of season's tickets to the Lakers."

"Kendall!" Carlos lifted his face to look Kendall in the eyes. Kendall was blown away by the determination in Carlos' eyes. "You know you mean much more to me then a couple of stinkin' tickets!" Carlos burst out before he could control himself.

"You've never told me… How could I know?"

Carlos flipped Kendall in the arm. Kendall smiled. And tightened his grip on Carlos again.

"Why kiss me, though?" Kendall tried again. He now felt Carlos' heart beat against his in the same rhythm. He had to push. He had to get it out of Carlos. The truth. He wouldn't allow Carlos to keep any more secrets. It just drove him insane.

"Be-because… I told you… I wanted to sh-show you how… much you mean to me." Carlos shied his eyes away again.

"I can't mean that much… you barely did anything…" Kendall teased, trying to get on Carlos' nerves and get him to spill his soul. Carlos gasped audibly.

"I didn't…" He squealed in a James-Diamond-worthy-way. "I only kissed my best friend in the world, risked everything in the process… you're right – I barely did anything!" Carlos yelled, trying to run away once again. Kendall didn't allow it. "Let go, Kendall! Let me go!"

"Never." Kendall just held on.

It took a while for Carlos to understand what Kendall was really saying. When he did he stopped fighting to get free and looked up at Kendall. Something he'd never seen was written deep inside Kendall's dizzying green gaze.

"What?" Carlos whispered, heart once again racing.

"I'll never let you go, Carlos. Never."

Before Carlos knew what was happening Kendall was kissing him again. In full daylight. With every inch of passion he had held inside of him for so many years, without even realizing he had done so. Carlos kissed back – his eyes wide open, his lips parted, his body responding as if it were not his own anymore. He kept looking at Kendall's closed eyelids. He could not believe this was happening. When Kendall deepened their kiss, Carlos closed his eyes and gave his whole being into the feeling of being wanted this way by a person he'd loved all of his life without knowing that he did.

"Kendall… I…" Carlos broke their kiss. Kendall caressed his hair.

"Me too."

Kendall quieted Carlos down with another deep, long kiss. Carlos sighed, and moved his hand behind Kendall's head, pulling him even closer.

* * *

James woke up to an empty bed. He listened closely for any sounds coming from the bathroom. When he heard nothing he turned around to see Logan sit on the window seat, a maternity book in his hand, the other resting on his belly, rubbing small circles.

"You look good in my shirt." James uttered instead of a "good morning".

Logan smiled and turned to look at James. "Hi."

James spotted the little socks sitting next to Logan and smiled.

"Why are you up so early?" James asked, stretching his legs.

"Emily woke up kicking." Logan smiled.

"Emily… you really like the name?" James stood up. He hadn't thought Logan would agree with him so easily. Lately he had to fight over everything and anything and drive James insane at least twice a day or he wasn't happy. Yeah – life with pregnant Logan was far from easy. He had thought of strangling Logan with his bare hands once or… twelve times.

"I love it, Jamie. It's perfect." Logan's smile melted James on the inside. It never failed.

"I'm happy you like it, baby."

"I was thinking…" Logan bit his lower lip, looking at his hands. "Emily Danielle Diamond." He whispered.

"Danielle?" James propped himself up on his elbows. "Danielle?" His voice was getting a bit higher. Logan feared that. He sighed as James stood up. "As in Dan? Dan Williams?!" James exploded, his jealousy getting the better of him. Logan sighed.

"Yes…"

"Logan…" James lifted his arms, jealousy pouring from his every pore.

"Baby, stop being jealous. It's not like that. I want to thank him somehow for all the care he's been giving me. And Danielle is a beautiful name. And it sounds so good…"

James sighed. "Logan…" James let his arms drop. Emily Danielle Diamond. It really did sound lovely. "I… naming our baby after the doctor?"

"After the hot doctor." Logan teased.

"LOGAN!"

Logan laughed. "I love you so much."

"Fine! Emily Danielle." James gave up with a sigh.

"Did you hear that, Em, Daddy agreed." Logan told his belly.

James melted at the sight. And the sound. "Daddy." James had turned into a puddle of mushy-mushy love standing in the middle of their bedroom. He stepped to Logan and sat down at his feet. "What are you reading?" He asked, resting his chin on Logan's bended knee.

"About how our baby will evolve this week." Logan shrugged, handing James the book.

"When's the next baby scan?" James asked looking at how their baby would grow.

"Tomorrow."

James just nodded. "You'll need to go to the Hamptons soon…" James sighed, closing the book.

"I know. I'm not looking forward to that." Logan let his head fall back on the wall behind him.

"We still have a bit of time till that happens." James smiled taking Logan's hand.

"Maybe we could ask Gustavo to let you come with me…"

"Baby, you know Kendall, Carlos and I will be doing press for the album…"

"A guy can dream…"

"Baby, please. I can't see you sad."

Logan shrugged, looking down. He desperately wanted James by his side. He was scared about the birth. He was cared about how his body would react when it came time. He knew he might be in danger just because his male body wasn't made for carrying a baby. He sighed. James moved next to him, kneeling down.

"You'll be alright, love. Dan will take good care of you and Emily. You'll be fine. And I'll do everything I can to convince Gustavo to let me be there when time comes. Please don't be sad."

"I'm scared, Jamie. Happy. Excited. But scared out of my mind. I want to see Emily grow up. I want to be your husband. I want to take care of you both for the rest of my life." Logan looked down at James face, trying to imprint his beloved features in the memory of his soul.

James got up, scooped Logan in his arms and sat down, gently placing Logan in his lap, cradling him and their baby. "You'll do that, you'll do all of that, Logie. I promise. You will, ok"

"You can't promise that…" Logan whispered into James' chest.

"Yes I can. And I'll kill Dan if he breaks my promise."

"Jamie…"

"Logan I love you. I am not losing you. Not even for Em. Not for anything. You're mine, Logan. We're growing old and gray and wrinkly together. And that's the end of the story!" James held Logan tight to his chest.

Logan chuckled. "Old and grey and wrinkly. I like that thought."

"Me too, my angel."

"Old, grey, wrinkly James Diamond." Logan teased. James let out one of his signature squeals. Logan chuckled. "And you say I'm the girl." Logan giggled.

* * *

10 am found Carlos and Kendall still making out. They were almost making up for lost time. Years and years of lost time. Kendall had pinned Carlos between the moving mattress and his body, easily finding his place between Carlos' legs.

He hadn't thought he could ever feel this good. Being on top of Jo had been nice, her soft shapes pleasurable under his touch, making his body react and desire, but never like this. He had never thought that a man's body under his would make his blood boil to the point where he lost track of time and reality.

Carlos' smooth chest felt delicious under his touch. His skin sweet on Kendall's lips, as sweet as it looked, as sweet as caramel. His lips softer than any girls' Kendall had ever kissed. His tongue like velvet. Kendall felt his sanity slip away from him in the whirl of overloaded senses.

"Carlos." He whispered like a chant in his ear.

"Yes, Kendall."

"Why didn't we do this sooner?" Kendall kissed along Carlos' jaw.

Carlos pulled at Kendall's honey like hair, making him lift his head, looking him in the eyes.

"Kendall…"

"Tell me."

"What does this make us?"

"What do you want this to make us?" Kendall tried to kiss Carlos again, but felt his hair being pulled again and looked in Carlos' eyes. Fear clearly melted with the beautiful brown shade.

"Kendall, I'm serious."

"Boyfriends, Carlos. Boyfriends." Carlos gasped. "If you want to try."

"I want to."

"Good." Kendall leaned down. This time Carlos not only allowed him to, but pulled Kendall down, opening his lips just slightly, eager to taste Kendall again.

"Kendall… I…" Carlos tried again after a little while. Kendall didn't let him finish.

"I know, Litos. So do I."

They kissed again. Slowly. Gently. But with such hunger it felt like they were both consumed by a single kiss. Like neither could live without the other's touch.

"I'm happy." Carlos said again when the both needed air. Kendall nodded in agreement, letting his head rest on Carlos' shoulder.

"So am I." He smiled. "I'm so happy you kissed me for Christmas. It was the single best present I ever got." Carlos smiled, hugging Kendall close to his chest.

"Promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Promise me that you'll always hold me the way you did today. That you'll never let me run away." Carlos asked.

Kendall lifted his head, looked at Carlos. "I promise. I'll never let you run away from me. And even if you try, I'll follow you to the ends of the Earth."

"Always?"

"Always."

Carlos chuckled. "That will make you… the girl."

Kendall opened his eyes and mouth wide. "Carlos Garcia!" he began tickling Carlos mercilessly. Carlos was kicking and wiggling beneath him, laughing so hard tears were falling down his beautiful face. "Kendy, stop it, please!" Carlos managed between laughs.

"Say uncle." Kendall didn't light up.

"Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!" Carlos cried out. Kendall still didn't stop.

"Say I'm not the girl." Kendall hissed in his ear, sending shivers down Carlos' back, making him arch his back without thinking. The sudden movement caused Kendall's fingers to lose their lightness, gripping at Carlos' hips, making Carlos release a little moan of pleasure that took them both by surprise.

Kendall stopped moving. Carlos straightened his back, resting on the mattress completely. Their eyes met. Unasked and unanswered questions beaming inside both of them. Kendall tried to move away. Carlos stopped him.

"Don't stop." He whispered.

"I…am scared."

"That make two of us. Just…"

Kendall moved his fingers again, digging them just a little in Carlos' hips. Carlos bit his lip. Kendall's hand moved higher. He saw with delight that Carlos' nipples had hardened. He ran his thumb over one of them. Carlos let out a little moany gasp. Kendall did that again before moving his hand to Carlos' beautifully shaped bicep. His fingers light as feathers. Testing Carlos' reactions. The goose bumps gave him an inkling.

Kendall stood up, on his knees, between Carlos' open legs. Carlos looked at him in amazement.

"Get up." He ordered gently and Carlos obeyed. "Lean against the pillows." Carlos did so, sitting against the pillows, a question on his face. "I want to see what you like." Kendall answered him. "See everything. Your every reaction." Kendall leaned down and kissed Carlos on the lips with such gentleness it caused butterflies inside Carlos' bell. Carlos nodded.

Kendall saddled Carlos' lap and kissed his shoulder. More goose bumps. "You have to talk to me."

"Talk to you?"

"Tell me how it makes you feel. Tell me if you like it. Tell me how much you like it." Kendall said slowly, running a finger tip down Carlos' neck, Carlos moving his head to the side, exposing his neck to Kendall's touch, his eyes closed, enjoying every sensation.

"Ken…" Carlos sighed.

"Tell me how much you like it."

"Mmmm…"  
"That doesn't help me, Carlos." Kendall placed a small kiss, barely brushing his lips against the sweet skin, on Carlos' earlobe. A shiver moved through Carlos, shaking his whole body.

"I… how…?" Carlos mumbled, pleasure streaming through his veins.

Kendall straightened up. Carlos already missed his touches. Kendall sat back on his legs, thinking. "Hmmm…"

"Kendall…" Carlos regained some sanity. "I never knew you like to torture people."

"I don't want to torture you, Litos. I want to pleasure you."

"Then kiss me again."

"But I need to know if I'm doing a good job, Los." Kendall pouted. It was so not Kendall's nature to pout that Carlos had no choice but to smile as he caressed his cheek.

"You're adorable." Kendall beamed. "OK, fine. How do you want me to tell you how much pleasure you're giving me?" Carlos chuckled.

"How about… a scale from one to ten?" Carlos widened his eyes. "As in…one…" Kendall kissed Carlos' finger tips. Carlos blushed. "To ten." Kendall gently squeezed Carlos through his boxer briefs. Carlos let out a little surprised moan of pleasure, his eyes closing for just a split second. When he opened his eyes again his pupils were dilated in lust.

"That's a 12!" He said, swallowing, trying to hold back from ripping the last piece of cloth covering Kendall's body and fucking him into next week.

Kendall giggled. "Ok. You get the point then."

"Yeah, I do… but, just look what you did." Carlos said looking down at his own underwear where a wet spot had made its way to the surface. Kendall followed his gaze and licked his lips clearly seeing Carlos' hard length through the thin piece of cloth.

"Did I do that?" Kendall pretended to shy at his actions.

"Mhmm."

"Let's see what else I can do." Kendall leaned in and kissed Carlos on the lips.

"Mmm…Six." Carlos rated.

"Only?" Kendall asked in surprise.

"Yeah." Carlos shrugged.

"Only? I'm not as good a kisser as I thought…"

"Practice does make perfect." Carlos smiled.

"You tease." Kendall leaned in and kissed Carlos again, giving everything he had into that one single kiss.

"Mmm…Six…and a half." Carlos said with a smile.

"You're such a bitch." Kendall laughed.

"You're the one who wanted to be graded." Carlos shrugged.

"What am I gonna do with you?" Kendall asked gently. Carlos shrugged again.

"Get me a corndog?"He asked with a smile.

Kendall's face fell. "You'll never change, will you?"

"Nope."

"Good. Because I… will get you that corndog." Kendall said getting off the bed and left the room. Carlos laughed, letting his body slide down on the bed until his back was fully back on the mattress.

* * *

Kendall got out of Carlos' room with a giant smile on his face, ending up face-to-face with James, freezing on the spot.

"What's going on here?" James asked, a wide, knowing smirk on his face. Kendall shrugged.

"Getting my boyfriend a corndog."

James froze. "WHAT?!"

"You heard me." Kendall shrugged and walked to the kitchen.

Before he could even open the refrigerator, however, he was swept up his feet, James' strong arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him in a hug, spinning him around like a rag doll. Kendall got dizzy.

"Congratulations!" James yelled, putting Kendall down. "Finally."

"Huh?"

"Dude! I knew you loved each other the second I saw you all cuddled up in his bed a few months back. It took you a while."

"Since when are you so insightful?" Kendall asked in awe, not even a drop of meanness in his voice.

"Since I'm gonna be a daddy." James smiled hugging Kendall again.

"Jamie?!" Logan's voice came from the hallway.

"Baby!" James let go of Kendall to rush to Logan's side. "Great news."

"What?" Logan asked with a frown, his jealousy making him see green a little.

"Kendall and Carlos…" James started.

"… are a couple now." Kendall finished with smugness, finally getting his boyfriend's corndog out of the refrigerator.

Logan squealed. You could definitely tell he was spending most of his time with James.

"Congrats!" He said opening his arms to allow Kendall to give him an awkward hug over his ever growing belly, feeling stupid for being jealous of his best friend.

"Thanks. Don't tell Carlos you know yet? I need to make him squirm over your reactions, pay him back for being a little bitch this morning." Kendall said with a smirk.

James shrugged but Logan pointed out that wasn't very nice. "Ok, mom! I got it." Kendall waved his hand over his shoulder, heading back to Carlos' room, leaving James and Logan to their own activities while he went to spoil his new boyfriend a little.

* * *

"Wait until Gustavo hears about this." Logan told James as they saw down to eat breakfast – or was it lunch by now?

"Yeah… and about this." James said, taking Logan's hand, kissing his ring finger. The one that held HIS ring.

"Oh." Logan said looking at the beautiful ring. "He'll have a seizure."

James chuckled. Logan smiled. Yeah. That would be a "nice" day at Rocque Records.

"Logie…"

"Mmmm?" Logan replied, still looking at his hand.

"We still have to tell…"

"Our mothers." Logan finished.

He hadn't been ok with telling their parents over the phone, planning to go home for Holidays. Dan hadn't allowed him to travel so he was now going on six months pregnant and neither of their mothers was aware of his state. Logan sighed.

"We should fly them to the Hamptons." Logan thought out loud.

"That way you won't be alone. That's a great idea."

"And Dan will be there to take care of them if they take it bad… Well, I'm pretty sure mom will be ok with us dating… just the baby…"

"Mom will be ok with us as well." James stated, showing a bit too much certainty. Logan saw through him.

"Brooke is tough to predict…" Logan tried to make it better.

"I wanna be there. When we tell them."

"We'll talk to them and Gustavo tomorrow, when we get back at the studio. Shoot two birds with one stone…"

James agreed. He feared his mother's reaction, but it wasn't like she had anything to do about it, James thought. Now, thanks to Big Time Rush, he and Logan had enough money to support themselves without Brooke Diamond's financial help. He just dreamed that his daughter would get to meet both her grandmothers and feel them both love her. He didn't let his insecurity show. Logan didn't need that. Instead James smiled and went on with getting their meal ready.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's notes:**

**This chapter was a bit unexpected and a lot unplanned for, but it came out this way and I rather like it, so - hope you do too. Please give me your feed-back, mean THE WORLD to me, I'm seriously not kidding.**

**Thank you Kimmie and Scarlett for your continuous support and thank you Clarice for your kind words. I've still have a bit of way to take them. Hope you'll still like my story.**

**Love you all, my dear, dear readers.**

* * *

"Baby, are you ready?" James called at the bathroom door, with a sigh.

"NO! Nothing fits anymore. I'm huge. I can't go out looking like this, James. What will people think when they see pictures of this?" Logan stepped out of the bathroom wearing a yellow t-shirt that was covering barely half of his belly.

"That you're gorgeous." James giggled, caressing the underside of Logan's belly, over the exposed skin, earning a little kick from someone who, apparently agreed. "See, Emily agrees." James giggled again.

"Well, it's nice to know you two still like me, but our fans won't agree… I need a bigger shirt."

"Take one of my button-ups. Here. Red always brings out your eyes." James said throwing Logan one of his favorite button-ups.

Logan sighed and threw his t-shirt on the bed, putting on James' button-up. It smelled like James. It made Logan feel like James was hugging him. Maybe this wasn't such a bad choice.

"I need bigger clothes." Logan sighed.

"You can do with mine, for now. You really do look good in my clothing." James kissed Logan on the lips, lightly. "Now, let's go. Dan will kill me for being late… just cause you're pregnant…" James fake pouted.

Logan kissed James back, tip-toeing to do so.

* * *

"Logan, James!" Doctor Dan Williams exclaimed, seeing the couple enter his private office. "You're late!" Dan scolded them, addressing his statement more to James than Logan.

"I can't find anything to wear lately" Logan pouted, hopping on the examination bed.

"What's wrong with your clothes now? You look nice…" Dan tried to be nice.

"It's James' – that's what's wrong."

"He's been complaining the whole way here…"

"Stop complaining." Dan instructed. "Get that off and lay back."

"Yes, doc." Logan obeyed and handing James his shirt.

Doctor Dan got some blue gel on Logan's belly. Logan shivered a little at the cold touch, but also in excitement of seeing his baby again. It had been a whole week since he'd seen her last. He missed the image. He really could not wait to finally get to hold his baby. James sat on the chair beside him as the doctor did his duty and made that magical image appear.

The machine started up, the scanner was on Logan's belly, the sound of his baby's strong heart beat filling the room. Logan beamed turning his face to look at the screen where the shape of a baby – their baby – took over the pixels. Logan teared up. James took his hand.

"Hi, Emily." Logan said at the screen.

"Emily?"

"Yeah… Emily Danielle Diamond. We decided on the name yesterday." Logan told his doctor.

"We decided that she'll be named after you." The doctor's face fell at James' words. "So you'd better bring her into this world safely and take care of her mommy too." James told the doctor, with a smile, before kissing Logan's hand.

"Just because you're adorable…" Logan told James. "You're getting away with calling me "mom" just because you're adorable – and do NOT push your luck, mister." Logan scolded.

"Technically…" James tried but got his arm smacked by the loving back of Logan's hand. He giggled and pretended that it hurt.

"Your baby, oh – I'm sorry – Emily" Dan smiled. "Is just fine, growing by the book, ten fingers, ten toes, a perfectly beating heart and a lovely developing brain…" Dan listed as he went through his normal routine of checking their baby's growth.

Logan smiled so wide his face hurt.

"Thank you." James whispered in his ear. Logan turned to look at him. "For taking such good care of her." Logan nodded and welcomed the kiss James placed on his lips.

"You two are sickeningly cute." Dan uttered printing their weekly scan.

"Dan, when do I have to go to the clinic?" Logan asked with a sigh and a sad look on his face once he has clean of the gel and dressed.

"Mid January, if everything goes as good as it has up until now."

"So…three weeks?" James asked, hugging Logan to him.

"Yes."

"Ok." Logan nodded.

"It is a good idea to have someone come with you." Dan told Logan, looking at James.

"I have to go do press…" James uttered, looking at his own lap.

"I know, baby. It' ok." Logan put his hand over James'. James sighed.

"I hate this. I want to be there."

"Baby, we'll handle it."

James smiled up at Logan, grateful for the understanding his fiancée was capable of. Dan gave them a moment before making the next appointment for early January.

* * *

"Gustavo, we need to talk." Kendall told their fat manager as soon as James and Logan got back from their doctor's appointment.

"What now?" Gustavo had grown accustomed to fearing those little words, especially coming from his dogs. He basically dragged his feet to his office and had them sit on the couch.

"Emm… we have news… " James started. Logan beamed. He opened his wallet and gave James the new picture of their baby. "Meet Emily Danielle." Ha said, standing up, giving Gustavo the picture. "She's perfectly healthy. Dan said she's growing by the book." James beamed.

"Emily Danielle. I like it. What if you'll have a boy?" Gustavo asked, earnestly.

"We're having a girl." Logan replied instantly.

"You finally let Dan tell you the sex?" Carlos jumped up on from his spot.

Logan giggled. "Of course not, Litos. But we're having a girl. Trust me."

"Yeah, trust momma. A mother always knows." James teased, gaining him a smack over the back of the head.

"I told you not to call me that."

"Well… technically…" Kendall said, gaining a smack down as well.

"Emm…" James tried once Gustavo returned their picture and Logan put it away safely, in his wallet, next to all the others they had.

"What?" Gustavo asked. Logan ran a hand through his hair, nervously. Gustavo didn't miss a beat. "What's that?" He pointed at Logan's finger.

"That's what we wanted to talk to you about…" Logan started, looking at his beautiful ring.

"We've decided to get married. Be a proper family." James finished.

Gustavo sighed. "I was expecting this… actually…" He trailed off.

"You did?" all four young men asked as one.

"Yeah… You're forbidden to marry in Vegas!" He shouted, getting back to his normal self.

"Emmm… why?" Carlos whispered.

"Because marriage licenses in Vegas are public. Anyone can do a simple search and find out." Logan replied on the spot. "Ok. We won't." He replied simply. James took his hand and smiled.

"Now, if we're done here…" Gustavo go up from his chair.

"Actually…" Kendall began. Gustavo slammed both his hands on the desk.

"What now DOG?!"

"Carlos and I…"

"…are together now." Carlos finished.

Gustavo slammed one of his chubby hand on his face, so hard it cracked his yellow bug-eyed glasses. "Not you too!"

"Well…"

"Is this contagious?" He asked James – most likely – gesturing wildly with both his hands.

Logan looked at him in awe. "What is "this", Gustavo?" he asked quietly.

"THIS! THIS!" Gustavo yelled again.

"I think he lost his mind." Carlos whispered to Kendall, putting a hand over his mouth.

"Being bisexual or being in love?" Logan tried again.

"UGH!" Gustavo let out and sunk into his chair.

"Being bisexual isn't contagious, Gustavo." Logan got up and walked behind the desk to his manager. Since his pregnancy Logan had been given a lot of slack from the fat man. "But, maybe, love is." He said placing a hand on Gustavo's forearm, knowingly.

Gustavo looked up at Logan. He kept his eyes on Logan for a moment.

"I don't know what to do anymore."

"We'll keep quiet, Gustavo. Like James and Logan are. We promise." Carlos spoke up with so much maturity it blew everyone away. Kendall nodded when he finally got his brain working again. He smiled.

"We promise." He echoed Carlos' words.

"Fine." Gustavo said, with resignation. "When's you next scan." He asked Logan.

"Next week. And in mid January we'll have to go to the Hamptons."

Gustavo nodded. "I'll make sure to book you some radio promotion. Over the phone. You can handle that, can't you?"

"Yeah, sure. I'd love to." Logan beamed.

"I'll have to come up with some other excuse…" Gustavo grunted.

"For?" Logan asked, boldly.

"Your boyfriend missing promotional gigs…" Gustavo replied in a tone of voice as if it were the most obvious thing in the world and Logan was the slowest of the ducklings.

"Fiancée." James corrected immediately.

"Fiancée… It will take some getting used to…" Gustavo uttered.

"Wait – you're letting James come with me?" Logan squealed.

"Emm… should I not?"

"Gustavo! THANK YOU!" Logan yelled, leaning down to hug Gustavo in most awkward of ways, belly hitting belly, while Logan's arms were wrapping around Gustavo's neck.

James beamed. Carlos clapped. Kendall smirked. Gustavo was in shock. Logan was acting so much like a woman lately. It was still hard to grasp. Logan finally let go, tears of happiness in his eyes, moving to hug James and hide his face in James' chest.

"Recording studio. Now." Gustavo shooed them all. "Unless… You two are getting married or pregnant or something?" He said looking at Kendall and Carlos.

"Gustavo, we just started dating yesterday." Kendall giggled.

"We hadn't had time to even practice getting pregnant." Carlos finished.

"La la la la la la la la TOO MUCH INFO!" Logan made, covering his ears, leaving the room.

"We've been hearing your "info" for months now!" Kendall teased walking after Logan.

"La la la la la la la la I can't hear you!"

"Oh, but you will!" Kendall teased and Carlos' eyes widened behind him. James chuckled as Logan kept covering his ears, chanting "la la la la I can't hear you".

* * *

"Can you believe those two?" Kendall asked Carlos that very night, in Kendall's room. Kendall had asked Carlos to share his bed that night. It was only fair since he had spent last night in Carlos' bed. Carlos gave in not because Kendall's reasoning had any rhyme or reason, but because he thought it was so cute the way Kendall tried to pull a blind over his eyes to the fact that he wanted them both to share a bed. Carlos was beaming.

"What?" Carlos asked not understanding Kendall's sudden outburst.

"Logan and James."

"Oh."

"How many times have we heard them have sex?"

Carlos shivered at the memory. He shrugged. "I don't know. I don't count..."

"Dozens! And now… Logan goes all TMI on me? Hypocrites!"

"Kendall…"  
"What?"

"Calm down." Carlos chuckled.

"Why should I?"

"We'll pay them back." Carlos told him on a playful tone.

"Oh…?" Kendall's imagination instantly began racing, seeing Carlos in all kinds of positions. He was surprised at the extent and detail of the images inside his head, but…

"Yeah… at one point…" Carlos blushed. He was scared to push his luck. After all, yesterday when they had had the chance to do so much more, either Kendall or him had backed away, not even getting a better touch… Carlos sighed inwardly, regretting he hadn't followed his instincts or fucking Kendall into his mattress when he had had the chance.

Kendall sighed and got under the covers, looking at Carlos, an invitation in his eyes. Carlos slowly moved and got under the covers, into Kendall's open arms. Kendall kissed his lips and Carlos accepted and replied eagerly to his kiss.

"I could get used to this." Kendall said, closing his arms around Carlos, as tightly as he could.

"Well, I'm your boyfriend, so you'd better." Carlos giggled.

"I love that…"

"What?"

"That sound…"

"Which sound?"

"The sound you make when you giggle at something I say."

"Oh?"

"I've always loved it. Your giggling and your laughter… yeah… that sound makes me happy."

"I didn't know…"

"Now you do." Kendall replied, kissing Carlos' lips once more.

"Kendy?"

"Yeah Los."

"I know we're both tired and all… but…"

"Just tell me. You know I hate it when you keep stuff from me."

"Yeah… I was thinking…"

"That's never a good sign." Carlos flicked Kendall's nipple. "Ouchies!"

"That's what you get for being mean when I'm serious."

"Sorry, Litos. Go on."

"I've been thinking… I… I wanna… ugh!"

"Don't blush, Los. Just tell me. Whatever it is. Tell your Kendy."

"That's just it."

"What?"

"MY Kendy…"

"Huh?"

"I want you to be mine… like… MINE… and… how does that work?" Carlos simply hid his face in Kendall's chest, feeling it burn bright red to the tips of his ears.

Kendall needed a moment to process the information.

"How does what work…? OOOOHH! That!" Kendall finally caught on. He blushed as well. "Well… we have hands and mouths and… you know." Kendall groped Carlos' ass. Carlos yelped in surprise.

"You mean like…"

"Aham."

Carlos turned tomato red. He hid his face again. "I need to do research…" He mumbled.

"You sound like Logan."

"Yeah, well – I've never been with a guy before, Ken. I really REALLY do not know what I'm supposed to do."

"Neither have I…"

"So – Logan's way – the best way right now!"

"What have you done with my Carlos? My sweet irresponsible Carlos…"

"I haven't done anything. You have. You've made him your boyfriend and he doesn't want to hurt you… or himself… because that… that sounds painful… I've seen you naked before, Ken… that's not… I mean… ugh! Just forget it…" Carlos said turning his back to Kendall.

"Don't run." Kendall whispered in his ear, spooning him from behind.

"I'm not."

"Good. Then turn back around."

Carlos sighed but obeyed. "Better?"

"Much." Kendall pecked Carlos' lips. "I've seen you too, remember?" Carlos licked his lips thinking of the many times they'd seen one another in the boys' locker room after hockey practice or games. Back then he wouldn't have dared to dream of being with Kendall this way.

"Yeah…"

"You're no walk in the park either." Kendall smiled at Carlos' blush. "We'll read up together. Maybe… we could even ask…"

"NO!" Carlos almost yelled before Kendall could finish.

"Ok… we won't ask. Thank God for the internet." Kendall chuckled.

"But not just now – let's get some sleep."

"Ok. Sleep well. Boyfriend." Carlos smiled with all of his heart.

"Good night, Kendy. My boyfriend. I l-lo.. I'll get you a corndog in the morning!" Carlos finished awkwardly, kissing Kendall's lips.

* * *

Time passed before they knew it. New Year came and went, leaving behind the sweetest memory of the first New Year's kiss as a couple for all four young men. "Just think – next year it's not gonna be just the four of us anymore." Carlos had told them, wrapped up in Kendall's arms, looking at a slightly blushing Logan. "You guys wanna be Emily's godparents?"James asked without warning, in the middle of a completely different conversation. Kendall just nodded, speechless and Carlos simply pounced him in one of his signature hugs, bringing him, tumbling, to the couch. "I'm taking that as a "yes", right?" James laughed, trying to awkwardly hug Carlos back – but is was kind of hard seeing how Carlos had somehow managed to pin both his arms in his hug. Logan laughed with his whole heart. Yeah, New Year was a good memory.

When January came, Logan dreaded it. He had to leave his home and travel. He had to settle in who knows what new place. He had to tell his parents. He had lived in a little protective bubble for a few months now. He liked his bubble. He didn't want to leave his bubble. James would be there, but… Logan was cranky and sad. He didn't want to go to some weird clinic down in the Hamptons. He wanted to be at home. Period. Except… Logan had to go to some weird clinic, for the good of his baby. For Emily's sake. That was the only reason why Logan got out of bed on January 17th.

He woke up to an empty bed and a room full of luggage. Mostly James' luggage. Three bags of James' luggage! His fiancée was such a girl! Logan shook his head then saw the little red bag that had Emily's clothing, baby bottles, diapers, blanket and toys. Gustavo had allowed them to buy online and have them delivered at the studio, but had forced them to buy in neutral colors – just in case. Logan had fought with Gustavo. Many times. But he finally had to buy white baby clothing and geometrical patterns on the bottles, just to shut him up.

Logan sighed and got out of bed, duck-walking his way to the bathroom. It took him for-e-ver to get a shower and clothes on. James' clothes! His wouldn't fit and he couldn't find anything he liked online. On the plus side – smelling James on him all day long wasn't that bad. It, somehow, made Logan feel safe and loved. After almost an hour Logan finally duck-walked – yes, that's he's walk now, thank you, very much! not that he had any say in the matter or liked it…the things a mother is willing to do for his child…yes, he's a mother and if anyone tells James that he's thinking as such, Logan will kill them…kill them DEAD! – his way to the kitchen, to find James cooking his breakfast and something for the road.

"Morning, beautiful." James greeted him. Logan couldn't help but smile. How James could still see him as "beautiful" was beyond him. He now had a double chin, for God's sake! But his dimples were showing like almost all the time…maybe that was cute?

"Hi." Logan sat down on the bar stool he had bought for himself a couple of months back – it was at the same level as his butt, so he had no problem getting on and off the thing, and it had nice, trust worthy, thick, metal legs, good for weight bearing, plus the seat was extra comfy.

"What's wrong, baby?" Logan sighed. James was so in tune with his every feeling. Who would have thought that shallow James Diamond would turn out to be such a perfect lover and father.

"Nothing… I just don't wanna go."

"I know, baby. I know."

"But it's for Emily, right?"

"It is, but I didn't say a word. And you know Dan needs his equipment to be able to take care of the both of you during delivery." James said placing a plate of food in front of Logan. It smelled divine so Logan dug right in making a rather moany sound in appreciation. James smiled. These days, if you wanted to distract Logan, you put food in front of him. It had caused Logan to gain a few pounds – to say the least – as it was a bit harder for James to just pick him up and carry him around like he liked to do, but James didn't mind. He knew the reason for all of the weight was their gorgeous baby daughter and he didn't mind, to be honest.

Logan's shapes had become a tad womanly. His ass had gotten bigger, rounder - a pleasure to be touched. He had grown "love handles" that could be very useful when you needed something to hold on to coming down from a high or just wanted more of Logan to kiss or tickle. James loved seeing Logan's dimples all the time, even without him smiling and he didn't even bother that Logan now had a double chin, he kind of found that sexy. Maybe, James thought, he had a little kink for fat, pregnant men… or, maybe he just had a big kink for Logan. James smiled watching Logan eat. He'd always liked watching Logan eat. The sight made him happy somehow. Maybe because Logan had had issues with food as a child and James had helped him through it all or just maybe because Logan had this way of eating that made you smile. Well, it made James smile and that was all that mattered.

"What?" Logan finally asked his mouth half full.

"Chew before you talk." James giggled, leaning back on the fridge. Logan poked his tongue out, a little bit of food still on it. "Lovely." James rolled his eyes. Logan giggled at his little childish revenge and swallowed his food.

"You were staring."

"I love to see you eat."

"You always say that."

"It's the truth."

"Ever since 12th grade."

"Maybe even before."

"You've always been there for me." Logan put his fork down, looking at James with wide eyes.

"Maybe I've always loved you." James smiled. Logan lifted a hand and James moved forward.

"You think… Maybe… We could have been…"

"Made for each other?" James whispered, hugging Logan to his chest. Logan nodded. "The way you take me in, fit me like a glove… I'd say more than maybe." Logan gasped.

"How did you just make this about sex?" Logan moved so he could look James in the eyes.

"Like this." James kissed Logan passionately, turning his hypersensitive libido into overdrive.

"James…" Logan whispered in his bedroom voice.

"We still have half hour before we have to be on the road…" Logan nodded.

James scooped Logan up in his arms. Logan wrapped his arms around James' neck. He allowed James to focus on walking. He was aware or his extra weight and the stress James ad having to carry both him and their baby.

James gently placed Logan on the bed and locked the door. "Stand." He ordered, walking back to the bed, throwing his shirt to the side. Logan stood, not very easily, but he stood. "You're not allowed to touch me, or we'll be in here two hours." James instructed. Logan nodded slightly before opening himself to James' kiss.

James' hot lips left his wanting more, moving to one side, kissing his cheek. "Dimples." James cooed, kissing Logan's cheek again, making him giggle. Before he even knew it, Logan was half naked and James was on his knees, opening his pants, taking him in his mouth. Logan moaned loudly, bracing himself on the bed post. "Fuck, James!" Logan screamed as James made him come down his throat.

With his raging hormones it didn't take much to make Logan come. And it didn't take much to get Logan hardened up again. He could just come all day long, if James would let him. A finger slipped inside Logan while James still had him in his delicious, plump mouth. Logan became instantly hard again. Another finger slipped in and Logan fisted James' hair as much he could because of his belly. James deep throated him and got another finger in, hitting Logan's sweet spot. Logan saw stars. "James…" He breathed out. James hand kept moving inside of him, his mouth turning into a vacuum over Logan's dick. "God!" Logan let out just as James' other hand moved to pinch his already hardened nipple and Logan couldn't take it. He came again, in James' mouth, hold onto his hair for dear life, spasming over James' fingers like nobody's business. Loan began to pant like crazy.

James removed every single touch he had on Logan. Logan whimpered at the loss. "Turn around." James ordered, his voice husky and raw. Logan felt he was growing hard again. He did as he was told. "Bend over." Logan did, just a little, as much as his belly allowed, propping himself with both hands on the bed post again. An appreciative moan came from behind him and Logan shivered at the sound. He felt beautiful and wanted.

James got himself fully naked and stepped behind Logan, covering his body with his own, feeling Logan shiver in pleasure. James kissed the back of Logan's neck. Another shiver passed through Logan. "Please." Logan begged. James kneeled behind Logan, kneading his ass, his beautiful, round, perfect ass. Spreading his cheeks a little, exposing Logan's hole. An appreciative sound escaped his lips and Logan shivered again. "Baby, please." James blew a cold breath over Logan's hole. Logan gasped.

James licked at the pink muscle. Logan moaned. James twirled his tongue inside Logan until he got dizzy from the movement. Logan was a moaning mess, begging for more. James slipped his middle finger in Logan, next to his tongue, hitting just the right spot to make Logan see stars. A loud cry came from his love as he spilled all over their bed.

James smirked, got up and slammed into Logan. "Yes! Finally!" Logan let out. James didn't wait for Logan to adjust, he began moving. Now it was his turn. Loan tightened his grip on the bed post and stuck his ass out just a little bit more. James gripped onto his love handles and began pounding into him, full speed. Logan began moaning again, putting every porn star to shame, begging for more, begging for yet another orgasm. James let his head fall back and his body to take over. When Logan had the audacity to come again, screaming James name, clenching his walls around James just right, James came as well. Hard. Gripping into Logan deliciously round hips, leaving a new set of bruises in the shape of his finger tips.

With his last bit of strength James pulled out of Logan and landed on his knees.

Logan was still holding onto the bed post for dear life. He had locked his knees in the straight up position, making sure he would not fall. He felt dizzy. Wanted to faint from all the pleasure, but didn't. As his breathing returned to normal, so did his brain function.

"Jamie…"

"Yeah…"

"You ok?" Logan asked with a very tired voice.

"Mhmmm… Perfect." James kissed Logan's thigh. Logan shivered a little. James smiled wide and got up on shaky legs. "We need to shower." James told Logan, before hugging him from behind.

"Round two?" Logan asked hopefully.

"No time." Logan pouted. James kissed the pout away. "I can't carry you, baby. I'm spent." Logan nodded with a smile, turning in James' embrace.

"I can walk you know."

"I know, little duckling, I know."

Logan gasped and smacked James across the shoulder. "Ass!"

"I love to watch you walk. The way your hips sway is so… appetizing."

"You're still an ass." Logan smiled knowing James meant no harm.

"An ass that loves you."

"Still an ass." Logan pushed away and began duck-walking his way to the bathroom. "An ass that can watch my duck-walk to the bathroom and get hard on it." Logan chirped over his shoulder, more than a little flirty.

James laughed at Logan's adorableness. He watched his fiancée sway his hips as he walked the short distance to the bathroom. Logan had been right. He was hard again. James crossed the distance in two long strides. "Ok, round two, quickly."

"Shower?"

"Too slippery. Come here." James propped Logan on the sink and entered him without warning. Logan threw his head back at the sudden pleasure of being filled, being complete. "Open your eyes, look at me." James asked. Logan did what he was told, looking in the mirror, right into James eyes. James began moving slowly. "You know just how beautiful you are to me?" James asked keeping a slow pace. Logan shook his head "no" keeping his eyes on James'. James gained a bit of speed. "Gorgeous. Perfect." He whispered. Logan bit his lip, controlling a moan. "Let me hear you, baby. You know I love your sounds." Logan shook his head "no" again. James slammed hard inside of him. "Why not?" Logan shrugged and kept quiet. James slammed harder. Logan fought back another moan. James slammed hard right into Logan's sweet spot. Logan made his lip bleed. "Let" SLAM "me" SLAM "hear" SLAM "you" SLAM. Logan came, still denying James his sounds.

James pounded him mercilessly. The combination of speed and Logan's walls tightening in around his length made James come again, still looking in Logan's eyes, through the mirror. He denied Logan the feel of his orgasm, in revenge for keeping quiet, spilling his seed all over Logan's round ass. Still looking in Logan's eyes. When he was done, James slapped one of Logan's sticky ass cheeks hard. Logan didn't expect it and yelped. "Finally. A sound."

Logan turned to wrap his arms lightly around James' neck – that was all he could do, thanks to his belly. "Wash me?" He purred. "Of course." James smiled and leaned in to kiss Logan's lips.

"You made yourself bleed." James caressed Logan's cheek, right above his dimple.

Logan shrugged. "Worth it."

James helped Logan clean himself, taking his time, loving the way Logan's milky skin felt to the touch. Logan washed James' back. It was all he could do – or, rather, all that James allowed. Logan did get in a little ass groping while at it, making James giggle at his ticklish touch.

When they were done James dried Logan off, got dressed quickly and took their luggage to the RV they had hired to get them to the Hamptons. They needed the horrible thing because Emily was pressing down on Logan's bladder and he needed to have a bathroom travel with him. A "lovely" thought that Logan dreaded, but had to live with. James had been amazing about it, though, hiring an RV that wasn't as horrible as Logan had expected. He actually had a comfy couch to lie on the whole way over there. He couldn't have asked for a better person to share his life with.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's notes:**

**Oh my God, Scarlett! That's the best compliment I have ever gotten. THANK YOU! Thank you Kimmie for your constant support. Your reviews mean so much to me! Lots of love to you both. **

**Ok, back to this chapter - I let go a little. Just a little. I wanted to try my hand at a little angst, but, it just doesn't work with this story, so... this came out.**

**Hope you enjoy it. I certainly do :)**

**As always - please please please don't shy away from reviewing. Hearing from my beautiful readers makes my day.**

**Love.**

* * *

All the drive to the Hamptons Logan slept. Like a baby. James woke him up gently, with a kiss. "Baby, we're here. Wake up."

"Here… Here, where?"

"Gustavo's place in the Hamptons."

"Gustavo's…?" Logan asked, still a little groggy.

"Yes, baby. He said it's better for you to stay here. More private?"

"Oh…" Logan propped himself up on his right elbow, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with the other hand. "That's nice of him."

"Yes, it is. I have no idea what you did to him, but he's as sweet as a puppy now. It's scary." James giggled a little, helping Logan to his feet.

"I just listened to him, Jamie. I just listened."

"That's scary! I donno if I would want to know what's in that big fat brain of his."

"See, James – that's exactly the kind of thinking…" Logan cut James off in an angry voice, tearing his arm from James' grip. "...that made Gustavo put up the scary mask and pile up the pounds!" Logan wanted to stump his way out of the RV, but Emily kind of got in the way of that, since he wasn't able to see the stairs he had to go down of.

James sighed and hung his head between his shoulders. "You're right, baby. I'm sorry. Please let me help you down the stairs." James said in the most apologetic tone of voice he could muster up, especially since he didn't really feel guilty about it – at all.

"Fine." Logan gave up. James smiled, stepping up from behind him, getting out of the RV, picking him up with ease, setting him down on the solid ground. "Thank you, baby." James leaned down to about an inch from Logan's face. Logan looked into his eyes for a second, before sighing. "Fine." He linked his lips to James'. For just one second.

"Now, what that THAT hard?" James asked with a small smile.

"Yes!"

"Liar." James told Logan, wrapping his arms around his waist, pulling him as close as he could, giving him a little Eskimo kiss. Logan smiled in spite of himself.

"Why are you so adorable?" He asked letting his anger blow away in the light breeze.

"It comes natural." James shrugged.

"So does self absorption." Logan scolded.

"Somehow you still love me."

"Lucky you."

"That we both agree with." James kissed Logan sweetly. "I'm totally the luckiest man alive."

"You'd better remember that, buddy."

James giggled from the bottom of his chest, sending vibrations through Logan's whole body.

"Come on, let's go explore. And choose your bedroom. And where to have Dan set up his equipment and sleep…"

"Wait – what?"

"Yeah. Dan agreed to live here and bring his eco…whatever that machine is. Ever since you agreed to let him and Doctor Jones to publish your case, he made you his number one patient. Gustavo's paying extra for him to live here, with us, until Emily is born. Doctor Jones will join us too, the week before the birth and Gustavo has arranged with the hospital in town to have an OR ready for you and a separate room, with your own nurse, so… we're set. All you have to do now is get spoiled and take care of Emily, hold her in there for as long as possible." James explained, gently rubbing Logan's belly, sitting in the door way of the biggest bedroom of the mansion.

"Hmm… ok… I think I've just decided Emily's never getting out. I like being pregnant." Logan joked, looking around the impressive room.

"I like you being pregnant too." James whispered, looking at Logan's ass as he moved into the room for a better look. "You look so yummy with the baby weight on." James mumbled under his breath.

"You said something, baby?"

"Yeah. I said I like the baby weight on you."

Logan heard something in James' voice. He turned around to see James almost drooling as he stood in the doorway. "James…?"

"I can't help it. You're just… mouth watering lately."

"Baby, we just had sex this morning? How much so you want?" Logan asked with a little flirtatious laugh as James stepped closer and closer to him, lust clear in his hazel eyes.

"All I can get. We won't be alone anymore, once Dan is here. You'll have to be quiet. I'll miss your sounds. Then, once Emily is here, we'll both be too tired for a long while. I want to get my fill now. I want to make you scream out my name when you come. Every single time you come."

"James…"

"Yes Logan."

"When's Dan coming?"

"He called saying he had an emergency. He'll be here tomorrow." Logan nodded looking at his feet. He saw James' shoes in his line of sight. James was now standing right in front of him. Standing up straight. Looking down at him. Looking down with love. With lust. With need. Logan kept looking in his eyes, his head tilted back just a little. Just enough to make Logan dizzy on the inside. He forgot the world existed. Suddenly James was the only one in his world.

"Make me scream." Logan closed his eyes as James crushed their lips together, his hands cupping Logan's ass, making him moan into their kiss.

"That's a good boy. Let me hear you." James whispered huskily into Logan's ear.

"Oh, Jamie." Logan let out once James squeezed again.

"You want more, baby?"

"Yes, Jamie, please, I want you inside of me…" Logan let out on a gasp.

James made Logan lift his arms as he pulled his oven shirt off his love, relishing the sight of Logan's naked chest. "I've never seen anyone this beautiful. I've never wanted anyone more." He let out between gently placed kiss on Logan's chest. Logan let out little whimpers of pleasure, his eyes rolled back in his head, his hands fisted in James head, not even pulling, just holding his balance.

"Jamie…"

"Yes, my love."

"I need you to stop." Logan whispered and James opened his pants and let them fall around his swollen ankles."

"Why baby, did I do anything wrong?" James asked with worry.

"No." Logan sat on the bed, pulling James between his open legs. "I just want something I hadn't had in a while." Logan looked up at James, licking his lips, opening his fly, mouthing his erection through his boxer briefs.

"Oh, Logie."

"It's ok, right? If I do this?" Logan asked with fake shyness, still mouthing at James' covered dick, already tasting James' precum on his underwear.

"Yeah, baby, it's fine." James moaned a little, not really catching on to Logan's game. Logan smirked. He'd soon catch on. Logan used his finger tips to gently caress James' hard dick through the thin cloth, moving around his body to cup his ass and slowly drag down James' pants. "How about if I do this, baby, is it ok?" Logan asked faking innocence, looking up at James with his best puppy eyes.

James opened his eyes and saw Logan's expression. He caught on to his game. He growled low, in appreciation. "Yes, baby. Keep going. There's a good boy." James caressed Logan's face. "Take, daddy's underwear off." He instructed.

Logan nodded vigorously then curled his fingers under James' boxers and pulled. He managed to pull down a couple of strands of James' happy trail and James' hissed in pain. "Careful." He hissed slapping a finger against Logan's cheek. "Or daddy will have to punish you."

"Yes, daddy. I'm sorry, daddy." Logan cooed, his best puppy face on. "Oh, daddy, you're so big… and beautiful… can I…"

"No, Logie, you can't. You've been a bad boy. Only good boys get lollies."

"Please, daddy, just one little lick. I promise I'll be good."

"You'll scream for daddy?"

"Yes, daddy."

"You'll moan for daddy."

"Yes daddy, I'll moan, daddy. I'll moan! I promise, I'll be a good boy."

"OK, Logie. You get to lick daddy's lolly."

"Oh, daddy, thank you." Logan cooed, sticking his tongue out.

"Give daddy your hand." Logan did. "Take daddy's lolly in your hand, like this." James wrapped Logan's fingers around his base. Logan acted to be in awe. He brought his tongue to the top of James' dick, looking up, for approval. James nodded, caressing Logan's hair. "There's a good boy." Logan licked at James' dick as if it were a real lollipop.

"Mmmm daddy, you taste so good." Logan let out between two licks, right at James' slit. It drove James insane, but he kept up his part just a little while longer. Logan licked at him again. And again. "Mmmm daddy…" Logan took James in his mouth completely.

James' eyes rolled back in his head in pleasure for a second before he remembered he had a part to play still. He used a finger to slap Logan gently across the face again. "Don't be greedy." He instructed. "You bad, greedy, boy."

"I'm sorry, daddy, I won't be greedy. Please daddy, please, don't take my lolly away." Logan put on his puppy eyes again. James smirked.

"No, Logie, you've been a bad boy, you're not allowed to touch daddy anymore." James slapped Logan's hand away. Logan obeyed. "Open that pretty mouth of yours for daddy." Logan did. James moved inside Logan's mouth with a moan, biting his lower lip. "Suck." Logan did as James moved in and out of his mouth. "Fuck, Logan." Logan moaned in appreciation. James moved deeper. Logan gagged. James controlled himself a little, moved a little more shallowly. Logan kept moaning, licking, sucking, driving James insane. The best part of all of it was that not once did Logan break out of character, looking up at James with such innocence it made James' bones melt.

When James felt like coming he pulled away. Logan broke away from his character, grabbed James' dick and began sucking at his tip like there was no tomorrow. James came, shaking like a leaf in the wind, screaming Logan's name. Logan worked him through the shattering orgasm, only popping off him when James was fully limp.

James' throat felt raw. His knees like boiled noodles. "Sit." He heard through the fuzziness in his head and he sat on the bed. Next to Logan. A very smirky Logan. He barely caught his breath.

"What was that…?"

Logan shrugged. "Just missed your taste."

"And the "daddy" thing?"

"You didn't like it?"

"Oh, I liked it!" James found his strength, throwing Logan back on the mattress, kissing him senseless, caressing their child gently.

"I'm seriously thinking you're bipolar." Logan giggled into James' mouth.

"You make me that way, Logie. You make me that way."

"Good. Now I know no one will ever compare to me." Logan shrugged, jokingly. When James gawked, Logan woke him up. "I'm hungry. You can pay me back for that incredible orgasm I just gave you after you feed me."

"Demanding much?"

"Nope. Just enough." Logan giggled as James got off him and got dressed, before pulling Logan to his feet and his pants back up.

"You're not allowed a shirt, though."

Logan nodded and followed James to the kitchen.

* * *

"As I promised you before the break, here are two very special friends of mine. They've come to pay us – well, me really - a surprise visit and, out of the goodness of my heart, I decided to share their visit with you." Everyone cheered. "Everyone please welcome Kendall Knight and Carlos Garcia, of Big – Time – Rush!" Ellen finished and the crowd exploded.

Kendall and Carlos walked on the set waving. They greeted Ellen with a hug and sat down on the couch.

"Carlos I love you!" A girl screamed in the audience.

Carlos giggled. "I heard that. Who said that?"

A girl stood up. Carlos looked at Ellen, she nodded just slightly. Carlos got up and went to her, giving her a hug. "Thank you. I appreciate your love more than you know." He whispered to her. She melted into her seat as Carlos walked back to his seat in the cheers of the crowd.

"So, guys…" Ellen started.

"Yup." They both turned to face her, Carlos fidgeting a little in his seat.

"Last time I had Big Time Rush on my show I had Logan… how is he by the way?"

"Logan's fine." Carlos started.

"He's now under constant medical supervision. In the last stages of getting rid of his…bug." Kendall finished. Referring to his future god-daughter as a "bug" was weird. He didn't like it.

"That's good news. How long till he'll be fully healthy."

"The doctors don't really know. They said between a month and three months. But he's doing great. His anemia is under control and he's doing good. Considering." Carlos replied.

"And James? Where's James?"

"Oh." Kendall looked down at his hands. "James had a family issue to tend to. He's really sorry to disappoint our fans, but, he's asking for some privacy right now that he's got some stuff to settle."

"Rushers, Kendall, rushers!" Someone from the crowd exploded. Kendall turned to smile to the crowd. "Rushers – I'm sorry. Rushers!" Kendall smiled genuinely.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Hope everything turns out all right. I know how hard it is to be away from your family so long."

"Thanks Ellen." Carlos smiled at her, warmly.

"So, I'm guessing, you're not going to sing tonight."

"No." Carlos said.

"Since it's just the two of us. BUT!" Kendall continued.

"We came baring gifts to make up for our not singing." Carlos giggled as a stage help person brought a couple of boxes on stage.

"We've got an autographed CD of our brand new album for each and every one in your audience tonight, plus a pre-recorded sample of our new single, in the form of…" Carlos let the suspense drag on a little.

"A video trailer!" He finished with happiness.

"Wow!" Ellen cheered as the stage help handed everyone their copy of the CD, including Ellen. "This is amazing. How amazing are these guys?" Ellen asked her audience, filled with joy. The crowd burst out in cheers. "Well, then, let's see the trailer, shall we?" The crowd cheered again as the TV wall behind Ellen filled with images of Big Time Rush singing a love song.

James was playing the piano, on top of a roof top, the wind ruffling his hair. A couple of girls in the crowd gasped.

Logan was sitting behind the control panel, arranging music while singing along to it, as if he was lost in the power of his love. Another girl cooed.

Kendall came up on screen, strumming his guitar by the ocean, singing at the top of his lungs. A girl fell off her chair. Kendall' eyes widened as a stage help woke her up.

Carlos came up last. His scene, in an eternity pool, leaning against the edge of it, singing the last line of the chorus, with half a smile on his face, causing the girl who had said she loved him to ask out loud "how can he be so perfect?". Carlos heard her words and blushed on the spot.

"Well, that looks… interesting." Ellen let out.

"It makes sense when you hear the whole song." Kendall shrugged.

"So, how long till we can hear the whole thing? I must admit, you've got me buying it."

Carlos laughed. "That's nice, but you don't have to… It's on the CD in your hand." Carlos pretended to whisper, raising a hand to his mouth as if to hide his words.

"Oh. Yeah – I guess you're right." Ellen laughed. "Just so you know – next time you're here – I'll get you for that." The crowd laughed but Carlos turned a little red. "Speaking of which… last time I got a quarter of Big Time Rush, now a half – think that next time, I'll be able to get the complete formula?"

Kendall and Carlos let out a forced little laugh.

"We'll see what we can do." Kendall joked.

The music signaling the show was over started. Ellen quickly bid her audience and viewers fair well and told them what to expect in the next week's show.

When everything was said and done Carlos and Kendall left for home. They were both exhausted. For the past couple of weeks, since the beginning of the year, had been mayhem, Gustavo working them to the bone. All Kendall wanted to do was crawl up in a ball, have Carlos spoon him and fall asleep for the next 12 to 24 hours!

Carlos, being an amazing boyfriend, indulged his love – held him tight till he fell fast asleep – then ran to his own room. Soon Kendall and his one month anniversary would come and all they had done so far was have a couple of handjobs in the dead of night, when fear could be his away by darkness. Carlos wanted to surprise Kendall with… something… anything, really… just a bit of closeness. He didn't necessarily want to go all the way – he did like that thought, but he was still scared and confused over the "mechanics" of that. Maybe just a blowjob would be enough? He had to research.

Carlos booted up his laptop, opened his browser, accessed Google and stilled over the keyboard, pondering of what to type. Carlos gulped and did the single search he could think of: _anal sex without pain_. The browser sent him to a forum where he found a LOT of advice. Most said that relaxation and lubrication is key. Carlos gulped again. How could anyone relax with something as big as Kendall inside of them?

Carlos scrolled down and found something interesting. _Anal training kits_. That sounded weirdly arousing. He searched for some. His eyes bulged at the sizes. Then he found a measures to inches table and found that most of those things were – dear Lord – smaller than his Kendall. Smaller than him as well. Carlos sighed. It would never work It would never be without pain. Then Carlos realized. He didn't care. He really didn't care it would hurt, as long as he could be with Kendall. Carlos sighed, ordered up a kit, paid extra to make sure he got it the very next day, closed up his laptop and went back to bed to hold Kendall.

Carlos snuck in bed next to Kendall, wrapping his arms around his waist, sighing when Kendall's sweet smell invaded him.

"Where were you?" Kendall whispered.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"I missed your warmth." Kendall purred, taking Carlos' hand in his, bringing it to his heart and holding it there, securely.

"I'm sorry. Just go back to sleep, amor." Carlos cooed in Kendall's ear.

Kendall smiled in the dark. "Los…" Kendall suddenly turned to face his boyfriend. "I know enough Spanish to know what that means."

"So?" Carlos smiled a little.

"You don't have to hide behind Spanish words…"

"I'm not, love. Sometimes it feels more natural for me to speak in Spanish."

"I don't believe you, amor." Kendall teased but let it drop when he felt Carlos' lips on his.

"Sleep now."

"Not until you tell me where you were."

Carlos sighed. "You won't let up." Kendall shook his head. "Checking my e-mail." Carlos finally lied. He was too embarrassed to tell him the truth.

"Los, I know you're lying." Carlos sighed. "You were getting me a gift, weren't you?"

"Kendall…" Carlos whined.

"Fine, don't tell me…" Kendall pouted into Carlos' chest. Carlos pulled him in closer. He couldn't tell Kendall about his search. He just couldn't.

Kendall fell asleep with a pout. Carlos watched over him for most of the night, until his tiredness caught up with him and he fell asleep himself.

* * *

When the postman came the next day Carlos was waiting for him. He signed for his package in a hurry and ran to his bedroom to hide it away.

"Whacha got there?" Kendall asked, getting out of the bathroom, freshly shaved, wearing nothing but a small towel around his waist. Carlos gawked, his jaw falling.

"N-n-nothing…" Carlos stuttered forcing himself to blink.

Kendall giggled. "Los, what's in the package."

"Your anniversary gift." Carlos pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes to the sight in front of him. "And no – you can't know what it is nor see it."

"But Loooosss! I'm curious!" Kendall whined and pouted.

"No, Kendall. You barged in my room. You didn't let me surprise you. It's your fault you're curious. I'm not even gonna bother hiding it anymore." Carlos said placing the plane, brown box in the middle of his bedside table. "But, if I see that you touched it, we'll have a fight worse than the war of Troy. Got it?" Carlos asked calmly.

"But, Looos…How am I supposed to just keep away from MY gift, It's mine!"

"Stop whining, Kendy. It's not yours yet. I may decide not to give it to you after all. I still have more than a week to decide on that." Carlos stepped in front of Kendall, looking him in the eyes.

"Los…that's not fair."

"Yes. It is." Carlos said stepping to the side, exiting the room, leaving Kendall with his "gift" while his heart was beating to get out of his chest. Carlos was bluffing about that being Kendall's gift, about fighting him, about everything really, but he had been left with no choice. Kendall would just not let up about this so, he did all that he had to.

Carlos sighed in relief seeing Kendall follow him, his head between his shoulders, his pout so big he was almost stepping on his own lips. Carlos giggled at the image in his own head – Kendall stumbling over his own lips.

"What are you giggling about?" Kendall asked sulking in his own misery over not getting his gift early. "You're so adorable, Kendy." Carlos tip-toed to kiss Kendall's lips. Kendall allowed it, but didn't reply. "Not adorable enough…" Kendall sighed. Carlos rolled his eyes. "Kendall, please. I want you to have that on our anniversary." Kendall nodded. "I'm getting dressed." He left and hid in his room.

Carlos facepalmed. He followed Kendall. He found a locked door. Carlos sighed.

"Kendall, open the door." He called out but got no reply. "Kendall, please." Still nothing. "Kendall. Please open the door." Again – nothing. Carlos sighed. He went to his room, got his helmet, patted it twice and went back to Kendall's door. "Kendall, either open the door or I'm breaking it in." No reply. "I warned you." Carlos took five steps back then ran into Kendall's bedroom door, head – err… helmet first, turning the door into smithereens.

Kendall stood up from his bed looking at Carlos with wide eyes.

"Why?"

"You were hiding."

"Carlos…"

"You promised you'd never let me run and hide. I'm doing the same. I'm not letting you run and hide, Kendall. You're a big boy. You can handle patience, my love."

"But…Los…"

"Kendall – how old are you?"

"Five!"

"I see. Then I guess, I'll have to wait for you to grow up so I can actually give you your present. And, oh my, we have to break up – I can't be labeled a pedophile! Can you imagine what my rushers would say?"

Kendall suddenly hugged Carlos to his chest, his heart beating erratically.

"NEVER say that again. Not even as a joke. It's a bad joke, NEVER say that again! Never. Never. Never." Kendall chanted clinging to Carlos.

"Never say what?"

"That you're breaking up with me…" Kendall whispered."Never, never, never."

Carlos hugged Kendall back. "Amor…"

"Never again, you understand me?" Kendall shook Carlos by the shoulders. "I'll wait for the god darn gift for nine years not nine days, just never, never, never say that again. Promise me!"

"Kendall… I promise."

"Good. Because you're mine now and I'm never never never letting you go ever!"

"That's fine by me." Carlos smiled into Kendall's chest. He was certain now more than ever that pain – whatever pain he had to take – was worth it.

When Kendall's heart rate finally returned to normal he released his grip on Carlos. Carlos held on. It felt rather good. Carlos could not stop smiling.

"I'm sorry, love." Kendall muttered into Carlos' hair.

"It's ok." Carlos whispered back.

"Just…"

"Never." Carlos smiled so hard. So hard his face hurt. "I don't let others have what's mine, that easily. It's a Latin thing." Carlos told Kendall.

"Really? I'm yours?"

"Aren't you?"

"Yeah… guess I am." Kendall kissed the top of Carlos' head. "Just like you're mine."

"All yours."

They staid like that for a while, enjoying the closeness. Until Carlos realized just how naked Kendall was and found a silly reason to let go before doing anything about it. Now that he was sure he wanted to keep that special moment for their anniversary.

"Amor, I'm hungry. Wacha wanna eat?"

"Anything you want is fine. I don't really care."

"Ok. Pizza it is." Carlos giggled, gently kissing Kendall's lips.

Carlos left to get their food ready.

Kendall flopped down on the bed. His heart was still somewhat racing. Hearing Carlos say he had thought, even for a split second, even as a joke, of breaking up with him, had made Kendall feel like he wasn't enough, like he was failing at being a boyfriend to the man he loved.

He loved Carlos. He loved Carlos so much it hurt. He needed to tell Carlos. Now. He needed to tell Carlos he loved him. He needed to tell Carlos he'd do anything for him… even… even… even that…

Kendall ran a hand through his hair. How could he tell Carlos – the man he loved – that he was willing to go all the way, especially since that man was running away from him every time they were starting to get close? Then Kendall remembered – he'd promised Carlos not to let him run away. Kendall swallowed hard. Ok, now all he needed was the balls to actually go through with it. Which Kendall seriously lacked right about now.

Carlos called him to eat and Kendall rapidly put on some random clothing, not even realizing he had on one of Carlos' purple shirts.

"Hey gorgeous. That looks good on you." Carlos told him. Kendall looked down and saw his shirt. He began to laugh. A small laugh that made Carlos turn to mush.

"Thank you, Carlitos."

* * *

"How are you feeling, dog?"

"Very well, thank you, Gustavo." Logan answered in his phone.

"How's Emily?" Gustavo asked in a small voice.

"Emily is perfect. Dan says she's a model example of how a baby should grow. She's so beautiful, Gustavo!" Logan gushed. "The last scan we did I got to see her little profile – Gustavo she looks just like James, I swear!"

"Wish I could see her…"

"Why don't you come down this weekend?"

"Aren't your parents coming this weekend?"

"Yes. That's why I need all the support I can get… Maybe you can bring Kelly and…"

"NO!"

"Gustavo… why not?" Logan asked in a motherly tone.

"She'll never…"

"How do you know, Gustavo? If you don't try – how do you know?"

"I just do!" Gustavo yelled.

"I still think you're wrong."

"Meh!"

Logan giggled. "That's not an answer, but I'll let it go, for now. So, will you come this weekend? I've managed to convince Kendall and Carlos to come down as well and bring their parents also. It's gonna be chaos. I need help."

"Good thing my mansion is big."

"As big as your heart."

"Don't go all mushy on me, dog!"

Logan giggled again. "OK, so – James and me, Dan, Frannie, Kendall and Carlos, Brooke, Mom and Dad, Jen and Katie, Sylvia and Papa Pena – that makes eight rooms, nine with yours and ten with the one Dan has his medical stuff. And that's the house."

"Wait – who's Frannie?" Gustavo asked "And who told you I'm coming?"

"Doctor Jones, she's coming for a check-up this Friday. I've asked her to stay the night. Moral support, you know. And I already know you're coming, Gustavo. You wouldn't miss the chance to hear Emily's heart beat, would you?"

Gustavo sighed. "Fine. I'd better have my bedroom overlooking the pool or else!"

"The one that says Gustavo all over the door?"

"Yes."

"That's Dan's room…"

"DOG!"

Logan laughed. "It's all yours Gustavo, all yours."

"You want me to come on Friday night as well?"

"Yes, please. The boys are coming then too. Maybe you can carpool."

"Or not."

"Or not – as you wish. Just be here. That's all that matters."

"Mhm…"

"Thank you, Gustavo. You're a true friend."

Gustavo melted a little. "Yeah yeah. I need to work now."

"Bye, Gustavo. Thank you."

"Aham.." Gustavo ended the conversation.

Logan smiled at his phone. His whole family would be there. For a split second. Until they saw his belly. He really hoped that Emily would bring his family together rather than tear it apart. Either way he knew he had James and that was everything to him. James and Emily were all he'd ever need to be happy.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's notes:**

**OK, so I got myself in over my head, almost loosing track of my characters. Just putting it out there before others notice too. Please don't kill me - again, all the reactions have a reason behind them and a purpose, so, yeah, just don't kill me - yet :)**

**I love you all - thank you for reviewing. Especially my most devoted reader - Kimmie. Thank you so much! Hope you like this chapter as much as you liked the previous ones.**

**Pweeeaase don't shy away from reviewing - pwease pwease pwease *Fox puppy face***

**Love!**

* * *

Friday finally came. Logan was ecstatic. He had missed Kendall and Carlos, missed their antics, even missed their fighting. With Kendall and Carlos there it felt like Logan's family was complete. After spending a week basically doing nothing, he finally felt useful, making lunch for his family and Dan. He felt happy.

Fran came a few hours later, finding all five men around the table, eating and laughing, Logan all wrapped up in James' arms, with his feet up on the seat next to him. She made Logan sit back down when she saw how big his ankles had gotten.

"He won't sit still, doc. He won't listen to me. He'd do back-flips if his belly wasn't so big." James complained to Doctor Jones.

"I probably would." Logan laughed at the thought of him back-flipping with his huge belly.

Fran sat down, had lunch with them. Lunch turned to dinner. Halfway through dinner Gustavo finally came. Logan almost jumped from his seat with happiness. "Gustavo! You came!" Logan opened his arms demanding a hug which Gustavo gladly granted Logan. "You've lost weight?" Logan whispered. "Yeah." Gustavo stood up. "Congrats, big man. I'm proud of you." Gustavo smiled, to the amazement of James, Carlos and Kendall. Logan beamed as he formally introduced Gustavo to his doctors.

"Now that Gustavo's here – Dan, do you think we could have that scan?"

Dan nodded. "Yes. I think we could."

Hearing the little _thumpthumpthumpthump_ of Emily's heart beat for the first time turned Gustavo to mush. A tear ran down his cheek. Logan raised his hand to Gustavo and the not-really-that-fat-anymore man took it with a grateful smile. James was a tad jealous that he was sharing his spot with Gustavo, but he understood Logan's actions.

When the screen lit up and Emily's picture came up – her little thumb in her little mouth – Gustavo had to sit down.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Logan cooed, his voice filled with love.

"Gorgeous." James replied. "Like her mommy." He whispered in Logan's ear. Logan didn't mind being called Emily's mommy anymore. After all, that's what Logan was – Emily's mommy… in a daddy body. Yeah that sounded strange even in Logan's head.

Suddenly Gustavo got up and stormed out of the room. Logan looked at James.

"I'll go check up on him." James said before Logan even had time to think. Logan nodded. James lightly kissed Logan and went to find Gustavo.

"You two are sickeningly sweet." He heard Dan say right before he closed the door.

"You always say that." James called back.

"BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!" Dan yelled back at him and James left shaking his head in amusement.

* * *

"Gustavo?" James called entering his manager's room.

"What do you want, dog?" Gustavo answered harshly, looking out at the pool.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Why do you care?"

"You're family."

"I'm your manager."

"You're family."

Gustavo let out a noise. James didn't understand anything, but he still stood by Gustavo's side, looking down at the pool.

"Since when are you so caring?"

"Since Logan's making me a father and the happiest man alive."

Gustavo kept quiet again. Most likely thinking over if he should or should not tell James.

"I think… I'm jealous."

"Of what?" James squealed.

"Of you and Logan…?"

"Dude! If you're in love with Logie – though – he's mine!"

"That not it." Gustavo sighed. "I'm jealous of what you have… how much you love each other… you're starting a family…"

"Oh, my God. Gustavo, are you in love?"

Gustavo looked at James in amazement. "Since when are you so insightful?"

"Since Logan. Dooh!"

Gustavo nodded. "Figures. Logan has that… he changes people for the best." Gustavo smiled turning to look down at the pool again.

"Who's the lucky girl?"

"None of your business, dog."

"Ok, Gustavo. Listen – if you ever want to talk and Logan's busy or has to take care of Emily or something, I can listen to you. Ok?" James put a hand on Gustavo's right shoulder. Gustavo nodded his "thank you" and James left him to his thoughts.

* * *

Saturday. Logan woke up with a lump in his throat. ALL of the parents were coming today. He'd managed to get them to come all at once. Say "I'm bisexual, engaged to James and carrying his baby" just once, nice and loud and then face the consequences – or run for cover – whichever came first. Yeah – run! Definitely run!

All morning his stomach had been in a knot. When midday finally came and there was a knock on the door – THE knock on the door. Logan stood up, looking at James with fear. "Everything will be fine, love. I promise." Logan wanted to fight James, tell him that those were just empty words; that this was one promise he could not make, but he didn't find the strength. He settled for nodding.

Dan opened the front door, blocking the parents' sight into the living room as they came into the house. Logan hid behind James a little. Everyone burst into the hall. Laughter and giggles filling Logan's ears. Kendall and Carlos followed their parents inside, looking white as papers. Logan knew how they felt. Him and James were exactly the same.

Kendall and Carlos gently ushered everyone in the living room, Brooke exploding with happiness, seeing James, Joanna doing the same over Logan. Neither young man moved, just smiling a little. Both moms stopped in their tracks seeing their respective sons' reactions and both moms asked in unison "what's wrong?" Logan took a tiny step to the side. All moms gasped.

"Maybe you should sit down?" Dan said to no one in particular.

Papa García took Sylvia to the couch, sat her down and took a seat next to her. Jennifer Knight sat on Sylvia's other side, making Katie sit on the couch arm rest, by her side, clinging on her daughter's hand with a death grip.

Ryan Mitchell took Joanna to the loveseat and sat her down. He sat next to her on the arm rest. His wife was shaking, scared of what Logan's state might mean. Brooke kept her composure and sat down on the other love seat, looking at James with steal hazel eyes. All four young men found themselves sitting in front of their parents, like they did when they were children.

That was the moment when Gustavo decided to make his appearance in the doorway. Fran sat a little behind him. Dan by her side. Logan looked up at them, felt James' arm around his waist and relaxed a little, his hand went up without thinking, covering, protecting his precious baby.

"Mom. Dad." Logan began. "Brooke." He turned to look in the hazel eyes that reminded him so much of the eyes he loved with all his heart. "This will be hard to take. But…" Logan looked up at James. He nodded, giving his silent approval. "James and I…" He lost his words.

"Are getting married and having a baby. Logan's pregnant." James spilled out.

Joanna slapped a hand over her mouth, Brooke and Ryan stood up at the same second. Brooke was faster, however. She slapped James over the face hard, leaving a print of her hand on his left cheek. "Brooke!" Jennifer called out.

Brooke turned on her heals and left. A tear ran down on James' face. Logan linked their fingers together, quietly supporting his fiancée while waiting his own parents' reaction.

Ryan turned and left. Logan watched his father leave. It hurt like hell, but Logan still turned to his mother. Joanna was speechless.

"Mom?" He asked shakingly.

Joanna stood up. She slowly approached her son. She looked him in the eyes. "May I?" She asked, extending a hand to her son's belly. Logan nodded. "Of course, mom."

"How far along are you?"

"Six months." Logan answered as Joanna touched his belly gently.

"When the doctors told me you were born with a uterus I never thought you'd use it… That's why I didn't allow them to remove it. I didn't want you to grow up with scars on your body…" Joanna cried feeling Emily kick.

"You knew?"

"You're my son, Logan. Of course I knew."

"Mom…does that mean…?" Logan cried.

"I want to be part of my grandchild's life? Yes. Yes it does."

"Mom." Logan cried and hugged his mother as well as he could.

Joanna opened up her right arm and beckoned James into their hug. James went gladly, tears still falling on his beautiful face over his mother's rejection. "I know I'm not Brooke, James, but, now you're my son as well." Joanna said kissing James' hair.

"Thank you mom." Logan let out between tears.

None of them had thought to see how the others had reacted to the news.

Papa García – a most religious man – was frozen. Sylvia as well, fearing the worst, just from reading her son's body language. Jennifer had a smile on her face the size of Kansas State and so did Katie. Gustavo, Dan and Fran just stood, with their heads to the floor.

"Mom…" Kendall began.

"NO!" Papa García exploded.

"No what, Papi?" Carlos asked, terrified.

"MY son is not a homosexual."

"No, Papi. I'm not. I'm bisexual, Papi."

Papa García exploded again. "No! I will not accept this… this… this NONSENSE! You will marry a nice Latina and have children, as God has ordained all men and women to do. And that is final."

"Papi, I can't marry anyone that I don't love…"

"And you love… that!?" Papa García asked, pointing at Kendall in disgust. Before anyone could even react Carlos yelled "YES" at the top of his lungs.

"YES PAPI I LOVE KENDALL. I LOVE HIM WITH ALL OF MY HEART. I LOVE HIM!"

Kendall gasped. It was the first time he'd heard Carlos say he loved him. And he'd said it to someone else. Not him. It… felt… wrong… but he was still flying with happiness right now. The world could end around him and he wouldn't care. Carlos loved him!

Kendall gently squeezed Carlos' shoulder. Carlos looked up at him. Kendall saw the determination in Carlos' eyes turn to something else. Something he couldn't get enough of.

"You love me?" Kendall whispered.

"Yes. With all of my heart." Carlos' words were loud and clear and filled with certainty.

"I love you, Carlos."

Before even thinking through his actions, Kendall moved his hand under Carlos' chin, tilting his face up, kissing his lips gently. Carlos visibly melted into the kiss.

Jennifer and Katie and Sylvia cooed. Papa García got up from his seat, pulled Carlos out of Kendall's loving embrace, punched Kendall in the jaw so hard he landed on the floor and began dragging Carlos to the door.

"I am taking you home right now. You're going to a priest and confessing all your dirty sins…" He yelled before Carlos even woke up from the dizziness of Kendall's soft lips on his. When he saw Kendall on the floor, bleeding, both their mothers hovering over him, Carlos snapped.

"DEJAME!" _(Leave me!)_ Carlos yelled, tearing his arm from his father's grasp. "TU NO ERES MI PADRE! UN PARDE AMA A SUS HIJOS TAL Y COMO SON!"_(You are not my father! A father loves his children just as they are!)_ Carlos spat in his father's face before racing back to Kendall. "Mi vida…" _(My life…) _Carlos cooed, gently moving behind Kendall to support his weight.

Papa García began screaming mostly bad words in Spanish, before long Sylvia started yelling back at him, fighting for her son's right to find love. Dan and Fran tried to calm them down as Gustavo went to find Logan's father.

Carlos couldn't have cared less. His only concern now was his precious Kendall.

"Mi vida, let me see." Kendall moved his hand away from his jaw right when Logan came to kneel next to him, James right by his side. Kendall's jaw was already inflating and a bruise was beginning to form. "It hurts." Kendall complained.

Logan looked at his face, touched his jaw gently. "Can you bite?" Logan asked, now in "doctor mode", trying to assess the extent of Kendall's injury. Kendall nodded. "Then, I think it's not broken. An ice pack…" Logan said looking at James. James nodded and made a bee line to the kitchen, avoiding Carlos' fighting parents and the doctors that were trying to get them to stop screaming.

Jennifer, finally seeing her son's face, got up from the couch, showing a lot of poise, went right up to Papa García and smacked his face with all her might.

"Roberto García, you listen to me and you listen to me good – should you EVER – EVER talk to my son or dare to touch my son in any way, shape or form, I SWEAR TO GOD I will find you at the ends of the Earth and scalp you alive!" She spat out in Papa García's face with such hatred and determination it quieted everyone down. Jennifer Knight was never a temperamental woman, like Sylvia García, or dangerous, like Brooke Diamond. Jennifer Knight was kind and sweet and forgiving, but turned into the most ferocious of lionesses when it came to her beloved children.

Jennifer turned on her heels and joined her son. James brought them the ice pack – actually a bag of frozen peas. Jennifer helped her son up and took him, Carlos and Katie to their room. Sylvia followed them, leaving Papa García to scream at the walls.

"Señor García, por favor, stop shouting. You are stressing my baby. My pregnancy…" Logan tried to explain.

"I don't care about your pregnancy… you… you abomination! That is a spawn of the devil! That is not a child!" Before he knew it, Papa García received a punch in the nose, sending him tumbling down to the floor.

"Do not – DO NOT – talk about my future husband and our child like that." James hissed, his voice low, threatening, resembling his mother more than he knew. "Come on, love, you need to rest." Logan nodded. Joanna followed her sons, seeing Gustavo talk to her husband as she passed by.

* * *

"Ryan." Gustavo called.

"What?"

"Logan needs you."

Ryan let out a sound. "I knew I shouldn't have listened to Joanna and allow the doctors to operate on him when he was a new-born."

"You knew…"

"He's my son."

"Then why aren't you beside him."

"Because, Gustavo, it's a bit too much. He never said a word."

"He wanted to tell you in person, not over the phone."

"He's been dating his best friend since childhood for months now… he's having his best friend's baby… my son is going to be a MOTHER?!"

"It is a bit much… but Logan needs you."

Ryan sighed. "Do you think I don't know that?"

"Quite frankly – yes." Ryan threw his hands up. "Logan's pregnancy, though it has gone well thus far – by the book, even – is a high risk pregnancy. He needs to feel loved. He needs you, Ryan. He needs his father." Ryan looked at his feet. "I only wish I had a son like him…" Gustavo sighed in turn. "But if you ever tell anyone I said that I'll deny it and accuse you of being high!"

Ryan laughed a little. He knew Gustavo was right.

"Where's his room?"

"Up the stairs, second door on the right."

"Thank you, Gustavo."

"Don't mention it." They shook hands and Ryan began to climb the stairs. "Really – DON'T mention it. Ever." Gustavo sighed in relief. He had done good. Hopefully.

Not to tend to Papa García!

* * *

Ryan knocked on Logan's bedroom door. When he heard a "yes" he entered. Logan was lying down in James' embrace, Joanna at his feet.

"Hi." Ryan let out.

"Dad." Logan tried to stand up, but James pulled him back down.

"You need to rest." James instructed. Logan nodded, still looking at his father.

"I'm sorry I stormed out." Logan's jaw fell, his eyes filled with tears. "It just was a bit too much. I needed a bit of time." Ryan moved to the foot of the bed. Joanna smiled up at him as he placed a hand on her shoulder. James looked at him with suspicion in his eyes. Ryan couldn't really blame him. "How far along are you?"

"Six months. Dan says that I could have my C-section at seven months, if my body can't handle a full-term pregnancy, but I want to try to carry my baby to term."

"It can be dangerous for you, baby."

"I know, Jamie." Logan linked his fingers to James' almost mirroring his parents' gesture. "But, thus far everything has been going perfectly…"

"We'll let Dan decide that." James stated, with no right of reply. Logan nodded.

"Logan…" Ryan spoke up again. "Can you forgive my stupid reaction and let me be a part of my grandchild's life?"

"Yes dad. That's all I want." Logan answered with tears in his eyes. Ryan looked at James. He slowly nodded. Ryan smiled.

"Thank you, son. James – welcome to the family." Ryan leaned in and extended his hand to James who took it and shook gently.

"Thank you, Ryan."

"Did you pick out a name yet?" Joanna asked.

"Emily Danielle Diamond." Logan beamed.

"You're having a girl?" Joanna asked. "Why not Mitchell?" Ryan asked at the same time.

"Yes, mom. Because I want it that way, dad." James smiled at Logan's security. He hugged Logan closer, nuzzling at his left temple, whispering a little "I love you."

* * *

"Roberto" Gustavo tried.

"JODETE!" _(Fuck you!) _Papa García stormed out of the house.

Gustavo sighed watching him go, hearing a car engine. He went to the kitchen to join Dan and Fran and find some food.

* * *

Carlos was crying in his mother's arms. Crying because his Kendall was hurt. Crying over his father's rejection. Crying over the way he had spoken to his own father. Carlos had been brought up in a family filled with love and he deeply respected his parents and brothers and sister, so, speaking the way he had hurt more than Carlos had words to express.

"Ya mijo, ya. No llores mas." _(Stop, my son, stop. Don't cry anymore.) _Sylvia tried to sooth her youngest son. "Ya, mi amor, ya." _(Stop, my love, stop.)_

Carlos tried to control himself, to stop crying, but he failed. Kendall had finally fallen asleep and Carlos let everything out. His boyfriend's jaw was swollen and turning a darker shade of blue by the minute. Carlos wanted to find some cure, some miracle cure to take his boyfriend's pain away. Even upon himself, if he had to, just to have Kendall stop hurting. He let go of his mother, sniffing a little and moved to sit next to Kendall, opposite Jennifer, looking down at his Kendy.

"Carlos, honey." Jennifer spoke up, watching Carlos gently caress Kendall' bruised jaw. Carlos looked at her with puffy, red eyes. "I'm sorry Roberto reacted the way he did. Just give him time. He'll come around." Jennifer tried to give Carlos a bit of support.

"Jennifer, thank you for your kind words…" Sylvia let out a couple of stray tears. "… but you don't know my husband." Sylvia's Spanish accent became clearer as her tears overflowed. "Oh, Sylvia." Jennifer got up and hugged her long time friend. "What did he say?" She tried. Sylvia simply shook her head. "Nothing that can be repeated." Carlos replied instead of his mother. Jennifer nodded and held Sylvia, allowing her to cry on her shoulder.

Carlos was beat. He felt useless. Useless and grateful. Useless for not being of any kind of support to his mother and grateful for Jennifer's love and care and acceptance. He sighed as he lay down next to Kendall, letting his head rest on the same pillow. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep, just by simply caressing his love's face, gently, like a butterfly's wings.

The whole time Katie sat on the window sill, her knees to her chest, her hair covering her face so that none of the people in the room could see her expression. She saw Papa García storm out of the house and drive away with nothing but the clothes on his back. She sighed inwardly, afraid of making any kind of noise. She knew it was for the best, but she was hurting, and when Katie was hurting, the reason of her pain would better stay away. Katie fisted her small hands, digging her nails into the palm of her hand to the point of making herself bleed.

Katie was smart for her age, insightful. She'd seen this love story in the making for years. Every time her big brother would hug Carlos, every time the Latino would look up at his best friend, every hockey game they'd win together, every single day had lead to this. Katie knew Carlos was Kendall's happiness and she would be damned if she'd allow anyone to mess that up! She slowly got up from her spot, made her way to the bed and hugged Sylvia from behind. The woman was crying quietly but heavily into Jennifer's shoulder.

"Todo va estar bien, señora." _(Everything is going to be all right, madam.) _Katie whispered to Sylvia. The woman stopped crying and slowly turned to her, eye eyes red and puffy, but filled with amazement.

"Comprendiste todo lo que mi esposo…" _(You understood everything that my husband…)_

"Si, señora. Pero el está equivocado. Tarde o temprano el a va ver eso." _(Yes, madam. But he is wrong. Sooner or later he will see that.) _Katie soothed and Sylvia caressed her hair.

"You're a good person, Katie. A really good person. Thank you." Sylvia let out with a heavy Spanish accent. It was hard for her to focus on speaking English when her heart was torn in two. She knew that Carlos' sexuality would tear her family apart. She was trying to brace herself for the storm that was to come.

* * *

Brooke Diamond stood in the middle of her room. Her arms wrapped tightly around herself. She watched as day turned into night. She admired as twilight took over, turning the sky red and purple and black, watched at stars came out, one by one. She didn't feel her body go stiff, she didn't feel hunger, she didn't feel anything but the pain of history repeating itself. Or, at least for her, that's how it seemed.

A shiver moved down her spine as a knock came to free her from the prison of her painful thoughts and memories.

"Enter." She said in a stern tone of voice.

"Brooke."

"Ryan."

"May I come in?"

"Yes." Brooke said never turning her gaze form the ever-changing painting of the sky.

Ryan entered the room. A tiny piece of paper in his hands.

"How are you holding up?"

"Roberto took the car we came here with. I'm waiting for the rental company to open up tomorrow morning and leave myself."

Ryan sighed. "Not what I asked, but, ok. I just wanted to bring you this." Ryan told Brooke handing her the piece of paper. Brooke saw it with the corner of her eye, but didn't move.

"What is it?"

"Look at it."

Brooke slowly turned her head. She looked Ryan in the eyes. Chocolate brown. She sighed and looked down at his extended hand. The piece of paper had something like a black and white picture on it. "What is it?" She asked again.

Ryan took Brooke's hand and put the paper in her palm, picture side up. "This is Emily Danielle Diamond and it would be a shame for her not to know her paternal grandmother." Ryan whispered.

Brooke looked at the piece of paper for a long time. Ryan stood quietly, awaiting her reaction. Finally Brooke broke down, falling to her knees, crying, cradling the picture to her chest. Ryan kneeled next to her, pulling her head on his shoulder. "James is not David, Brooke. Don't confuse them." After that Ryan kept silence, just holding Brooke, allowing her to cry.

Joanna found her husband like that – holding Brooke. Her jealousy spiked for a split second before she realized Brooke had broken down, crying. She hadn't seen her friend like that ever since her husband, David Diamond, had left her and three year old James for someone else.

Joanna moved into the room, catching her husband's eye. He quietly asked for help. Joanna kneeled next to them both and placed a hand on Brooke's shoulder.

"Brooke…" Brooke turned her red face to Joanna. She and Ryan were the only two people in her life that Brooke had allowed to see her cry. "James is not David." Brooke sniffed. "He deserves to know the truth, Brooke. He's old enough."

Brooke just started crying again, doubling over in pain. Joanna covered Brooke's body with her own, holding her tight, the same way she had years and years ago. "Let it out, Brooke. Let it out. Then tell him the truth." She soothed.

Ryan finally stood up and allowed the two women to take care of the problem their way.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's notes: **

**I know I already updated today. It's insane of me to update twice, right? WRONG! I need this out. I can't write fast enough! I know it's a bit short, but I had to publish it like this or create a monster of a chapter.  
**

**Basically - welcome to Brooke Diamond's life.  
**

**Please review, let me know what you think. Please please pretty please.**

**Love you all!**

* * *

Brooke finally calmed down. She was grateful to Joanna for being there. She thanked her best friend from the bottom of her heart and went to find her son. She knocked rather shyly on James and Logan's bedroom door. A whispered "come in" made her push on the handle and enter, her heart pounding, the little picture still safely clutched in her other hand.

"James…?" She whispered for some reason. The room was dark. She saw nothing but a couple of bumps under the covers on the bed, as the moon light streamed in the large window.

"Yes, mother." He answered with a whisper, his voice letting on to the pain inside of him.

"May I talk to you?"

"Now?"

"Please?"

James sighed. He gingerly kissed Logan's temple and removing his arm from under his fiancée's head as he slept. He got out of bed.

"Not here, mother. Logan is sleeping."

Brooke nodded and exited the room, allowing James some time to throw on a pair of sweat pants and a tank top. James closed the door quietly behind him and led his mother to Gustavo's recording studio. He was expecting screaming and shouting and the studio was sound proof.

Brooke said nothing until James closed the door to the studio. She had understood her son's actions. She didn't recognize him. He was so thoughtful to the people around him, so caring to Logan, it made Brooke's heart melt. Joanna and Ryan were right – James was not David. James had the right to know the truth.

"What do you want, mother?" James asked, leaning against the control panel, his hands folded over his chest, clearly trying to protect himself.

"To talk to you. Explain…" Brooke trailed off. She had no idea where to begin.

"Explain." James told her. Brooke sighed and sat down on the green couch.

"Ryan brought me this." She showed James the precious picture in her hand. James' eyes bulged out. He snatched the paper out of his mother's hand.

"He had no right. This is ours – Logan's and mine." James let out, almost losing his composure.

"Emily Danielle." James' head snapped up to meet his mother's eyes. "After my mother?"

"She was the only one who ever loved me. She brought me up. I suffered her loss with every cell in my body. Not that you ever cared." James spat at her, venom pouring from his voice.

Brooke hung her head. She did deserve that. "I'm sorry, James…" James froze. He'd never in his entire life had been given the honor to hear his own mother apologize. To anyone, let alone to him! "I was a bad mother, I know. I was in pain. I let it take over me. I didn't think of how much you were hurt as well. I'm sorry." Brooke twisted her fingers in her lap. "You deserve to know…" She whispered.

"Know what, mother? Why you abandoned me in my grandmother's care when I was just a baby? Why you never even gave a damn what happened to me? Or why you rejected me and my family?" James listed.

"All of it." Brooke drew in a deep breath, gathering up the courage to look her son in the eyes and, for the first time in her life, be completely honest with him. "Please come sit with me."

"I'm fine where I am."

Brooke sighed and nodded. She deserved her son's harsh treatment. "Ok." She drew in another deep breath, deciding to start with the beginning.

"I want to tell you everything, it's just… hard… and a lot… so… indulge me?" Brooke asked. James lifted an eyebrow, but nodded. Brooke stood up and began pacing. She was too nervous to stand still.

"I was very young when I first met your father. David was charming and beautiful. He had the features and body of a God. You take after him that way." Brooke smiled inwardly at the memory. "I was 16 and stupid. I didn't know better. I fell for him. He was 22. Already a man, in my eyes. His name suited him perfectly. A diamond. My diamond." Brooke smiled a weak smile, finally sitting down, allowing memories she had long forgotten to flow to the surface. "When he used to kiss me I used to think I was in heaven. When he loved me, the world stopped turning. He became my universe. We married by the time I was 19. I was so blind to everything around me. Now, looking back, I see it all – the signs. My stupidity. But then. Then I was head over heels in love with him. When I got pregnant with you I thought God had put his hand on my head, blessing me. I dreamed of a life by David's side, our beautiful baby lighting up our world." Brooke's smile slowly began fading away.

James' hands began unfolding from his chest. He'd never heard this story. He'd never heard of the life his parents had had before David had left. He'd never really known the man. He'd never really missed him. He'd just missed having a father. And a mother. He'd only had Emily – his nana and Jennifer Knight. James sighed. "Go on." He ushered his mother, seeing her lost in her memories. She looked at him and smiled shyly again.

"I started suspecting things when I was six-seven months pregnant with you. Suspecting your father was cheating. He was always gone. Never touching me. I was so insecure. Felt fat. Ugly. Blamed myself for his actions. Blamed you even. Then, one day, I followed him. I don't even know how I got away with it. Maybe he did see me and didn't care. I don't know. What I know is that I followed him into a building, saw him enter a studio. I followed after a while. Snuck inside. Found your father with a man."

James' eyes bulged out completely. "A MAN?!" James yelled. Brooke nodded. "What were they…?" James began but understood the answer from his mother's eyes. "What did you do?"

"Screamed."

"And him?"

"Went on with his business."

"Mom…" James sat down next to Brooke, his actions unconscious.

"The stress made me enter labor early. I got to my car, barely. Called 911. They managed to calm down my contractions, but, that night I delivered you." James gasped audibly. "You were so tiny, so frail. They had you in an oxygen tank for weeks, before you fully developed your lungs. I didn't care about David anymore. You were my only concern. Two days after your birth your father came to the hospital – finally – apologizing for his actions, saying he had been too lost in the pleasure of the moment to think straight and that it had took him that long to finally find us. I decided to believe him. He was your father. My husband. I never fully trusted him again, but…" Brooke stopped talking for a second, trying to gather her thoughts.

James waited quietly for her to go on, his daughter's picture still in his hand.

"We took you home and I was in heaven. David was caring and attentive. I had almost forgotten about that "incident" until the dreadful day… The man David had been with, the same man came to my birthday party. He told me David was with him every second he was not with me. I realized that David had started to not be with me – with us - longer and longer. David found us talking and turned white. The man left and David followed him. He returned a week later with divorce papers. It crushed me. It crushed my heart to dust. For months I wasn't able to function. Mom moved in with us, took care of you, fought my fight in the divorce. She made sure we got every single penny David had in his name."

"Nana did that?"

"Yes, my mother was a very strong woman. She made puppets of men when she wanted to. I… I'm nothing compared to mom." Brooke let out a tear.

"You miss her."

"Of course."

"But why push me away, mom? I hadn't done anything…"

"Oh, James, my sweet child. You were the spitting image of your father. You still are. The only thing you got from me was the color of your eyes." Brooke said, lovingly, caressing James' face.

"Don't say that. I'm not a bastard who cheats on the person that loves him when they're pregnant with my child. I'm never leaving Logan or our baby, mother. I am nothing like that piece of shit you gave me for a father!" James exploded, standing up, running his hands through his hair in a nervous gesture.

"True. You are not David. And I could not be more proud of you." James turned to face his mother in shock. Brooke nodded. "I'm sorry I slapped you. I think I was just reacting to my memories more than your actions or sexuality."

James melted. "What are you saying, mom?"

"I'm saying, James, that I want to be part of Emily's life, should you allow me. I want to be part of your life. I've wasted too much time, trying to prove only God knows what."

"This feels like one of your tricks, mother."

"It's not, James. I promise."

"You won't try to get under my skin to try to break Logan and I up? You won't turn our child against us? You won't…?"

"No, James." Brooke cut her son off.

James looked down at his mother. He could not believe that, after a lifetime of being almost alone, his mother was giving him a complete family. Complete, because, for him, his father had always been dead. Brooke stood up and opened her arms. James just stood there, did nothing.

"I'm sorry, James. I really am. Let me make it up to you. Or, at least, please let me try."

Brooke looked broken even to James' eyes. He took a small step forward.

"Ok, mom. One chance."

Brooke literally flew into James' chest, hugging him as tightly as she could. James held her back.

"Last time I held you, really held you, you were just a baby. Why was I so stupid to miss you turning into an amazing man?" Brooke cried in James' chest.

James smiled, leaning his chin on the top of his mother's head.

* * *

When Logan woke up, midday on Sunday, he felt the bed empty. He got a shower, got dressed and wobbled his way to the kitchen, in search of food. He couldn't help a smile when he heard only laughter coming from the living room.

He momentarily forgot about food, heading for the living room. His family was all together. The only one missing – to no surprise – was Papa García. However, Logan really WAS surprised to see Brooke there. Joking. Laughing. Sitting next to her son.

James looked positively happy, with an arm on the back of his mother's chair, laughing like he had no worry in the world. It made Logan fall even more in love – if that was even possible. It didn't take long for James to sense Logan and look up at him.

"Morning, gorgeous." James greeted, getting up to kiss Logan's sweet lips.

"Hi, yourself." Logan replied the kiss with love.

"I was talking to Emily." James joked. Logan flipped his arm, fake-gasping, but not being able to hide his smile.

"Tease." Logan tip-toed and kissed James again. "What's going on?" Logan asked.

"Family reunion." James explained. "Plus a couple of doctors." He teased.

"Hey!" Dan sounded out.

"Couple being the operative word here." James whispered to Logan, covering his mouth like a child sharing the biggest of secrets.

"James!" Dan warned again.

James giggled and completely ignored Dan. "I think we could "save" a room." James told Logan again, a little louder, trying to get on Dan's nerves.

Dan threw a pillow, hitting James on the back of the head, making everyone laugh.

"Dude! NOT the hair!" James let out and made everyone laugh even louder.

Logan shook his head. He loved how Dan had become like James' older brother. Dan really did fit in their group, being just as insane as all of them, well – outside the hospital and taking care of Logan's pregnancy, when Dan turned from a goof-ball to a serious person.

Logan liked it. Logan liked the atmosphere.

In spite of his sadness over his father's reaction, Carlos was laughing at something his boyfriend had said. Kendall was trying to laugh. His jaw rather black, yet he did not seem to care, holding Carlos on his lap, laughing with Katie, Dan and Fran.

Gustavo and Ryan were sitting by the piano, talking music. Ryan knew little about music, he was a quick learned though – a trait Logan was thankful to have inherited. Gustavo seemed to be enjoying being Ryan's teacher. Logan smiled.

All four moms were sitting around the coffee table, an empty seat next to them, where James had been sitting. The women were chit-chatting, catching up, telling anecdotes from their children's childhood or their own youth.

"Happy?" James asked quietly, into Logan's ear. Logan nodded vigorously. "Happy and hungry." James chuckled. "Wanna go forage?" Logan nodded, a sound of appreciation leaving his throat.

* * *

Sunday passed by with laughter and love and barbeque. The men took care of the meat, while the women – and Logan, for some reason – took care of the rest. That's how Logan learned how much women had to do for barbeques – side dishes and salads and preparation of the meat, while their men only fried whatever was in the bowls.

Logan sighed and sat down to rest his feet, all the moms and Fran imitating mother hens around him, pampering him and catering to his every single little unexpressed need. Yup. It was exhausting. And lovely. Being taken care of was nice. He really did enjoy being pregnant right now. Logan smiled wide.

Every now and then Sylvia would bet sad, but she'd pull it together in a second. Logan felt a pinch of pain every time he caught the sight of Sylvia's pain, but he didn't allow himself to think of it too much – for Emily's sake.

At one point Logan took a bowl of chicken meat to the men to cook. He found them fooling around while only Gustavo looked after the meat on the grill. He kept to himself a little. Logan took the meat to him, listening with his heart flying to James' contagious laugh.

"How's it going, Gustavo."

"Good."

"Why are you all alone?" Logan probed his manager. Gustavo shrugged. "Need some company?"

Gustavo smirked. "Too many women in the kitchen?" He teased.

"Kinda – yeah." Logan giggled. He turned back to look at the other men sitting by the pool. He saw Carlos lose his gaze in the landscape for a second, but, just like his mother, pulling it together right away so Kendall wouldn't notice. And Kendall didn't. Not because Kendall had a bad sense of what was going on around him, but because Carlos was sitting on his bad side – the one with a really black bruise on his jaw. Only when Kendall turned to James, Logan saw that his bruising was going up into his eye. Logan sighed.

"What's wrong?" Gustavo asked, seeing Logan lost in his thoughts.

"How can anyone be that…?"

"Narrow minded?" Logan nodded. Gustavo shrugged. "You have to understand, Logan, Roberto is very religious. His religion thinks same sex relations are a mortal sin. He only wants the best for his family and this is not what he thinks is the best for Carlos."

"Shouldn't his son's happiness be what's most important?" Logan asked with sadness.

"I know, Logan. I know, but for some people religion is the biggest happiness and they don't understand how others can have a different point of view."

"But, Gustavo – my family is religious as well. Going to church and loving God doesn't mean…"

Gustavo shrugged. Neither agreed with Papa García's reaction. Logan sighed again and went back to the kitchen, sending James to include Gustavo in the conversation, as he did.

"You're such a mom." James whispered, kissing Logan's lips.

"Practicing hard." Logan laughed and left him to watch his duck-walk.

* * *

Kendall and Carlos got home on Monday morning. Gustavo had allowed them the day off. There wasn't much to do anyway, but go on interviews and red carpets, for some exposure for the band while James and Logan took care of their little growing family.

"Finally, some peace and quiet." Kendall flopped down on the couch with a happy sigh.

"Yeah…" Carlos replied sadly, dragging their rollers to what used to be Kendall's bedroom.

Kendall's senses tingled in a way he didn't like. He knew Carlos had been the one who'd gotten the proverbial "short stick" with the reaction of his father, but… Kendall sighed. There were no "but"s. Carlos loved and respected his father deeply. He was depressed and it was only natural.

"Litos…" Kendall followed Carlos.

"Yeah…?"

"Did I do something wrong?" Kendall pretended to be ignorant. Carlos needed to get everything off his chest and Kendall needed to push – like always.

"No."

"I know I did…"

"Kendall, stop. You didn't do anything wrong." Carlos' voice went up a half tone.

"Then why are you…?"

"Because you're exasperating me." Carlos squeaked.

"I'm sorry…" Kendall pouted.

"Kendall, really, just stop. I know what you're doing."

"What…?"

"Pushing me to tell you what's on my mind." Carlos said barely audible.

"Then just tell me." Kendall pleaded, speaking no higher than Carlos, hugging him to his chest.

"You already know."

"I'm stupid. I don't."

Carlos let out a sound out his nose. "You're not stupid, Kendall." Carlos tried to pull away. Kendall held on tighter. "Please let go."

"I promised I would never do that." Kendall held on tighter. Carlos made another sound, giving up, hugging Kendall in return.

"I don't want to talk."

"Then what do you want to do?"

"Cuddle." Carlos hid his face in Kendall's chest as tears began to stream down his eyes.

"Bed?" Carlos shook his head. "Couch?" Carlos nodded. Kendall picked Carlos up in his arms, carrying him back to the living room. "What do you wanna watch?" Carlos shrugged. "How about a stupid '60s fiction movie?" Carlos agreed.

They spent the next two or three hours in front of the TV watching '60s aliens invade Earth over and over again. Carlos managed to forget about his father, all wrapped up in his love's embrace.

"Carlos?" Kendall asked suddenly.

"Mmm?"

"Look at me." Carlos lifted his head, looking deep into Kendall's eyes. Kendall lost himself in Carlos' gaze. "I love you." He said simply before proving his words with a kiss. A slow, sweet kiss that melted his bones.

When they pulled apart Carlos sighed. "I love you." He hugged Kendall close, wrapping his arms around his waist, in a bear-like grip.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's note's:**

**Ok, I've just realized that my "self inflicted" dead line is like REALLY close so I have to update more if I want to get them where I want them. So, if you like my story, come check it more often. :))**

**One little shout out to Kimmie - thank you for reading every little thing I write. Love you. You have no idea!**

**So, this is more about Carlos - cause, you know, he's my favorite, so I had to give him a bit of face-time, or...well... just read and see.**

**Love you, m dear readers. Please review and let me know what you think. **

**Love, love LOVE!**

* * *

January 24th, 5 am. "Who the FUCK is calling me at this time of night?" Gustavo growled, but still answered the phone. "WHAT?!"

"Gustavo! Gustavo! Please! Please! Please! I need your help – please!" Carlos' voice came through the speaker, erratically.

"What?"

"I need you to keep Kendall busy today – please! I beg you, Gustavo! Please!"

"What?"

"I need Kendall out of the house. PLEASE!"

"DOG! DID YOU JUST WAKE ME UP TO MAKE ME PART OF SOME STUPID SCHEME TO SURPRISE YOUR BOYFRIEND?"

"Gustavo, please! You're the only one that can help me – just keep Kendall busy – send him to an interview or something – please!"

"Fine!" Gustavo growled.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthan kyouthankyouthankyouthankyou !"

Gustavo ended the conversation, turned on his side and fell back asleep.

* * *

Carlos was giddy. Gustavo had come through for him, sending Kendall to some charity event that would take up all of his day, allowing Carlos the whole day to finally…do what he had planned for days now but never got around to do because Kendall was right there, by his side, all the time. Not that Carlos minded, but… ugh! Relationships! Why does everything have to be so complicated?

Kendall left. Carlos' heart began racing. He didn't have to do that just now, did he? Kendall would be tied up all day long after all…NO! He had to do that now or else he'd lose his nerve. Carlos sighed and headed for his old room.

He found the brown paper box right where he had left it a few days ago, in the middle of his nightstand. Carlos sighed ripping the packaging, his heart racing harder than ever. As soon as he had his hands on the box inside he felt like fainting.

He got half hard imagining what he could feel. He turned the box around and read the writing – anal training kit – in big bold black letters. Under the title there was a picture of the contents. Three things Carlos had learned to be butt plugs, of different shapes, in the brightest pink color; a couple of bright green balls that Carlos really did not fathom how he could ever use, since he kind of lacked a vagina – ok he had bought a box for women! Carlos faceplamed; a couple of dildos – a small silver one and a bigger black one that looked rather painful to use – Carlos put that back in the box before losing his nerve; and a bottle of cherry flavored lube – a big bottle. Yeah, his day would be interesting.

Carlos laid out his toys and got his laptop. His poor heart began racing harder as his pants grew tighter. Carlos couldn't wait as he chose his video. He found one with a sexy Latin looking guy and a shorter blonde man. That looked close enough to what he needed.

As soon as the men on screen began kissing and Carlos' imagination changed their faces to his and Kendall's, Carlos' hand found his way inside his underpants with ease, stroking his length harshly, to full erection.

As the men on screen got naked so did Carlos. His heart racing, his body needing. A hand caressed his nipples as he pulled his own shirt off. His dick twitched painfully and Carlos moaned without wanting to. Maybe this won't be as hard as he had initially thought. Carlos eyed his toys. The men on screen moaned. The sound made Carlos' blood boil. He reached a hand for the smallest of his butt plugs. He licked his lips looking at it. Another moan and he turned to see the men kissing again, their tongues licking one another in such a way that made Carlos touch himself again.

He remembered the forums said he needed to be lubed up. He got the bottle from the table, breaking the seal, his nostrils filling with the sweet cherry scent. The liquid was a little sticky and cold on his fingers as he poured a little on his hand. It made him harder thinking what it would be like to have Kendall do that for him.

As another moan came from his laptop, Carlos didn't stop himself. His hand wandered to his full length. The feeling of his colder, slippery fingers making him arch his back in pleasure. He stroked up and down and up and down, but as his hand went down again he didn't stop at the base of his dick anymore. He gently touched his ball sack, gasping in pleasure.

"Oh, Kendall…" He breathed out, his hand going lower still. A finger slipped inside his hole before Carlos even knew what he was doing. He opened his eyes and awaited the pain. It never came. He moved his finger a little. Still no pain. He slipped it in deeper. Still no pain. Carlos dared a second finger, driven on by the moans from his laptop, his other hand gripping at the towel he'd laid on his sheets. It felt weird. It stung a little. But it was bearable. He imagined Kendall's long fingers inside of him and a moan left his lips when he slid his two fingers deeper inside. "Fuck." Carlos let out as he accidentally scissored his fingers. "Fuck, that's good." He repeated his movements. Once. Twice. Three times. Then he felt he had more room to move. His body had relaxed around his fingers.

Carlos turned his head a little. His eyes landing on the screen. He saw the blond man put his dick inside the bigger Latino guy. His own dick ached for a touch. His free hand went to gently touch at the tip. Carlos let out a hot breath. He needed more. He wanted to know how it felt like. He reached for the little butt plug. His last remaining working brain cell screamed out "lube" and Carlos turned to take the bottle again. That forced him to take his fingers out of himself. He hissed. He felt empty. He didn't like it so he made quick work of coating his butt plug and inserting it.

Carlos hissed. It did hurt. Just a little. Just enough to get Carlos moaning. His hand went to touch his dick. A little stroke up. Just a little one, as the Latino man on screen came all over the desk he'd been leaning on. Carlos moaned. It wasn't enough. He moved the plug a little. It felt delicious. "Fuck fuck fuck FUCK! Kendall…" He moaned. The pain was gone by now. He wanted it back. He tried to get the toy deeper inside, but it didn't work. He pulled it out in anger and threw it away as far as he could, hissing as the air filled the empty space inside of him. His hole was now throbbing in need. Carlos stood on his knees, eyeballing his toys. The other butt plugs didn't seem enough. He grabbed the dildo. It looked thin and easy to slip in.

He grabbed the lube, his hands no longer shaky. He coated the silver toy as fast as he could and got it back to his hole. He gently pushed the tip in. It hurt. Carlos bit his lip in pleasure. He pushed deeper. He moaned. He needed more. He moved the toy out a little and deeper inside. He liked the feeling. He did it again. And again. And again. Each time going a little bit deeper inside. Then he switched his grip on the toy, accidentally flipping on a little switch he had missed before. The silver rod began slowly vibrating and Carlos moaned out loud. "Dear God!" He let out, hitting his sweet spot.

"Fuck." Carlos began moving the toy violently inside of himself, still sitting on his knees, his ass high up in the air. He completely forgot about jacking himself off. It felt so delicious to hit that vibrating thing on THAT spot. His thumb brushed over the switch again and the toy began vibrating harder as Carlos pushed it deep-deep inside, abusing his prostate. His other hand flew to his dick, touching just lightly, pushing the dildo as far as it would go. Another move of his wrist across his length and Carlos came screaming out Kendall's name, his body going limp, his heart racing at the speed of sound.

When he finally came down from his high, Carlos found himself lying in a pool of his own sperm, with the vibrating rod inside of him. He pulled it out carefully. He felt empty.

"Fuck! How the FUCK am I supposed to wait until tomorrow?" He asked himself. He now knew what it felt like to be full. He wanted that again. For FUCK's sake he wanted it so bad! Why had he been so scared?

Granted, Kendall was much thicker and much longer than his toy, but… Then Carlos remembered his black dildo. The one he had deemed scary. He got hard just thinking about having that inside of him. Carlos quickly got off the bed and grabbed the black dildo from its box. He gulped looking at the width of it. With the toy in hand and his hard on back, Carlos sat on the bed, in the sticky mess he had made. He couldn't have cared less right now.

He grabbed the bottle of lube and squirted a generous amount of it on the tip of the dildo. He watched it drip down to the base, imagining how he'd see that on Kendall's wide length. That made Carlos just want to lick it. So he did. The lube tasted good, but the plastic didn't.

He coated the rest of the dildo, already imagining the thing inside of him. He sat back on all fours, sticking his butt out. Carlos kind of liked that. For some reason he felt sexy sitting like that. Then he got a little idea. He put the dildo on the bed, gripping it tightly at the base and gently lowered himself on top of it. Suddenly fear gripped at his heart. He ignored it and pushed down a little. The tip of the toy entered him.

Ok, now – it hurt. Carlos closed his eyes, trying his best to imagine Kendall under him instead of the black plastic torture device. It burned like hell. Carlos made himself relax. He moved lower a little. "Fuck. That hurts." He let out, a drop of cold sweat running down his spine as he moved back up a little. A little too much. The toy slipped out. His hole felt abused and throbbing. Carlos loved it. What was wrong with him? Why did he love it? A person's not supposed to love being in pain! Self inflicted pain.

Carlos sighed and gave into the needs of his body, slipping down on the toy again. Oh, how it hurt. He slipped down lower with a loud moan. "Fuck." Carlos went up, off the toy. Then he missed the pain. He wasn't normal. He slipped back down, halfway down or more. It still hurt like fuck, but he wanted more. Carlos moved up, not all the way, but slipped down all the way. It hurt bad. So bad. But oh so good. He wanted more. He began to move. Faster and faster and faster until he couldn't breathe anymore. There was no more pain, just pleasure. Mind blowing pleasure. He searched for any switch. He found it and turned it on fully. The dildo started vibrating like nobody's business and Carlos couldn't hold his moans in. He leaned forward, sticking his butt up, working the toy inside of him like his life depended on it, hitting that spot inside of him full on every single stroke. His hand moved to his dick, moving at the same rhythm as his dildo and he came.

Carlos' body gave out from under him, making him lie in the puddle of his own sticky seed. He didn't care. He stopped the toy inside of him and gingerly pulled it out. He allowed himself time to recover and fell asleep.

When Carlos woke up he found that two whole hours had passed. He got off the bed. A bit of pain shot through his spine as he did. He smiled. He now knew what it could feel like to have Kendall inside of him. He could only imagine that everything would just be better. Carlos gathered his toys to go clean them and himself up.

His foot stopped midair as Carlos realized that, if the pleasure of having Kendall inside of him would be twice as good, then he could say the same thing about the "after" pain. Carlos smiled like a stupid person heading for the shower. He certainly could not wait to feel that pain.

* * *

Logan sat up from his place on the couch where he, James and Dan had been playing cards, to get to the bathroom – the bad part about being pregnant, awful bladder control. Halfway across the living room Logan doubled in pain. His cry made James fly to his side.

"Logan?!"

"Logan, what's wrong?" Dan asked.

"It hurts." Logan panted.

"James..." Dan started. James didn't need to be told, he simply scooped Logan up in his arms and got him to the room where Dan had his machinery all set up, putting Logan on the bed.

Logan was breathing like Dan had told him to. It didn't help.

Dan got the machinery started while James opened Logan's shirt and got some gel on his tummy. Dan didn't lose any time, bringing the scanner to Logan's belly. Emily's heartbeat came out loud from the machine. Logan couldn't help but smile.

"She's turned." Dan informed them. "She's getting ready to come into the world."

Logan's eyes widened. It seemed too early. "N-n-no." He let out.

"It's not up to you, Logan. She's running out of space. Your uterus is not big enough. Your body is not spacious enough. She's grown all she can inside there. She wants out." Dan told Logan, still looking at the screen, moving the scanner over Logan's belly.

Logan doubled over again.

"Yup." Dan said. "That was a contraction. She wants out."

"Can you stop it?" James asked with worry.

"Stop what?" Dan pushed a few buttons, took a screen capture.

"The contractions. Mom told me it's possible." James ran a hand through his hair, the other holding Logan's in a death grip. "We need to get Logan to the hospital."

"Yes I can. And I will. Just let me see Emily a little." Dan told James, a little distracted by his measurements.

"Baby…" Logan tried to soothe James' worry.

"You'll be fine. Emily will be fine." James caressed Logan's sweaty hair and kissed his lips.

"We will. Please relax."

"The pain went away?"

"The contractions aren't regular yet. It's just the early stages of labor. I may not need to administer any drugs. Logan might be able to make it to the hospital on his own." Dan said.

"Yeah… that's better." Logan agreed.

"No! Give him whatever you have to, please, I can't stand to see him in pain." James' eyes were wide and wild and filled with worry and fear.

"Jamie, it's ok. I can take it."

"I don't want you to have to take it." James looked down at Logan with love.

"It's the price of life, baby. A mother's pain is the price of giving life."

"I don't care. You can't be in pain like that… Not when we have options."

"There, we're done, Logan. I'll call the hospital, let them know we're coming. Get your stuff?"

Logan nodded. "Yes, doctor. Please don't forget to call Frannie."

Dan nodded and went out of the room.

Logan doubled over in pain again. "Fuck" He let out, gripping onto James.

"DAN!" James yelled. "GET IN HERE AND GIVE LOGAN SOMETHING TO TAKE THE FUCKING PAIN AWAY OR I'LL FUCKING CASTRATE YOU!"

"Baby, stop screaming. It's ok."

"NO IT'S NOT! YOU'RE HURTING!"

"Jamie, love, please." Logan straightened his back. "Help me get to the bathroom?"

James nodded and took Logan to the bathroom. He wanted to help even inside, but Logan literally kicked his shin to get him out and – by God! – pee in peace! He finished with a happy sigh and washed his hands. He stepped into the bedroom to a ready-made bag and a very white, very worried James standing in the middle of the room, like a perfect statue. Which kind of scared Logan – James usually paced around. Ok, James might be losing it.

"Baby?"

James took a small step forward and Logan let out a small breath of relief.

"How are you feeling?"

"Ok. Considering I'm in labor." Logan smiled. "James, just think, soon we'll be able to meet our baby." Logan said dreamingly.

James nodded. He crossed the distance between him and Logan, holding on to him for dear life. Visions of his life without Logan passing through his mind:

_James feeding their daughter. Alone._

_James combing her hair for the first day of school. Alone._

_James holding their baby as he rocked her to sleep, then lying in their huge bed. Alone._

_Emily asking about her mother._

_James holding Joanna as she watched their daughter through the school fence, crying._

Horrible flashes filled James' visions in the second that it took him to blink.

"I'll be fine, James. You know that."

"I pray for that."

"James."

"I'm terrified, Logan. For the first time in my life, I'm terrified out of my skull."

"Dan will take good care of Emily and I."

"Logan… if anything happens to you… I… I don't know… I don't know if…"

Logan held the pain of another contraction inside, breathing trough his nose, as James clung to him in fear. "James…" He whispered once the pain had passed.

"Please, please, please… just…"

"James. Man up. I can do this. Emily and I can do this. Now – stop being such a baby and take me to the hospital so I can bring our baby into the world." He ordered.

James nodded and obeyed. He let go of Logan, slung the ready-made bag over his shoulder and scooped Logan up in his arms.

"I can walk, James."

"You can duck-walk. We're in a hurry." James said already rushing out the door, freezing in front of the stairs, descending them carefully, one at a time.

"You said you like my duck-walk…" Logan pouted.

"I do. It's fucking sexy. But too slow, my love."

Logan kissed James' cheek. "You still think I'm sexy?"

"Yes, Logan. You are beautiful and very sexy." James stopped and looked Logan in the eyes. "And you'd better not leave me alone, because I don't think I know how to live without you anymore. I don't even know how I could breathe without you for so long. I love you, Logan, every inch, every side, every little thing about you." James kissed Logan. Slowly but deeply. Gently, but full of passion and need and love.

Logan didn't say anything. There was nothing to say. Nothing he could say to let James know how he felt. Emily would say it all for him with her first cry.

James got Logan on the back seat of Dan's rented car and sat in next to him, taking advantage of the dark tinted windows. He was grateful for the dark veil of night that was covering their trip. It made it a little bit safer for them to get in the hospital un-noticed.

Logan was admitted to the hospital and rushed into prenatal check-ups. Dan had basically taken possession of the tiny hospital. James wasn't allowed to move outside the waiting area. Dan's orders. James was terrified. He found himself crying silently when Dan came in to tell him that he had finished the tests, that Logan was perfectly fine, that Emily was perfectly fine as well and that he had decided it might be better for the baby to wait a bit longer and had medicated Logan to stop the labor, which meant that Logan had to be submitted to the hospital for round-the-clock care. All that James heard was that his Logan was fine and not in pain anymore. He rushed to Logan's side, kissing his finger tips the very second they were together again. Logan looked white, but the smile on his face made James turn to mush.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's notes:**

**As previously promised I'm updating faster. I'm getting close to the finish line now. Honestly, I'm feeling a little sad over that, but, this story is inside of my head too much.**

**This is a monster of a chapter, but it's the long awaited anniversary, so I kind of indulged myself a little. I didn't get everything I wanted in - it just kind of developed on its own, without my control, really.**

**Hope you guys like it, at least.**

**Let me know, pwwweeeeeaaase!**

**Love!**

* * *

January 25th and Carlos woke up at 5 am again. No alarm needed, thank you very much, just knowing that today was THE day was enough to get Carlos' energy level to a new high. And that meant no sleep.

He gingerly got out of Kendall's bed and his embrace and went to his old room. He made quick work of putting up the white Christmas lights he'd bought yesterday just for this purpose. Carlos had wanted candles, but that meant open fire and Carlos and open fire usually means something getting burned, usually himself. Once he had burned his mother's favorite curtains, almost turning the whole house down – granted he was 7 at the time, but still Carlos had learned his lesson.

Carlos took a step back. His room looked like pulled out of a fairytale. He loved it. He looked over at the bed. He'd bought a new mattress, since Kendall didn't like sleeping on the water one. He'd bought new black silk sheets with silver musical patterns around the edges to go with the new mattress. It looked just right in the twinkling light he'd put up all over the place.

Carlos felt nervous. He opened the little drawer of his nightstand and sighed happily when he saw that the condoms and the brand new tube of orange flavored lube he'd put in there were still in the same place. Carlos was so nervous he'd thought they'd sprout legs and walk away, leaving him unprepared for what was to come. Carlos shook his head and decided he was insane. He took a deep, cleansing breath and looked at his red watch. Three hours had passed. Kendall would be up soon. Carlos still wasn't ready for him to see all of this. He quickly returned to Kendall, slipping into the bathroom to get rid of all the sweat he'd worked up getting his room ready.

Not even ten minutes later Kendall walked in, still half asleep, his hair a mess, pillow marks on his perfect skin. Carlos caught himself drooling from within the shower.

"You weren't there…" Kendall whined.

"Good morning to you too, love." Carlos replied with a giggle.

Kendall ran a hand down his face, trying to wake himself up. "Good morning." Kendall replied, a smile on his lips, his eyes still half lidded. Carlos returned to his shower. "Hey! Where's my kiss?" Kendall pouted.

Kendall pouted a lot lately. Ever since he became Carlos' boyfriend. Carlos likes Kendall's pout, it's adorable and perfectly kissable, so Carlos leaned in out of the spray of the shower and kissed Kendall's pout gently. "Good morning." Carlos returned to his shower while Kendall smiled and kept watching him. "What?" Carlos asked, running a bit of soap down his chest.

"Watching my gorgeous boyfriend take a shower. Is that wrong?" Kendall flirted.

"No…" Carlos giggled nervously. So Kendall put the toilet seat down and kept watching. Carlos blushed and turned to hide it, not really realizing that he's naked and exposing everything to Kendall as he bent down to wash his legs.

Kendall swallowed hard and fought himself from jumping Carlos. But Carlos was not ready yet so he dug his nails in his own palms, drawing a little blood and calmed himself down.

Carlos finally realized what he had done and stood up straight, allowing the warm spray to wash the soap away. He swallowed hard, quietly, making sure he was completely clean now. He turned the water off and grabed his towel from the rack to dry his hair off.

"Awww…" Kendall cooed. "You're done already?" He let out with disappointment. "I was enjoying the show so much."

_"Not as much as you should have…"_ Carlos thought, looking at Kendall's crotch from the cover of his towel, not seeing what he had hoped, not knowing of the painful little crescent shaped wounds in Kendall's palms. Carlos still managed to keep a little smile on his face, running the towel lower on his body, over his chest.

Kendall stood, licking his lips. "Need help?" He asked in a sultry tone of voice that sent shivers down Carlos' spine. He was barely controlling himself from giving Kendall his anniversary gift early, but he had a plan to woo his boyfriend today, so he denied gently, leaving Kendall with his mouth wide open in surprise.

"I want to go make my boyfriend breakfast for our first anniversary." Carlos threw over his shoulder, hanging his towel around his waist as he exited the bathroom. Kendall gasped. Carlos headed for the kitchen with a silly smile on his face.

He had everything ready since yesterday. All he needed to do now was warm some things up and plate it all. Kendall had no idea of the day he's in store for. Carlos smiled as he moved about the kitchen, fully aware of Kendall's gaze on him, as he was cooking half naked. He pretended not to notice his boyfriend as he decided on humming a tune to himself, give Kendall something to listen to.

Kendall sat there, just watching, leaning against the wall, a smile on his face.

"Breakfast!" Carlos called a little loudly, putting the plates on the counter.

Kendall moved from his spot into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around Carlos' waist, letting his chin rest on his boyfriend's shoulder. "You're a bad actor, baby." Carlos gasped audibly. Kendall had no idea just how good an actor he really was. Kendall kissed his naked shoulder and Carlos leaned into his boyfriend.

"Let's eat, baby. I'm hungry." Carlos let out. Kendall smiled and rounded the counter, sitting down in the place Carlos had set up for him.

* * *

Logan woke up in a hospital room filled with flowers. James was standing by the window, messing with his phone. Logan allowed himself a moment to drink in the beauty of his future husband.

"Hi, baby." He let out while stretching his stiff arms. James stopped from taking his phone to his ear, shutting it off as he crossed the distance to Logan's side in two short strides.

"Hi, gorgeous." James kissed Logan's lips.

"Talking to Emily again?" Logan teased.

"Nope. Hi, Emily." James kissed Logan's belly, over his hospital gown. Logan giggled.

"You're so adorable." James kissed his lips again. Logan loved the warmth and softness of James' lips against his own. He sighed a little sigh, keeping his eyes closed a little longer than he had to. "Who were you calling?" Logan asked.

"Kendall."

"Why?"

"What do you mean "why"? To let him know you're gonna deliver soon!" James replied in a "dooh" tone of voice. Logan sighed. "What?" James' voice was a bit high pitched, signaling he was getting annoyed with Logan's know-it-all-why-can't-you-see-it-it's-so-obvious sigh.

"What date is today?" Logan asked, coaching James to the reason for his sigh.

"The 25th. SO?!"

"What's today – for Kendall and Carlos…?" Logan coached again.

"A working day…?" James let out, annoyance clear over his face, right before catching on. "OOOOOOOH!" He let out. "Their one month anniversary." James facepalmed. Logan smiled. He loved it when James finally caught on to something that should have been obvious. "You're such a mother! Always remembering silly details like that." James cooed with love, caressing Logan's face.

Logan let his face rest in the palm of James' hand. "Practicing for the real deal."

* * *

Kendall took Carlos out on a date, instead of a gift. They went gliding off a cliff. That's something Kendall has done before many times and he is really good at. Carlos has always wanted to try, but was always too afraid.

It was the perfect date as Kendall gave Carlos a place to wear his helmet out in public without fear of being ridiculed, he gave Carlos the courage to face his fear of heights and fulfilled his dream of being able to fly outside an airplane, not to mention that sharing a glider – since Carlos had no idea what he should be doing – was the perfect opportunity to be close, real close, in full view, without fear of other people's opinions.

Carlos was enjoying every single second – the wind in his face, the breath-taking view, Kendall's warm body on top of his, as they're hanging from the harnesses. Carlos felt safe and loved and his face hurt from smiling so hard. He turned to look at Kendall and mouths "I love you" up at him.

Kendall smiled, wishing he could kiss Carlos right then and there. But he had to focus on the currents and fly their glider, plus, Kendall sighed inwardly, they're not allowed PDA moments. He still mouths "I love you" right back. Carlos' smile made Kendall happy. He wished they would never have to go back down to earth.

But, Kendall still had to land. He did so with a sigh. There was a guy on the beach that helped them get out of their harnesses. As soon as he got free Carlos ran right into the water, much like a child. Kendall smiled and patiently waited for his harness to be taken off as well. He ran after Carlos and splashed him with water.

Carlos turned and ran right into Kendall, making them both take a head-first tumble into the shallow water of the ocean. While they're still under water Carlos brushed his lips against Kendall's, making both their hearts race for the split second it lasted.

* * *

Dan entered the room to find Logan and James cuddling in bed, while Logan was reading out loud – rather out whispered – from a baby book. He smiled at how corny those two were.

"Hey, guys."

"Hi, doc." James greeted.

"Hi." Logan smiled, looking up from his book.

"How are we feeling?" Dan asked looking over Logan's chart, making sure everything had been done to his exact specifications.

"Quite well, honestly. I've had no more contractions and Emily has been gentle with me. She's only kicking on my outer wall – not my organs." Logan giggled, remembering a particular sharp kick he'd gotten to the liver just last week.

"Good, good." Dan nodded. "I need to make sure the O.R. has everything I need, so, I'll be back in a little while. If you need anything or the contractions start up again…"

"I'll have James get you." Logan smiled wide. Dan had told him the same line over and over again, every hour on the hour. "I'm fine, Dan, I promise."

"Look, Logan, I know I'm stressing you a little, but, you've become more than just a patient to me. So, you kinda have to deal with that." Dan put a hand on Logan's forearm. James lifted an eyebrow.

"Dude! Hands off. He's mine. And carrying my baby, ok?" James let out, only half joking.

Dan let out a laugh. "You know…" He addressed Logan, pushing his hands in his pockets, winking a little. "… you are the kind of guy that can turn a straight man gay…"

Logan blushed. James squealed his high-pitch squeal and Dan began to laugh. He loved getting to James every chance he had. Logan giggled as James wrapped his arms tighter around his torso, spitting out "MINE!" right at Dan's face.

Dan left laughing loudly.

"You do know he was joking, right?" Logan cuddled up closer into James chest.

"I'm not that sure."

"Well, even if he wasn't." Logan looked up at James. "I'm all yours. Only yours."

James pressed a greedy kiss on Logan's lips that quickly got a bit out of hand. Logan parted from James, panting.

"Baby, as sexy as you are and as much as I want to let this go on." Logan pressed his boner into James thigh causing a wide, smug smile to appear on his beloved features. "We're in a hospital, with no lock on the door and I could go into labor at any second…"

James sighed. "I know, baby. But you're so sexy, I can't control myself sometimes." He replied as his hand gently slipped down Logan's ass, taking advantage of his backless hospital gown. Logan yelped a little, pressing his erection into James' leg again.

"Baby…" His voice was already laced with lust.

"Stop sounding like that." James whispered, squeezing Logan's ass cheek.

Logan looked up at James, his eyes filled with lust, biting his lip. "Stop." He said, pushing his raging hard on into James. James swallowed hard, licking his lips. Logan crushed their lips together. James moaned in appreciation, gently moving his finger over Logan's hole, just caressing, barely even touching. Logan kept pressing into James.

When they both needed air James moved from under Logan, taking him in his arms. "Bathroom." He whispered, crossing the distance with long, needy strides. He put Logan up in the small shower bathtub and locked the door before getting on his knees. Logan didn't have time to say a word before James had Logan's gown over his head and Logan's penis inside of his mouth, sucking at it with all of his might, deep throathing like there was no tomorrow.

Logan didn't last long. He came down his love's throat embarrassingly fast. "God, James!" He let out. James came out from under Logan's gown. "Good?" He asked. "Fuck! You were meant to give head, baby. It's obscene how you never gag!" Logan ran a hand through his hair, feeling his knees giving out. James stood and steadied him. "I was meant to give YOU head, baby. My sexy, delicious Logan." James kissed his lips before opening the door and carrying him back to bed, as if nothing had even happened. Logan fell in a light sleep on James' chest. James kissed the top of his head.

* * *

As night began to fall Carlos was fidgeting more and more. He had allowed Kendall to take over the day and had had fun. Gliding had been a total rush. He hadn't expected to be taken on a date. A real date. Out in public. He loved every single second of it. It actually had been his and Kendall's first real date. He held the memory dear to his heart.

Now Kendall was in the kitchen, making dinner and Carlos was taking a shower, his nerves getting the best of him. He got out, drying his hair. Kendall had forbidden him access to the kitchen and living room until otherwise instructed. Carlos had giggled and said he'd stay in his old room to allow Kendall all the space he needed.

Carlos got out of the bathroom, after finishing his shower and preparations, naked as his momma had brought him to the world. He slowly started to get dressed taking the black boxer briefs had laid out for himself. Then he had a mischievous idea. He put the undergarments back in his drawer and giggled, pulling up his black dress pants on and zipping them up carefully. He put on his black silk button up and a silver tie. He decided against a jacket, at the very last minute, simply taking the little silver box he had wrapped up nicely for his Kendall and opening the door.

"Baby, can I come out now?" He asked, sounding impatient.

"Five minutes!" Kendall called out.

Carlos smirked and closed the door, plugging in the Christmas lights, pulling down his window curtains. He really liked the effect. He gave himself another once-over in the mirror. Yeah, he really did look good. And happy. He smiled at his reflection before turning off the main light, shutting the door, carefully behind him.

"Ready or noooot here I cooome!" He called out taking a small step towards the living room. He could smell something delicious and he saw dimmed lights. Kendall must have had the same ideas as he did. Carlos smirked.

Kendall came around the corner wearing a light crème suit. Carlos' heart skipped a beat.

"Ok, I think I might have over cooked our dinner a little, but… Wow, you look gorgeous!" Kendall stopped in his tracks. Carlos blushed a little. "So are you, my love, so are you."

Carlos crossed the distance between them and kissed Kendall slowly, deeply. When they parted Kendall was panting, his heart blasting out of his chest. He put his hands over Carlos' eyes.

"What…?" Carlos let out in surprise.

"I want you to get the full effect." Kendall whispered in Carlos' ear, sending shivers down his spine, making him bite down on his lip, to keep a little moan in. God! He wanted Kendall so badly! He couldn't wait to get this all over with and give Kendall his surprise.

Kendall gently led him into the living room, letting go so Carlos could see the lovely candle lit dinner he'd set up for the both of them. Carlos gasped.

"You did all this?"

"Yes…" Kendall replied a little shyly, pulling out a chair. Carlos sat down, feeling pampered as Kendall served him seafood and corndogs. Carlos giggled.

"Corndogs."

"I actually made those… not guaranteeing they're all that good…" Carlos melted.

"They don't really go with oysters…"

"But you love them." Kendall shrugged.

"I love you." Carlos got up and kissed Kendall deeply. Kendall pulled him in his lap and deepened their kiss until both of them were hard. "I think I'm sitting on your phone…" Carlos teased, happy with the reaction he'd gotten by just one little kiss. Kendall blushed. Carlos got up and sat back in his seat.

All through dinner Kendall was a bundle of nerves. He wanted to take it one step further with Carlos. This was the perfect opportunity. He had a nice, romantic movie all set up for them, hoping to get Carlos in the mood, but he had no idea what to do. He had done his research – he knew HOW to do it – well, in theory, anyway, but… how to get Carlos to want to?

After a rushed-through half-charred dinner Carlos finally said it was time for him to get his gift. Kendall had been waiting for that gift for DAYS. It had seemed like an eternity to him. Then Carlos produced a tiny little box in silver wrapping out of his pocket. Kendall remembered the big box that Carlos had said was his anniversary gift. He frowned.

Carlos saw his expression. It amused him a little knowing Kendall was expecting a much bigger box. "What is it, amor?" Carlos cooed.

"I… emm…" Kendall mumbled.

"Was expecting a bigger box?" Carlos chuckled.

"Well, yeah! I mean – it's been sitting right there, teasing me for more than a week and…"

"I re-packed it." Carlos shrugged.

"You mean…"

"Packing peanuts."

Kendall hung his head in shame. "I'm stupid."

"You're perfect." Carlos kissed Kendall's lips, making him smile. "Open it." Carlos said gesturing to the little box. Kendall did what he was told opening the tiny box to find an odd really PINK contraption that he had no idea what it was.

"Emm…what…?" Kendall took the bright piece of plastic in his hand.

Carlos' heart began racing, seeing Kendall's slim fingers wrap around the toy he'd had inside of him just yesterday. He got hard at the sight. "Butt plug." Carlos whispered in Kendall's ear, letting out a hot breath over Kendall's ear shell.

Kendall's eyes opened wide. "A what?" He swallowed hard.

Carlos took his hand in a shaky grip. Not that Kendall noticed just how much Carlos was shaking. He was too amazed at what he had heard. Carlos led him to his old room. Kendall followed blindly, gripping tight on the piece of plastic. Carlos opened the door to his room.

Kendall's breath hitched in his throat. He stepped forward. Everything looked like a fairytale. He stopped by the bed seeing a new mattress and new sheets. Carlos stepped inside and closed the door, effectively creating a magical cocoon for the both of them.

"Wanna take a bath with me?" Carlos asked in a sultry voice. Kendall looked in his eyes and nodded slightly. Carlos crossed the distance between them, pulling Kendall by the hips. "Kiss me." He ordered. Kendall put his arms around Carlos' neck and obeyed, kissing Carlos with everything he had, still not letting go of the little pink piece of plastic.

Carlos opened his button up, caressing his chest and Kendall gasped for air. "Carlos…"

"Si, mi vida…" _(Yes, mi life)_

"Are we…?"

"Do you want to?"

"Yes."

"Then we are. I love you, Kendall. I want you to know just how much." Carlos replied before crushing their lips together.

"I'm scared, Carlos."

"It's ok, mi vida. I know what to do." Carlos brought his lips to Kendall's once more, gently. He took Kendall's clothes off, one at a time. Kendall stood there, clutching his fingers around the toy, gasping every time Carlos' fingers touched his skin.

When he was done with Kendall's clothing, Carlos took a step back, just looking at his gorgeous boyfriend. "God, you're so beautiful." Carlos let out raking his eyes back up Kendall's body. He noticed the clutched fist, the growing hard on, the hard breathing – matching his own – the slightly parted, pink lips and the lust in Kendall's eyes. Carlos desperately wanted to touch Kendall, kiss him, make him moan and shiver and writhe under him, but held back.

"You might be wearing too much clothes for a bath." Kendall let out in a shaky breath.

"Maybe you could help me." Carlos smiled smugly.

Kendall took a small step forward, taking Carlos' hand, placing the little piece of pink plastic in his hand, curling his fingers around it. "Keep it safe for me. I may want you to teach me how to use it, later." Kendall whispered in Carlos' ear, making him painfully hard. Carlos nodded lazily.

Kendall untied Carlos' tie slowly, pulling it from around his neck sharply. He unbuttoned Carlos' buttons one by one, careful not to touch the perfect caramel skin at all. He only touched Carlos when he pushed the thin black silk off of his boyfriend, using both of his palms, fingers fully stretched out, almost like spider legs, over his boyfriend's chest and shoulders, just grazing a little over his hardened nipples. Carlos moaned, his head falling back a little, exposing the most beautiful and perfect skin. Kendall wanted to kiss him, he leaned in just the tiniest bit, but remembered Carlos hadn't kissed him, so he used the same torture technique on him.

Kendall trailed his open palms down Carlos' chest, over his nipples – Carlos bit his lower lip – down to his happy trail. Kendall's heart was beating at 500 miles per hour when his fingers curled up and undid Carlos' pants. He kneeled to help Carlos out of them and came eye-to-eye with Carlos' fully erect member.

Kendall licked his lips and forgot everything he had planned, everything he had wanted to do to Carlos, simply taking him in his mouth as deep as he could and slowly pulling off completely only to do it again.

Carlos let out a moan at the new amazing feeling. "Oh, God, Kendall!" Carlos whispered, bringing a hand into Kendall's honey like hair. Kendall's hands moved up Carlos' thighs, caressing circles as Kendall moved to suck at his tip. "So good…" Carlos moaned. Kendall took him in again, bobbing his head as fast as he could.

Carlos felt his orgasm building and pulled at Kendall's hair. "Mi vida, ya. Mi vida para. Para mi amor para!" _(My life, stop. My life stop. Stop, my love, stop!) _Kendall didn't understand but stopped to look up at Carlos. "I don't want to come just yet." Carlos let out, panting hard, his voice with a much heavier Spanish accent than usual.

Kendall stood, but Carlos brought his mouth down for a sultry kiss. When Carlos was done kissing him, Kendall's head was dizzy, his world was spinning. Suddenly he felt swept off his feet as Carlos took him in his arms with ease and carried him to the bathroom.

Kendall almost squealed in delight, finally understanding why girls – and Logan – liked being carried around like that. He felt cherished. Carlos set him down in the warm bath he'd made and stepped away, getting back into the bedroom. Kendall froze. Before he could ask Carlos where he was going a set of small, white Christmas lights lit up all around the mirror and another around the edges of the ceiling, making the little bathroom sparkle like a million tiny diamonds, giving just enough light for Kendall to see all the little details Carlos had set out for them – the rose petals in the water, the pink roses around the edge of the tub and the little bottle, conspicuously standing in the middle of an otherwise empty rack, next to the tub. Kendall reached for the little bottle, his eyes bulging at the letters on the label – orange flavored intimate lubricant.

Carlos leaned against the doorframe. "Like it?"

Kendall's head shot up. "You did all this for me?"

"Yes, mi vida. All for you. Do you like it?"

"Yes. I love it. I love it all."

"Then sit… let's enjoy a little."

Kendall nodded. He put the lube back on the rack, blushing slightly at the thought of what it would be used for and sat down gingerly, careful not to slip. Carlos joined him, sliding in between Kendall's outstretched legs, carefully turning to face him. Kendall hugged Carlos to his chest, sighing.

"What is it, amor?"

"I'm happy. This month with you has been the happiest I've ever been and today was magical. This… this is just perfect. Thank you."

"This is just the beginning, mi vida. Just the beginning." Carlos said, brushing his lips to Kendall jaw and his fingers to his boner. Kendall gasped a little. "Let's see what other beautiful sounds you can make for me." Carlos whispered, bring his lips lower on Kendall's body, to his nipple, right above water level. Kendall made another sound. Carlos loved it and bit down a little. Another sound. Carlos kept suckling and wrapped his hand around Kendall's length, moving his hand up and down a little. He gulped a little – Kendall felt much thicker than his black dildo. Fear tore through his heart, desire poured through his body. His mouth became even more needy, his hand began pumping faster.

The water made everything slippery. Carlos made him feel like in Heaven. Kendall would have sworn he could die from the pleasure of just having Carlos touch him like that. Carlos' hand wrapped around him, feeling like hot velvet on his sensitive skin, Carlos' lips on his body, Carlos' sweet scent… Kendall wanted to faint. He pulled Carlos' mouth to his own, with both hands and gave up control completely.

Carlos pulled away. "I want you…" He whispered, licking at Kendall's ear shell. "…inside of me." Kendall moaned only at the words.

"Baby, are you sure…"

"Yes, mi vida. I'm sure." Carlos purred.

Kendall felt like fainting again. "But… how…" Kendall let out in fear.

"Touch me." Carlos demanded, sitting on his knees, his hands on the back of the bathtub, supporting his weight, as he kept kissing at Kendall's neck. Kendall brought his hands to squeeze on Carlos' perfect, round ass, earning a little sound that got right to his groin. Kendall parted his cheeks a little – God! He so wished he knew what he was doing! Carlos gave him another little sound, somewhere between a moan and a little gasp for air.

"You won't hurt me." Carlos whispered.

"I don't know what I'm doing…"

"Just put one finger in, help me stretch for you…" Every word went right to Kendall's aching dick, making his erection painful. Kendall let out a little moan.

"If it's painful, you'll stop me…"

"Yes. If it gets too much I'll stop you. Just one finger now."

Kendall did what he was told. He put on long finger inside of Carlos. It slipped in easy, as the water gave them the needed lubrication. Carlos moaned in pleasure. "So good. Mmmm. Move, Kendy, move." Kendall obeyed, moving his finger in and out slowly. "Faster, Kendy. Deeper. Please." Carlos let out against Kendall's ear. He obeyed again.

"Is it really that good?"

"You have no idea. Just add another finger, mi vida, please, I need more."

Kendall did. Carlos hissed gently. Kendall wanted to pull out. "Don't, please. I love it. Harder. Just. Please. God!" Carlos started moving on his own, taking Kendall's fingers deep inside of him, as deep as they would go. Kendall just watched in amazement as Carlos moved, making the most amazing sounds he had ever heard. "Another, please Kendy, more!" Carlos demanded. Kendall slipped in not one but two fingers. Carlos let out a sound Kendall could not describe. He almost came hearing it. Carlos felt so tight! Kendall began scissoring his fingers, to make more room for them as Carlos' tightness was cutting his blood flow. Carlos threw his head back in pleasure. "More. Again. God! More. Kendall. Oh, my GOD!" Carlos let out, making no sense. Kendall moved his hand and fingers inside Carlos. He got some courage and moved faster and faster.

Neither expected Carlos' orgasm – it felt like the whole Earth had split in two – Carlos screamed out Kendall's name at the top of his lungs and filled the water with his seed, shaking with every rope he released, clenching around Kendall's fingers.

Kendall watched his lover's face as he worked him through the first orgasm he'd ever given him. Carlos was beautiful, simply beautiful – his lips a little swollen and red and parted, trying to take in as much air as they could, his eyes closed, his head tilted back, his back arched in pleasure, his whole body shaking violently.

"God, Kendall…"

Kendall smiled, looking into Carlos' lust filled eyes. "Yes, my love."

"Get inside me. Please."

Kendall nodded and took his fingers out of Carlos. Carlos whimpered. "Bed?" Carlos pouted. Kendall kissed his lips.

"No, now!" Carlos pinned Kendall down, saddling his legs, lowering himself on Kendall's length. Kendall gasped when he felt Carlos' heat lowering on him. "Carlos…"

Pain shot through Carlos as he took in Kendall's dick. It felt wider. Much much wider than he'd thought. Carlos hissed and lifted himself off. Kendall threw his head back. Carlos tried again, lowering himself slowly. Kendall's head slipped inside of him and Carlos stilled, pain rushing through the cells of his spine.

Kendall pulled his cheeks further apart and Carlos felt a bit of relief as a little water rushed inside of him, around Kendall. Carlos pushed lower, hiding his head in Kendall's neck. Kendall moaned, the tightness and heat of Carlos' insides driving him insane, the fear of hurting Carlos paralyzing him. Carlos didn't stop until his hips met Kendall's then froze, ordering himself to relax around Kendall thick width. He lifted his face from Kendall's neck to look him in the eyes, finding nothing but love in the green depths that met his brown.

"I love you." Kendall breathed out, fighting himself to be still. Carlos squeezed his muscles around Kendall, getting a desperate, needy moan out of his lover, then lifted himself just a half inch off of Kendall's lap.

"Move." He ordered. Kendall did, slowly at first, testing, trying to find his rhythm. Carlos demanded more and Kendall gave it to him. It didn't take long for Kendall to be moving at full speed inside of Carlos. Carlos kept squeezing his muscles, making it harder for Kendall to control himself.

The only coherent thought that came out of them was Carlos' "there" when Kendall hit his special spot and the screams of each other's name as Carlos let go in the bath water again and Kendall filled Carlos' insides with his warm seed.

Carlos almost fainted in pleasure, finally being one with the man he loved. Kendall wasn't far behind. He had never had an orgasm as hard, as delicious as this one.

"I love you." He chanted in Carlos' ear, over and over again, holding him to his chest. After a little while, Carlos lifted himself from Kendall, hissing in pain and emptiness and lay down beside Kendall in the spunky bath water. He giggled a little at the thought.

"Happy anniversary, mi vida."

"Happy anniversary, my love."


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's notes:**

**A third chapter today - yeah - I'm obsessed, I know, I know. I just love my Jagan too much!**

**Emily is finally here. With a BANG.**

**I really hope you like it. Please - pretty please review. Pretty please!**

**Love!**

**PS: Kimmie - I could never get sick of you. Thank you SO much!**

* * *

Logan had been in the hospital, just vegging around, doing nothing, being bored out of his mind, driving James, the nurses and Dan insane for the better part of a month now. Dan was happy about him going on almost eight months of pregnancy, saying it was the best for Emily. Dan actually had high hopes that Logan would be able to carry the pregnancy to term.

Every weekend he'd get visits from Carlos and Kendall, Gustavo and Kelly, his parents, even Brooke came twice to James' delight. "She really seems to be trying." Logan told James once she left and he was safely wrapped in James' arms again.

James had been going home only for half hour or so to take a quick shower and change his clothes; otherwise he only left Logan's side to go look for Dan, if Logan sent him. That meant something like oh, two minutes – maybe.

Logan was bored out of his skull but happy. He felt loved and cared for. If he could just be allowed to get out of bed and into a place that didn't force him to wear his butt out all the god darn time! Not that James had any complaints about that – the man was simply obsessed with Logan's big, fat, round, pregnant ass and would bring him to that tiny little bathroom for a quicky or two at least twice a day. That made Logan feel very sexy. And actually begin to like his duck-walk.

But, as February ended Logan began to feel more and more uncomfortable. He got into false labor twice and James had a fit, swearing at Dan, blaming him, not understanding that the doctor had no way of foreseeing or preventing false labor.

March 8th and James woke up to Logan screaming in pain. He jumped out of bed, ran out of the door and yelled for Dan at the top of his lungs, his hair a mess, his clothes even more so. Dan came running and got Logan in the O.R. faster than you can say "donuts". James put on a pair of scrubs and went on to hold Logan's hand. When James was finally allowed in the operation room, Logan was on a table, a huge green sheet hanging above his chest. Behind the sheet Dan was already operating. James felt like fainting, but saw Logan so white and frail that he got over it and stepped next to his love, taking his hand.

"Hi." James cooed.

"Hi." Logan smiled back.

"Logan, how are you feeling?" Dan suddenly asked.

"Good… Numb?"

"Do you feel this?"

"Feels… cold… but no pain."

"Good."

"You look a bit white." James caressed the hair off of Logan's forehead.

"Yeah…" Logan said faintly, closing his eyes.

"James, don't let him fall asleep." Dan instructed.

"Logie…" James nodded to Dan's words. "What do you think our baby will look like?"

Logan smiled, looking up at James. "I don't know. I just hope she has your eyes…"

"Logie… we never did let Dan tell us the sex of our baby… what do we do if we have a boy?"

Logan's smile faded. "We need a name… James we need a boy's name…"

"I like Logan."

"Stop being so adorable." Logan felt his eyes close.

"No!" James let out, scaring everyone. Logan opened his eyes. James sighed in relief – his visions of having to raise their child all alone had not left him, he was still scared something might happen to Logan on the operating table. "I'm serious, Logan. Maybe if we have a son…"

"If we have a son… Then I want to call him KC… after his godfathers."

"Oh, those two are gonna flip when they hear that."

"Do you like it?"

"KC Diamond. Yeah – I like it." James finally said, kissing Logan's hand.

A baby cry broke the magic surrounding them. Logan smiled, tears running down his face. James smiled until his face hurt. He turned his head to get a glimpse of his new baby.

"It's a girl!" Dan announced.

"Emily…" Logan trailed off in a whisper, losing consciousness. A machine beeped loudly and Dan began to scream at a nurse to take the baby and spat instructions at the other. Time slowed down for James as Logan's hand turned limp in his own and he turned to watch Logan's white face. The alarm on that dreaded machine was ripping through James' eardrums, right into his brain.

"Logan…" James whispered. Dan and the nurses rushed around him. "Logan…" Visions of his life alone with their daughter flooded James' sight. "Logan…" James fell to his knees. "LOGAN!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. "LOGAN DON'T YOU DARE DO THIS TO ME" A male nurse came in the O.R. "LOGAN YOU PROMISED ME! YOU PROMISED!" The male nurse fought to drag James away from Logan, at Dan's shouted instructions. "LOGAN I FORBID YOU TO DIE! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE! LOGAN! LOGAN, PLEASE!" The nurse finally managed to drag James out of the operating room.

James fell to a heap on the floor crying his eyes out, flashes of himself growing old alone filling his head. Images of emptiness. Of sorrow. Of being a walking dead. James cried until he fainted.

* * *

When he came to his senses, James was lying on a hospital bed, his mother by his side. James shot up, standing at full height in less than a second.

"James, sit back down, please." Brooke cooed.

"Logan…"

"He's in post-op…"

"Take me to him." James ordered, not even caring about…well anything really.

Brooke nodded. "Just please, sit down." Brooke gestured to a wheel chair. "I'll take you to Logan myself."

James agreed, knowing he would have no chance against his mother stubbornness. That he did get from her. He sat down in the chair and Brooke maneuvered him out of the room, into the post-op section.

"We can't go in yet, but you can see him from here." She pulled in front of a window wall.

James shot up from the chair and stormed in Logan's room without as much as a single word. He stopped only when he could take Logan's hand in his. Logan's hand, his beautiful hand, was cold. Logan was white as a sheet of paper. James fell to his knees again.

"Logan…" James let out, his forehead resting on Logan's cold hand. "Thank you for not leaving me."

Logan slightly moved his hand and James' head shot up. He stood in half a second, looking at Logan, his precious Logan. He was still out.

"Can you hear me, Logan? Can you hear me?" Logan's hand moved a little. James took it as a reply. "I'm here, baby, I'm here. I love you, Logan. Please be strong. I need you. I need you more than I need air, Logan, please come back to me." James kissed Logan's cold hand.

* * *

Kendall and Carlos ran inside the hospital at top speed. Brooke had called earlier letting them know that Logan had had his daughter. She was safe but Logan was critical, because of the extensive blood loss. His heart had not had enough strength to get him through the trauma of a C-section. Dan and his team had saved his life, but the next 24 hours were critical as to whether or not Logan would make it.

They found James in Logan's room, looking broken and lost. Kendall hugged Carlos to his chest. The envy he had felt on James and Logan for being able to have their own child without a surrogate was now completely gone, finally understanding the risks to which Logan had submitted himself for their baby.

Carlos shared Kendall feelings in full and clung to his love just as tight, leaving James to be with Logan for as long as it took to get Logan back. Instead they decided to go find their goddaughter. The maternity ward was empty, as was the whole hospital, due to Gustavo's generous "rental" agreement.

They found Emily sleeping snugly in her blanket. She was the prettiest little thing either of them had seen. She had James' beauty in her features and – Carlos cooed – Logan's dimples. Carlos let his head on Kendall's shoulder, letting a couple of tears fall as they watched their goddaughter sleep peacefully, not knowing what her parents were going through right now.

* * *

Joanna fell into Ryan's arms, crying until she ran out of tears when she saw he only child lying on that cold hospital bed, with tons of machines connected to him, fighting for his life. She cried even more at the sight of James, broken to pieces over the possibility of losing the man he loved.

Emily made her feel better. She got to hold the perfect little baby. Joanna literally melted when she opened her eyes and she saw the hazel color. She quickly handed the baby back to the nurse and ran out crying. Logan was getting his every dream was coming true and he was fighting for his life.

Ryan found his wife on a chair, just outside the maternity ward, bawling her eyes out. He, himself, was barely holding it together. He hugged Joanna and cried with her. It solved nothing, of course, but it did make him feel a bit better.

* * *

Gustavo and Kelly arrived last and found the gloomiest of moods. Gustavo started yelling at the hospital staff to make Logan better and NOW. Kelly cried with Joanna and Brooke. Nothing got solved.

* * *

Carlos and Kendall thought their responsibility to look after Emily while James would not move from Logan side, so they stayed with her, missing the crying fest. Not that either of them was feeling happier, but, they focused on what Emily needed. Both of them knew that Logan would be all right.

* * *

James didn't move. Not even to eat. Not even to the bathroom. Not even an inch. He kept holding Logan's hand, trying his best to warm him up, failing miserably as he was the same temperature – cold in fear. Except James didn't know that. All that James knew was that Logan needed him and he refused to move. Even when nurses came to check up on Logan's vitals. Even when Dan came in pleading. Even when he saw his friends and family at the window. Even when Carlos brought Emily to the window. James didn't move. He made the mistake of looking away from Logan on the operating table and Logan ended up within an inch of his life. He would not do the same again. He would not move, he would not let go of Logan until Logan – his Logan – would be fine again.

When a nurse came to change Logan's bandages, the following day, James allowed himself to be persuaded to move to touching Logan's leg, instead of holding his hand, thus allowing the nurse enough room to do her job. James cringed at the scars on Logan's belly and chest. It looked like an ugly reverted T, but his Logan was alive, and nothing else mattered. The nurse finally left and James moved back again.

Logan had made it through the night. That was a good sign. He had still to wake up, but he had made it through the night. James hadn't slept a wink. He was afraid that when he'd close his eyes, the vision of his life without Logan would invade him again.

"Logan…" James whispered. He couldn't even form proper sentences through the pain in his heart.

Logan stirred a little. James didn't notice yet.

* * *

Logan opened his eyes. His head hurt. There was too much light. He felt cold. His chest hurt. His belly hurt. He curled his toes – those didn't hurt – thank God! Something that didn't hurt! He felt his right hand was warm. He turned his head. A smiled tugged at his lips. James was sitting by his side, their hands linked together. James was almost asleep and didn't see him wake up, so Logan kept quiet. James looked like he'd missed sleep. A lot of sleep.

James' eyes shut for just a split second before he snapped out of it, blinking rapidly. He noticed Logan smiling up at him.

"Logan…" He whispered.

"Jamie." Logan moved his thumb to caress James' hand.

James broke down. He doubled over, burying his face in Logan's leg as he cried. Logan gingerly lifted his left hand and caressed James' messy, dirty hair. Logan had never seen James look like that. Sloppy. Unkempt. Unwashed. Lacking sleep. Logan's heart began to race.

"Emily…?" He asked.

"Perfect. Healthy." James let out between sobs. Logan sighed in relief.

* * *

Dan rushed in post-op to find James crying into Logan's leg while Logan caressed his hair. Even in the worst of situations those two managed to remain sickeningly sweet.

"You two are so cheesy." Dan let out with a smile. Seeing Logan recover was one of the best news of his life. So many lives were affected by this special young man; Dan didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. Plus, it would be such a bad ending for his case study to have something dreadful happen to Logan.

James snapped up. "Jealous much?" He wiped his tears from his sleep deprived eyes.

"Jealous a lot." Dan replied, letting a supporting hand rest on James' shoulder.

"He's on a hospital bed and you still want my man."

"Hey I wanted him when he was pregnant, a hospital bed is nothing to me." Dan laughed happily. Having James sass him was the best sign everything would be back to normal in no time.

"Again – MINE!" James gently kissed Logan's fingers.

"Sorry, Dan. I'm taken." Logan let out with a whisper.

Dan fake sighed, taking Logan's vitals. "I shall suffer in silence, then." Dan said before turning to James. "There's an ice chip machine in the hall – could you…"

James nodded and left the room.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked as soon as the door closed behind James.

"I had no choice but take out your uterus, Logan, I'm sorry. There was a complication…"

"I have Emily." Logan said, stopping Dan's apologies. Dan nodded.

James returned with the ice chips and placed a few on Logan's chapped lips.

"Thank you, baby."

James didn't leave Logan's side until he was transferred to his own room, safely in the care of his parents. He went to finally see Emily for the first time, but not before changing into some fresh clothing Brooke had brought for him.

The second he took the baby in his arms, James was hopelessly in love. She smelled so good, so sweet. Her skin was so soft and just as white as his Logan's. She had his eyes, just as Logan had dreamed of. When Emily curled her little fingers around his index finger James let his tears of joy fall. He finally had his family with him.

He took Emily to Logan's room while the nurse brought her crib.

* * *

Walking into Logan's room was a bit overwhelming. Everyone was there. Carlos. Kendall. Joanna. Ryan. Brooke. Gustavo. Kelly. Everyone.

James walked in with the most precious of bundles cradled securely on his strong arms.

Logan sensed James and turned to look at him. What he saw made his heart take flight with love. James, looking like an angel, carrying a pink bundle. A little – tiny tiny little hand was wrapping around James' right index finger. James looked up, meeting Logan's chocolate gaze. He smiled with all of his heart, forgetting about pain and fatigue. He brought their daughter to her father, gently placing her in Logan's wide open arms.

"Hi." Logan cooed, looking down at his precious, beautiful daughter. Emily looked up at Logan with wide eyes. "She has your eyes." Logan told James with a whisper.

"Let's give them some time." Brooke ushered everyone out of the room, leaving the young family alone.

James climbed into bed. Logan moved aside, allowing James to hug him. Logan leaned back on James chest, with a sigh of happiness, holding his daughter tight.

"I love you, Logie. Thank you." James told him before he fell fast asleep.

"Daddy's tired, sweetheart." Logan told his daughter, putting a finger over his lips, as if his baby would tell anyone. Emily looked up and made a baby sound that melted Logan instantly. He began gently rocking his daughter to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's notes:**

**OK, so one more chapter to go. I'm sorry it's ending, but every good thing does come to an end. I'm happy I can meet my self imposed deadline. I really hoped you enjoyed this journey with me. I know I loved writing it. I'm sorry for last chapter's scare, I just...yeah...well...I'm sorry.**

**I decided that the truth should come out, so - hello Ellen :)) She's so helpful! And, oh, yeah, a little surprise that has been long in the making, for those who paid attention *giggles like a child***

**Thank you to everyone to read - even if you didn't review. Thank you Kimmie for supporting me. Thank you for the favorites and alerts, each of them means more to me than I can ever tell you!**

**Love love love you all!**

* * *

James took Logan and Emily home – well, Gustavo's Hamptons mansion, really – a couple of weeks later. Dan had kept Logan in the hospital longer than needed just to make sure his surgery was healing nicely and he wouldn't have any problems later, like infections and such.

Logan had never been happier. He had his complete family with him. He spent the whole night just watching Emily sleep. He didn't even feel the tiredness. He fell asleep next to Emily's crib. James brought him to bed about two am.

In the three days that Logan, James, Carlos, Kendall and Emily spent at Gustavo's mansion, before returning to "the real world" Logan made sure everyone knew how to feed and change his precious daughter. That does not mean, however, that he allowed anyone to do so without his CAREFUL supervision. He was always – ALWAYS – within a few feet away from Emily. He just couldn't help it.

James loved seeing Logan like that but he also felt a little neglected. Logan had even forgotten about his morning kisses. James sighed.

"Logie…"

"Yeah…?"

"Where's my morning kiss?" James pouted at around 10 in the morning. Logan's eyes went wide. That was the moment when he realized that for three whole days he had barely given a single moment of his time to James. Emily was the most important person in his life right now – and forever, from now on – but, that didn't mean he should not make time for his love.

"Baby…" Logan closed the gap between them, leaving Emily in her baby chair to play with a toy. "I've been neglecting you, haven't I?" James pouted, nodding ever so slightly. "I'm so so so so very sorry, baby." Logan hugged James close, by the waist, letting his head rest on James' shoulder.

"As long as you give me a little hug like this one, here and there, we're fine." James sighed, wrapping Logan up in a bear-like hug.

"Just tell me when I get too wrapped up in Emily. Please?" Logan tip-toed and kissed James on the lips slowly, gently, lovingly.

"Never, ever forget about my morning kisses again." James said in a low, warning voice. Logan giggled. "You still owe me two!" James put up two fingers. Logan kissed James again, just as slow as the first time.

James sighed in pleasure. Logan parted their lips, pecking him a little as he did.

"One more." James smiled and dipped his face to kiss Logan, but Emily started to fuss and Logan ran to her side, picking her up. James sighed, stepping next to his family, tickling Emily's little chin. "Only for you little one, only for you."

Logan smiled. "You get two tomorrow." He winked.

"I'll hold you to that." James smiled back.

* * *

"Gustavo, we need to talk." Logan said as soon as he got back to LA, with his new family.

"Not again!" Logan made a face. "You can't be pregnant again!"

Logan began to laugh. "No, Gustavo, I'm not pregnant. Dan had to take out my uterus, remember?"

Gustavo let out a sigh of relief. "Then what do you want, dog?"

"Really? Dog? Again?" Logan lifted an eyebrow and folded his arms over his chest. Gustavo shrugged. Logan sighed and hung his head, his hands falling on either side of his body. "You'll never change, Gustavo. Guess that's a good thing… I need stability in my life." Logan smiled a little.

"Get to the point."

"I need to tell my fans the truth."

"WHAT?!" Gustavo stood up, slamming his hands on the desk.

"I can't lie. And I refuse to hide Emily or make up some stupid lie about who she really is. She is my daughter and my fans – the real ones – will love me anyway and support my happiness." Logan said sternly. "Mine and James'…" He added dreamingly.

Gustavo sighed, falling back into his chair. "You will destroy Big Time Rush, Logan…" He mumbled.

"No, Gustavo, I won't." Logan sighed, scratching behind his head. "I can't believe I'm saying this…" He mumbled under his breath. "Imagine the publicity. A gay band. One of those gay men actually gets pregnant, carries the baby to term and has a successful C-section, now having a healthy baby, a loving fiancée and a loving family by his side. Dan and Frannie will be on the cover of all medical science magazines, we will gain the support of the entire gay community…" Logan began to rant on and on, listing every single "pro" item on the list he had made, choosing, purposefully to ignore all the "con" items.

Gustavo gave up. "The Ellen Show, again?"

Logan nodded. "She's a well known lesbian. Giving her exclusivity is only natural. Isn't it?"

"Fine! I'll make it happen."

"Thank you, Gustavo. Thank you!"

"All four of you?"

Logan nodded again. "I think it's best…"

"Yeah… maybe this way Roberto…"

"No, he won't back off…" Logan said sadly.

"I've managed to keep his lawyers away for now, but…"

"He still wants to declare Carlos…?"

"Yup! He thinks that having a court declare Carlos unable to make his own decisions and name him Carlos' legal guardian will stop Carlos from loving Kendall…"

"That's insane! Did you tell Carlos yet?"

"No."

"Why?"

"He's suffering enough without knowing the extent to his father's stupidity." Gustavo grunted, pinching the bridge of his nose. Logan nodded without knowing he was doing so.

"Gus… Oh, hi, Logan." Kelly entered Gustavo's office, without knocking. Gustavo visibly melted, a smile growing on his face.

"Hi, Kelly." Logan greeted with a smile. Kelly entered the room and went around the desk to Gustavo as Logan got up. "I'll let you two talk." He simply said, exiting the room. As Logan was closing the door he saw Gustavo and Kelly kissing. "Finally." He whispered, smiling as he made his way to the recording room.

* * *

"Please welcome Big Time Rush!" Ellen said with a happy voice. "The complete formula, this time." She went on as the audience laughed. "Aren't I lucky?" The audience laughed again and so did the boys as they hugged Ellen and sat down on the couch by Ellen's side. Logan sat closest to her, James by his side, Kendall sat next to James and Carlos settled on the couch arm.

"I wasn't really expecting all four of you so…" Ellen teased.

"It's fine. This is really comfy – plus – for once, I get to see above their heads!" Carlos exclaimed, pointing to Kendall and James. Everyone laughed and Carlos winked.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Ellen asked, even though she knew every little development in the young men's lives.

"Weeeell…" James started. "We do have a new single out…" The crowd cheered.

"And we do owe you a live performance…" Kendall went on. The crowd cheered again.

"And – after we perform…" Carlos said in a little teasing voice.

"We have some news to share." Logan finished with a huge smile. The crowd cheered.

"Exclusively." Carlos added.

This time Ellen cheered. "Wow, now I really feel special." She said in her signature sarcastic tone. He guys giggled. "So – start singing!" Ellen ushered them to the stage. "Well – after the break." Ellen said, pointing to the camera.

"And we're out! Two minutes." A stage help said. The make-up team moved in to do little touches on all five of them right after the young men moved to the stage. James and Logan sat quietly, allowing the make-up women to do her job. Carlos kept fidgeting and Kendall tried to calm him down, making both their make-up artists go insane.

"Back in five…" The stage help yelled. Ellen came up on stage, next to Big Time Rush. "Four… Three… Two…" The guy showed a finger and pointed at Ellen.

"And we're back! With a song from Big Time Rush." Ellen stepped aside and the band began to play. All four of them sang at the top of their game, Kendall, Carlos and James dancing perfectly, while Logan sang from the side, on a high chair.

When they were done the crowd was screaming harder than ever on Ellen's show. "Thank you." Logan said in his microphone.

"Wow, guys, that was great!" Ellen patted them on the back as they came to sit by her once again. "So. Logan." Logan nodded and looked right at Ellen, his heart thumping in his chest. "I couldn't help but notice… you sitting down…"

"Yeah…"

"Why?"

Logan swallowed a lump. "Well… that's kind of a big part of the news we have for you, Ellen. But before I spill the beans… can we bring out two more chairs?"

Ellen lifted an eyebrow. "Yes, I guess we can…" Ellen made a sign to a stage help and two chairs were brought out. Ellen looked at Logan with expectation.

Logan was obviously nervous. "Ellen, I'd like you to meet doctor Dan Williams, doctor Fran Jones and someone very very special to me…" Logan said as Dan and Frannie came out carrying Emily in her baby carrier. Logan beamed seeing his daughter. He stood up as the two doctors shook hands with Ellen and took the baby out of her carrier. Emily squealed in happiness, lifting a little, chubby, baby hand to Logan's face. Ellen cooed seeing the baby.

"Who's this?" She asked with sweetness in her voice.

"This is Emily Danielle…" Logan looked at James, James nodded and put a hand on Logan's shoulder. "Diamond." Logan finished with a huge smile. The crowd gasped audibly.

"Emily is our daughter." James said smiling, but clearly nervous, looking at the crowd, pulling Logan to him.

"WHAT!?" A girl jumped up in the middle of the audience. "You're GAY?!"

James looked her in the eyes. "Yes."

"You've gotta be KIDDING me!?" She exploded.

"Why?" James confronted her. Logan put a hand on James' thigh, trying to calm him down. He felt James' protective side come to surface and it wasn't a good idea right then and there.

"You're James freaking Diamond – how can you be gay?" She exploded again.

"By falling in love." James shrugged.

"With Logan?" Ellen asked, trying to settle the discussion before it got out of hand.

"Yes, Ellen." James smiled wide. "With Logan. He's the most amazing person and I can't see my life without him and out baby." James' smile went from ear to ear, pulling Logan back a little to feel him closer. Logan mirrored James' smile.

"You make a beautiful young family." Ellen said before anyone could say anything.

"Thank you, Ellen."

"So, how is this little beauty…?"

"Well, that's the thing…" Logan said. "I had her."

"Excuse me?" Ellen asked a little more shocked than she had thought she would be.

Logan blushed. "You know, the last time I came here, I was a bit on the fat side…" Logan said and Ellen nodded. "Emily was the reason why."

"You were pregnant?" Ellen said.

"Yes." Dan replied.

"Dan was my doctor all through my pregnancy. He also delivered my baby." Logan explained.

"Logan was a special case." Fran explained. "He was born with both male and female reproductive organs. Fully functional. It's something that happens like one in a couple of million births, except it goes undiscovered as the men that are born with this condition are straight."

"My Logan is special." James let out, kissing Logan's temple.

Some people in the crowd cooed, but the girl that had spoken up earlier got up and simply left the studio.

"You should know that you will get some people reacting badly to this news." Ellen said, clearly speaking from experience.

"We know." Carlos added. "We're ready for what people may or may not say." Ellen lifted an eyebrow at him. "Kendall and I are together as well." Another loud gasp passed through the crowd. "And my father is one of the people who are against our relationship."

"That was my next question."

"My parents took it well enough. They were aware of my… emm… condition, I guess you could call it…? The doctors had offered to remove my uterus when I was born but mom and dad didn't want me to grow up with scars on my body, so…"

"My mother was a harder "nut to crack", so to speak, but Ryan – that's my soon-to-be father-in-law – got through to her, made her open up. Honestly, now were closer than we've ever been and I only have Logan to thank for that. He made my life perfect in every possible way."

Logan melted looking up at James and James offered him the sweetest smile. Emily made a baby noise, in Logan's arms, extending her little hands to James. James smiled and took the baby in his arms, Logan smiling until his face hurt.

"How about you?" Ellen addressed Kendall and Carlos. "Carlos, you said your father doesn't agree."

Carlos looked down, his face filled with sadness. "Yes. Papi is very religious; he thinks that homosexuality is a sin." Ellen made a noise of disapproval. "He thinks out goddaughter is an abomination. How can anyone think such a beautiful child is an abomination?" Carlos asked himself, with so much sadness it hurt to even see it. Kendall took Carlos' hand in his. There were no words to say that could ever make something like that right. "But Mami supports us." Carlos lightened up a little. "My sister as well. Not my brothers though…" Carlos looked up at Ellen with a sigh.

"I was lucky. Mom and Katie – my baby sister – have always known Carlos and I were meant to be together. They were expecting it and told me I was stupid for waiting so long." Kendall chuckled. Carlos smiled at the thought.

"You should have seen his face when Katie said that. It was precious." Carlos said from above Kendall's head.

"You always think Kendall's precious." James teased.

"Cause he is." Carlos shrugged. What was left of the audience cooed at the adorableness of it all – about half of the crowd had left when Carlos had spoken up about his and Kendall's relationship, following the girl that had sassed James.

"So, what's next for Big Time Rush?"

"Well. We have this album out. Now that Logan is back with us and able to work, we'll be able to really do publicity, maybe even a little tour." Kendall said and the other three nodded.

"So, no slowing down?"

"Nope. No sleep for the wicked." James joked.

"Awesome!" Ellen exclaimed. "Then…since you did owe me a performance… can I get another song out of you, before we end this show?"

The young men looked at one another and synchronized in said "Sure."

Kendall gave them the start and they did one of their best acoustic performances ever.

After the song Ellen thanked them and bid her viewers goodbye, letting them know what to expect in the next week's show.

* * *

As soon as they got back home Carlos ran to his and Kendall's room to hide his tears. Kendall followed instantly, holding Carlos to his chest as tight as he could.

Logan put Emily to bed and followed James to their best friends' room. Logan hugged Carlos from behind, letting his head rest on Carlos' shoulder blade. James sat on the bed and put a hand on Carlos' arm. Kendall thanked them both, over Carlos' head.

"Papi is having me declared unfit…" Carlos sobbed. Logan's heart sank.

"How…?"

"A subpoena came today." Carlos sobbed louder.

"What would posses…" James let out before thinking.

Logan sighed. "He thinks he can keep Carlos and Kendall apart like that."

"We won't allow it." Kendall said sternly, his heart speeding up.

Carlos straightened his back, pushing Logan away gently. "How?"

"We'll… we'll… we'll…" Kendall stuttered. He closed his eyes. "Logan – if we're married – the court will have to give me legal guardianship, right?" Kendall asked, looking Carlos in the eyes. Carlos gasped.

"I think so, yes. We have to look into this, but…"

"Then tomorrow we're going to Vegas." Kendall kept his eyes locked on Carlos'.

"You… You…" Carlos was left without words.

"I… I…" Kendall replied "Worst case scenario the judge is stupid and agrees with your father, I want every weapon I can have to keep you by my side, Carlos. I won't let them take you away from me. I love you too much." Kendall began to shake like a leaf. "I won't allow him to take you away from me."

Carlos fell into Kendall's chest again, crying. "I love you, Kendall."

"So… Vegas?"

"Yes. Vegas."

James smiled at Logan over their friends. "Double wedding?"

"Seriously?" Logan squealed.

James nodded. "Do you guys mind?" He finally asked Kendall and Carlos as Logan literally flew into his embrace. Both of them shook their heads.

"You'll be our witnesses, we'll be yours." Kendall shrugged.

"Gustavo will flip!" Logan laughed in James' arms before standing up straight like a stone. "Emily…"

"Flower girl?" Carlos asked with a shy smile.

"She needs a dress." James said quickly.

"And I'm the girl?" Logan teased.

James shoved him in the ribs ever so slightly. "YES!" James pouted.

"You're adorable!" Logan laughed.


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's notes:**

**Here we go, the final chapter. I can not believe I'm done. I have been crying so hard while writing this chapter! I'll miss Jagan so much, but they're happy now and that's all that matters. *sobs***

**Thank you so very very very much for your support, for reading, for reviewing, for favoriting and just being amazing with me and my first BIG project.**

**Thank you Kimmie, for making me smile with your amazing reviews. **

**I love you all, my dear readers, even if you choose to keep quiet and not review. *sticks tongue out, still managing to remain cute***

**Love!**

* * *

**27 years later**

"I do." Emily said to the man she loved.

"I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

As Emily kissed her new husband James watched her curls fall on her beautiful face. Logan sniffed at his side. James smiled and got lost in the memories.

* * *

First time he ever got to feed Emily, under Logan's hawk-like eyes, back at Gustavo's Hamptons mansion. Emily had eaten just half of the food he had in the baby bottle. James got scared that she hadn't eaten enough, but Logan said it was ok and taken her in his arms to burp her.

* * *

When Emily had said her first word. James was sitting on the bed in their room, waiting for Logan to get ready for a party they had to attend. Emily was all dressed and packed up to be dropped off at Kelly's for the short while they would spend out of the house.

Emily had seen Logan come in the bedroom, from the bathroom, pulling on a jacket over his shirt. She extended her little hands, letting out a very clear, very surprising "MOMMA!". Logan's head had shot up to look at his daughter, a smile brightening his face.

"Emily, did you just say your first word?" He had squealed even before he had realized what Emily had said. James had seen it sink in, had seen Logan's facial expression change, had seen his jaw drop a little and had fallen off the bed, laughing with tears.

"Dude! She just called you MOMMA!"

Logan had frowned for a second but then he had laughed as well and hugged Emily to his chest, celebrating their daughter's first word.

* * *

Emily's first step. She had taken it on tour. In Paris no less.

After the whole "gay-bomb" had exploded and the "dust" had settled around them, they found that they had more fans then they had before "the bomb", so, they had had to go on a world tour. Of course Logan and James had brought Emily with them.

In Paris James and Logan had left Emily with her godfathers to go do some shopping. James had been in the changing room, trying on a pink shirt he could still remember every detail of it when his phone had beeped, letting him know he had a new mail. He had downloaded the little attachment only to see Emily walk her first steps into Kendall's arms while Carlos squealed in the background. James had lost his voice but then had heard Logan's _ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod _; both of them had rushed back to the hotel room to see if Emily would walk for them as well. Of course she hadn't. Carlos had always gone "in your face" over that moment.

* * *

The fight he had had with Logan over putting Emily in public school or private school or maybe school her at home. Logan had always wanted to school Emily at home, just to spare her the hurt of having two gay fathers instead of a mother and a father, but James had been stern about putting Emily through public school, giving her as much of a normal childhood as they could and not pampering her.

Logan had finally given in and enlisted Emily into public kindergarten.

James could still remember how his heart crushed when he and Logan had left Emily in the care of a perfect stranger for the first time in her life. But they had done it. And it had proved to be for the best, as Emily had grown to be a humble and gentle young woman, not a spoiled little brat.

James could not have been more proud of his daughter and his husband.

* * *

The first time Emily had screamed "I HATE YOU!" at the top of her lungs at James, for not allowing her to a party where had had known there would be alcohol and drugs. The pain in his heart when he had heard those words. The pain he had felt seeing his daughter's hazel eyes begin to water up because of his decision. Logan had backed him up that night, but it still wasn't easy.

* * *

The sheer happiness he had felt when he and Logan had attended his daughter's high school graduation ceremony. The pride on his daughter's face as she received her diploma. The tears in his husband's eyes watching her. And the way she had literally flown into their open arms afterwards.

* * *

Emily's first boyfriend. Chuck. James had never liked Chuck. He seemed stupid, from his name to his face, James had not liked him at all, not one bit! When he had seen her kiss the guy for the first time, James had barely controlled himself from punching the guy in the face for touching his precious daughter. But Emily had seemed happy so James had let the relationship run its course.

Only two weeks later he had found Emily crying into Logan's shoulder because Chuck had dumped her for not putting out when he had wanted her to. James had been so proud of his then 15 year old daughter for saying "no". He had walked in and had hugged his daughter and husband without a word. Emily had cried until she had fallen asleep. James had taken her to bed.

* * *

Emily, all dressed in pink, in her baby carrier, in Carlos' hands as he and Logan had said "yes" to one another in Vegas. Her little hand print still was on his and Logan's marriage license, as a witness. That had been Carlos' idea.

* * *

Emily's hand print had been placed on her godfathers' wedding certificate as well.

Papa Garcia had found out about their wedding from hearing Sylvia talk to Carlos on the phone that day and had come to stop it. The moment Emily's hand had been placed on the wedding certificate was the exact same moment when Papa Garcia had burst into the little chapel, screaming for "the atrocity" to be stopped. It had been too late, of course, and Papa Garcia had screamed at his youngest son that he no longer was any blood of his.

Carlos had cried a lot that day, realizing his father would never accept his love and his marriage, but Emily had made him smile again with her baby giggles. Carlos had also realized that he did not need his father's approval. From that day on James had gotten to see a new, stronger side of Carlos that was, somehow, due to his immeasurable love for Emily.

Not long after that Papa Garcia had dropped the lawsuit on his own, had divorced his wife and had moved back in Mexico, leaving all of his children behind. Carlos had picked up the pieces of his broken family and had brought them together again. Every one of his brothers, his sister and his mother had grown to love Emily and treat her almost like she would have been Carlos' child, not just his goddaughter.

* * *

The awkward day that Emily got her period. James had never been more grateful for his mother. Brooke had come in the blink of an eye to save the day. She had explained every little thing and detail to her 13 year old granddaughter, had taken her to buy tampons and pain killers, then had taken her out for ice-cream and a movie, just between the two of them.

Logan had cried his eyes out seeing how "my baby is becoming a woman" and James had held him close, seeing as that was the only thing he had though to do. Logan had only calmed down when he had fallen asleep. James had still held him close, for the sake of it, just to feel his love close.

* * *

The Christmas Eve dinner when Emily had introduced James and Logan to Michael. James had no choice but to like the guy. He was nice. Respected his daughter. Treated her well. With care and attention, just lie she deserved. He respected Logan. He respected James.

James had tried to dislike the guy, like he had done with all the others before him, but had found nothing to actually dislike about him. James had sighed at the realization as Logan had served him desert, with a little sweet kiss on the lips. James had watched Michael's reaction like a hawk, but all he had done was smile and pull Emily a little closer to him, as James himself always did with Logan.

Michael had slowly won his heart. And Logan's. And, more importantly, Emily's – that was the reason why, today James had given his precious daughter away to him.

* * *

The day Emily had left for college. Medical college. Logan had been so proud, he had not been able to fit inside his own skin, and James, as always, had been able to see every ounce of that pride, and share it, tenfold. But, apart from the pride James had felt sorrow, sorrow over not having his little girl around anymore, sorrow over the fact that the years had passed so quickly and Emily was no longer a little girl.

* * *

One random day when Emily was five and had asked James to do her hair. She had sat there so quietly as he had combed her brown locks and had pulled them up into a couple of pig tails and tied them with big red bows almost as big as Emily's little head.

He had loved the 'do and had kissed James, saying "I love you, daddy." James hadn't found the strength to do anything more than nod and let her go play.

* * *

The day Michael had come to him and Logan to ask for permission to ask Emily to marry him. James had loved him then. He had said "yes" with all of his heart, knowing it was the right decision for his baby. Logan had agreed as well, as did Kendall and Carlos, since Michael had made sure to include them as well.

The next day Michael had actually asked Emily and she had said "yes" even before Michael had finished the sentence. James had melted on the inside seeing the pure happiness on Emily's face.

* * *

The first time James had seen Emily in her wedding gown. His breath had caught in his throat. He had not found words to describe her beauty, but she had understood him and bought the dress that had made him speechless.

Logan had cried into his shoulder at their daughter's beauty, when Emily had gone back to the changing room to get out of her brand new wedding gown.

* * *

Just two hours ago when James had seen Emily as a bride – fully dressed, hair and make-up done. He had cried and had lost his words again. All he had been able to say was "You are beautiful".

"Daddy, you'll make me cry." She had said to him.

James had hugged her to his chest and had locked himself into the nearest bathroom to calm himself down, only opening the door for Logan who had needed to do the same. They both had laughed at their own sappiness.

* * *

The short walk down the aisle with his husband and daughter in between them, to give her away to Michael. James had never been more sure of anything. Michael had been made for Emily and Emily had been made for Michael.

* * *

Logan leaned into his husband. He felt James wrap his arms around him mechanically. Logan looked up into the face he loved so much.

They were both now well into their late forties, but James was every bit just as beautiful as he had been in his twenties, if not more so. His hair had grown a bit white on the sides, but Logan thought it gave him that certain je-no-says-quoi that came with age. James had yet to develop a single wrinkle – Logan was expecting that day with anxiety – James would probably have a meltdown, just as he had had the first time he had discovered a gray hair.

Logan noticed James' mind was in another place. "What is it, baby? What are you thinking of?"

"Huh?"

"Where are you?" Logan whispered again.

"Remembering, baby, remembering."

"I know. It seems like just yesterday we had her." Logan said dreamingly.

"Don't remind me of that day. I hate remembering the moment when I almost lost you." James nuzzled Logan's hair.

"You didn't though. You'll never lose me, James."

"I love you, Logan. So much!"

"I love you too, husband."

When James' lips touched Logan's it was just like the first time, in Logan's bathroom at the Big Time Rush mansion. Passionate and arousing and filled with need.

"You two are just disgusting! Get a room!" Carlos nudged James in the ribs, hard, a smile on his face.

"You're such a little bitch." James said jokingly.

"Hey! You mess with my husband, you mess with me." Kendall came in behind Carlos, hugging his husband. Carlos leaned back and accepted Kendall's hug and protection.

"He started it, saying we're gross." Logan defended his own husband.

Kendall shrugged. "That's cause you are. You're nauseatingly sweet. It's gross!"

Logan giggled, holding onto his husband. "We should go see Emily off."

All three men nodded and headed out to hug their daughter/goddaughter goodbye before she left for her honeymoon in Hawaii.

**THE END**


	21. Author's notes

Not a chapter - sorry to anyone who thought so - just a little update that I totally forgot to post.

Because I loved this story and because it gave "birth" to many images inside of my head, I decided to share them with you, my beloved readers, so, please go check out my new on-going story BECAUSE I LOVE THEM.

It's a compilation of different moments from each of my beloved characters, including details on Gustavo and Emily's point of view - eventually.

These moments would not have added or substracted anything from Drunken Happiness, so I decided to skip them while writing the main story, but, I just can't keep them to myself.

So, yeah, that's basically it.

Please don't shy away from reviewing - I literally LIVE on reviews!

Thank you for stickying by my side through my very first mpreg.

Love you all!

Emy


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